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Old 02-25-2013, 12:08 AM   #21
The Apocalypse Is Coming.....
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Originally Posted by locutus View Post
This is a little off topic, but not completely.

I've heard that old age is a time in your life when you look back and repent of the times that you successfully resisted temptation!
but what if you didn't resist?
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Old 02-25-2013, 12:09 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by locutus View Post
This is a little off topic, but not completely.

I've heard that old age is a time in your life when you look back and repent of the times that you successfully resisted temptation!
Wrong most politely.! OLD AGE is that time when you wonder if there is a heaven or hell..!

Now , if there is NO HEAVEN , I THEN WILL KICK MY OWN ASS FOR ETERNITY CAUSE I COULD A HAD SOoooo MUCH MORE FUN........!
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Old 02-25-2013, 12:13 AM   #23
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In my drinking days (which were a very long time ago) I once made a pass at a lady in her own home while drunk, knowing that her large, tough husband was due home any minute, and that he collected and carried .44 Magnum revolvers.

That's one of many.

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Old 02-25-2013, 12:34 AM   #24
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Ive done boat loads of stupit sheet, but id rather tell bout what my bro told me the other day...

He works head of security at a big hospital round here. In comes this guy to the emergency room all screamin n squakin hold his southern parts which looks like hes got a softball shoved in his drawers. Hes frantically demanding they"cut it off!!""cut it off!!

Finally they sedate this clown so hes calm enuff to deal with him. Taking off his pants they come to his plight,his "lower" head was swollen to the size ofa ball. Upon further investagation they spot somthing shiny.

The follow figured it might be a good idea to pass the time cuffing the carrot with his wedding ring. At some point during this brillant act guess he noticed the thing was stuck.

Out come the power tools to remove said ring,followed by snickers and jaw drops for the next couple weeks at the water cooler.

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Old 02-25-2013, 12:47 AM   #25
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Just about everything I have done in my life since I was 13...except for having my son and sticking around to raise him..

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Old 02-25-2013, 03:26 AM   #26
Ain't she sweet?
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Originally Posted by F4U View Post
I used to work in a plumbing store when I was in high school, some little kid would mistake the displays for the real thing about once a month. It sucked being the bottom of the seniorty list on those days.
One of my girlfriends children did exactly that. LOL

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I'm on my 4th marriage, need I say more..........
I've only found one man brave enough to marry me. And after 12 years he turned tail and ran.
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Old 02-25-2013, 03:41 AM   #27
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My first fiance' was "ready," but I wanted to be the "Honorable Gentleman" and wait for the ceremony.

We broke up, and a couple of months later, she moved in her new boyfriend.

Talk about feeling STOOPID

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Old 02-25-2013, 04:05 AM   #28
The Apocalypse Is Coming.....
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i have hada few ex girlfriends who played me for a chump and made me feel stupid. goes with the territory. live and learn.

i'm truly blessed to have the wife i do now. after all the mistakes i made with women in the past, she makes it all worthwhile. i'd be lost with out her.

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Old 02-25-2013, 04:19 AM   #29
I want either less corruption or more opportunity to participate in it.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by locutus
My first fiance' was "ready," but I wanted to be the "Honorable Gentleman" and wait for the ceremony.

We broke up, and a couple of months later, she moved in her new boyfriend.

Talk about feeling STOOPID
Sounds like you ended up being the smart one there in the long run.
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Old 02-25-2013, 04:28 AM   #30
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Teenager. Doing touch up painting on heavy equipment. Got paint on hands. No problem- there is a can of jelly type paint stripper on the shelf right there. Poured a big ka-plorch out in my palm, and quickly spread it on both hands. For about 4 seconds.

PAIN!

Nerve killing, overwhelming, you-just-stuck-your-tongue-on-electric fence PAIN Did not know that methylene chloride paint stripper goes right for any nerve endings, and sets them alight while pulling them out through your nostrils.

Damned near passed out it hurt so bad. Got it washed off with the hose, and was able to breathe again after only 2-3 minutes. Immediately put that one into the "Let's not do this again REAL soon" category.

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