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Old 02-08-2009, 09:28 PM   #11
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My wife decided we needed to go antiqueing.
After walking through several stores, we came across one that was filled with antique luggage, attachés and the like.
A few minutes of looking around, a man in the store loudly asked the proprietor, "How much for this old bag?"
"Fifty bucks, no return!" I answered.
THAT'S WHEN THE FIGHT STARTED

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Old 02-08-2009, 09:30 PM   #12
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I rear-ended a car this morning.
So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got
out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and Little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT
HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'

And that's when the fight started.....

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Old 02-08-2009, 09:35 PM   #13
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My wife said, "Honey, I'm thinking about getting a boob job". I said, "You don't need a boob job. Just get some toilet paper and rub it in your cleavage". She asked, "Will that make my boobs bigger?" I said, "It worked for your butt".

That's how the fight started.

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Old 02-08-2009, 09:43 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gregs887 View Post
My wife said, "Honey, I'm thinking about getting a boob job". I said, "You don't need a boob job. Just get some toilet paper and rub it in your cleavage". She asked, "Will that make my boobs bigger?" I said, "It worked for your butt".

That's how the fight started.
Wow, did not take long for a duplicate.
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Old 02-08-2009, 10:39 PM   #15
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My wife threatened to cut me off, I told her she couldn't. She said wait and see, I said you don't know where i'm getting it. And then the fight started

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Old 02-09-2009, 01:12 AM   #16
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I sent my wife to the store last week for a pack of cigarettes. She came home with a little pouch of tobacco and papers and told me "Roll your owns, They are so much cheaper"
So today when she sent me to the store I brought back a bag of cotton balls and a roll of string. "Roll your owns" I said, "So much cheaper"
That is when the fight started.

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Old 02-09-2009, 01:36 AM   #17
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My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...

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Old 02-09-2009, 01:39 AM   #18
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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
Anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 In about 3 seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...

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Old 02-09-2009, 01:50 AM   #19
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Quote:
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Wow, did not take long for a duplicate.
My bad, didn't read the whole thread
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Old 02-09-2009, 02:22 AM   #20
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One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.” I said “WHAT?? What was that?”

So she says the words that every man on the planet dreads to hear: “You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.” She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can't you just love me for who I am not what I do for you in the bedroom?”

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you; she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck . I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That's fine, honey.”

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.”

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don't feel like it.”

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled “WHAT?”

I then said “Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.” I added, “Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”
And then the fight started...

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