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Old 01-23-2009, 12:01 AM   #1
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Default And then the fight started....

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Bud Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And then the fight started....

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Old 01-23-2009, 12:05 AM   #2
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Cane, you're a brave man.

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Old 01-23-2009, 12:48 AM   #3
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A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....

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Old 01-23-2009, 01:01 AM   #4
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The next day she was standing before the mirror looking at her chesticles.
As hubby walked in, she said "I wish there was something I could do to plump these things up and make them huge".
He pulled off a few sheets of toilet paper and handed them to her saying "Here Honey. Just rub this between them two or three times a day".
She looked confused for a beat, then asked "Does that really work?"

"Sure worked wonders on your ass."

And then the fight started.

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Old 01-23-2009, 01:09 AM   #5
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My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started....

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Old 01-23-2009, 01:37 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by canebrake View Post
My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started....
Then I woke up a week later and the doctor said with a few more surgeries I will be able to see again.
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Old 01-23-2009, 05:37 PM   #7
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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started....

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Old 01-23-2009, 06:14 PM   #8
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if i were drinking a soda when i read this i have no doubt it would be all over my laptop monitor by now... you guys are too much....

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Old 02-08-2009, 08:49 PM   #9
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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...

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"...if doves shot back, there wouldn't be a need for a bag limit."
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Old 02-08-2009, 09:26 PM   #10
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When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.

So I took her to a gas station.

And that's when the fight started....

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