Talking USMC Dog
A guy was driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he
saw a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the
dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the back yard and sees a nice looking
Beagle sitting there. 'You talk?' he asks.
'Yep,' the Beagle replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk,
he says 'So, what's your story?'
The Beagle looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I
could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so
I told the CIA and they had me sworn into the toughest branch of the
armed services...the United States Marines. You know one of their
nicknames is 'The Devil Dogs.'
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to
country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders; because no one
figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable
spies for eight years running, but the jetting around really tired me
out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger. So, I decided to settle
I retired from the Corps (8 doggie years is 56 Corps years)
and signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security,
wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some
incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married,
had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what
he wants for the dog.
'Ten dollars,' the guy says.
'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you
selling him so cheap?'
'Because he's such a liar ... He never did any of
that. He was a Chief in the Navy!
“If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen.” ― Samuel Adams