Subject: Goverment Programs 4 Early Retirement
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Subject: Goverment Programs 4 Early Retirement

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Old 11-06-2009, 09:14 AM   #1
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Default Subject: Goverment Programs 4 Early Retirement

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy, your Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 50 years of age and older on early retirement.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early)
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the government to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the government deems appropriate.

Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government.

Those who have not been RAPED and are staying on, will receive as much SH!T (Special High Intensity Training) as is possible.

The government has always prided itself on the amount of SH!T it produces.

Should you feel that you do not receive enough SH!T, please bring this to the attention of your local MP.

They have been specially trained to give you all the SH!T you can handle.



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Old 11-06-2009, 01:49 PM   #2
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Been there, done that and have worn out the T-shirt! Subject: Goverment Programs 4 Early Retirement - The Club House

Get her dirty, then clean her so she starts to respect you. When her trust is complete, she will serve you well for a lifetime!

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Old 11-06-2009, 03:01 PM   #3
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...and there it is. Hope & change.
“If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or arms. Crouch down and lick the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen.”Samuel Adams
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Old 11-06-2009, 03:37 PM   #4
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Suddenly early retirement doesn’t sound so good.

Great post.
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Old 11-07-2009, 01:10 AM   #5
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I didn't a freaken t-shirt

Cane you got a t-shirt

Good post Jack!
Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not." ~ Thomas Jefferson

Originally Posted by Benning Boy View Post
If you're really bored, I'm your huckleberry. If you really want a challenge, I'm the one.

If you're really smart, you'll just peddle your paint.
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