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Old 02-15-2010, 01:56 AM   #11
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My condolences to you and the families involved. I would let the counselor know that your boy is having problems and is acting out of character since he has been informed of the death of his uncle and how it happened. Inform him/her that since it was their idea to be honest with your son that should he need further help to cope, that it's only fair for him/her to foot the bill. One problem with the doctors and associates in the mental health field is they always want the truth brought forward regardless of how, or who it might harm.

A 6 year old is not capable of handling the details of a suicide. You were right in thinking that he should only be told that the uncle suffered from a severe sickness and died. Later on in years your son can be told the truth, if he asks.



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Old 02-15-2010, 04:33 AM   #12
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There is a point where this might come back to you. A friend shot himself and for ever we told his daugheter he pased in a car accident. Latter she found the truth and was upset with everyone that had lied to her. Trying to make that right became a huge issue as she did trust anyone.



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Old 02-15-2010, 04:58 AM   #13
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The child is 6 years old... tell him when he gets older. Hell, right now he is confused where chicken nuggets come from much less a family member taking their own life.

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Old 02-15-2010, 08:56 AM   #14
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I agree with most everyone, the therapist was gave dumb advice. If your son continues with the abnormal thought processes like apologizing for everything or saying he's bad at everything, try reassuring him with positive things that he does. If you and your ex share a religion, maybe use supportive ideals like God loves you, etc.
We just went over depression and suicide in my abnormal psychology class so the info is still fresh in my mind.
Sorry for your loss, I hope we helped.

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Old 02-15-2010, 01:24 PM   #15
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Sorry for your loss.

I would not lie to the child but also not go into detail. I would say that he died and then try to answer the questions that come from that conversation. The concept of death is foreign and confusing at that age. The reason for death will just amplify the confusion, even as adults we don't always understand why someone takes their own life.

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Old 02-15-2010, 02:47 PM   #16
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Telling a 6 year old someone died is not right in my book.

Telling a 6 year old someone is gone till he is about 10 to 13 is different and not lying.

I can't believe anyone would want to tell a 6 year old someone is dead. It is just not right.

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Old 02-15-2010, 04:42 PM   #17
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Most 6 year olds do not have the capacity to understand death. The therapist is a douche and needs a good "talking to". I do not feel it is a lie to say he died from depression. That is the cause. The mechanism does not matter.

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Old 02-15-2010, 05:30 PM   #18
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First let me say I am sorry for your loss.

That is a tough situation to be in... I think the counselor that told you to tell him he killed himself was wrong. He should have told you to just explain it to him when he was a little older. In the mean time, all he needed to know was that his uncle passed away. Had he been older it would have been easier to explain to him what happened, and you could also further explain to him that if he is ever feeling sad or upset he can always talk to you or his mother. I would not lie to him about it simply for the fact that when he does find out the truth, it would hurt him more.

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Old 02-15-2010, 09:54 PM   #19
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Thanks to all the responses. Me and my son are close and talk about things that are bothering him all the time. We talked about the issue last night. HE was definetly confused. Suicide I fully do not understand myself. I reasured him that he could come to me about any problems. He does not really discuss his mother or anything to do with her with me. We talked for quit awhike and I thinkhe understands alittle better. I really hate that my 6 year old knows that suicide is even an option. His mother is a bone head to believe a therapist. I wanted the name of the therapist but she would not give it to me. Since me and my son have talked he has acted alittle different. Like he is at ease. Calmer! I really thank you all for your responses.
Thank You
Thomas

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Old 02-15-2010, 10:15 PM   #20
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Thomas, I'm glad to hear that you two are close and he has a better understanding of the situation. You can't really fault his mom for telling him though. She was probably confused over the situation herself. I would suggest she change therapists though... the one she has now sounds like a moron.



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