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 11-06-2009, 09:14 AM | #1 | When it's Necessary.... Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Tornado "Just Blow Me" Alley, Oklahoma U.S.A. Posts: 8,424 |  Subject: Goverment Programs 4 Early Retirement
Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of the economy, your Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers 50 years of age and older on early retirement.
This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early)
Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the government to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).
Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers).
A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the government deems appropriate.
Only persons who have been RAPED can get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).
Obviously, persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the government.
Those who have not been RAPED and are staying on, will receive as much SH!T (Special High Intensity Training) as is possible.
The government has always prided itself on the amount of SH!T it produces.
Should you feel that you do not receive enough SH!T, please bring this to the attention of your local MP.
They have been specially trained to give you all the SH!T you can handle.
Jack
__________________
Jack
ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ!
"There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter." - Hemingway
“The greatest ignorance is to reject something you know nothing about.” | 
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| 11-06-2009, 01:49 PM | #2 | I'm always 10-8 Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: 150 miles NE of Sloppy Joe's Bar, in the "GunShine" State Posts: 17,408 |
Been there, done that and have worn out the T-shirt!  __________________ .
 .. Colt 11101110111..MEMBER: FAAM, NRA, GOA, DAV, USSV, SAE
Colt, everything else is stamp collecting! - cane
When life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into your enemies open wounds. | |
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| 11-06-2009, 03:01 PM | #3 | Sic Semper Tyrannis Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: , The Mother Lode Posts: 18,437 |
...and there it is. Hope & change. __________________
Ineptocracy (in-ep-toc’-ra-cy) - a system of government where those least capable of leadership are elected by those least capable of producing, and where the members of society least likely to succeed or provide for themselves are rewarded with goods and services paid for by wealth confiscated from a diminishing number of people who actually work and produce.
ΜΟΛ'ΩΝ ΛΑΒ'Ε | |
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| 11-06-2009, 03:37 PM | #4 | Supporting Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 4,754 |
Suddenly early retirement doesn’t sound so good.
Great post. | |
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| 11-07-2009, 01:10 AM | #5 | This is only a test Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Nonya, WA Posts: 3,991 |
I didn't a freaken t-shirt 
Cane you got a t-shirt 
Good post Jack! __________________ Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not." ~ Thomas Jefferson
Quote:
Originally Posted by Benning Boy
If you're really bored, I'm your huckleberry. If you really want a challenge, I'm the one.
If you're really smart, you'll just peddle your paint.
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