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Benning Boy 01-05-2010 02:55 PM

State Mythology Series: Texas
I'm frankly sick of winter in the great Northeast.

I'm gonna chuck it all and move. But where?

This will hopefully be a series of threads where we learn about other states from the very people that live there. Forget what you think you know, and learn of these foreign lands, the good and bad, from the natives.

Texas seems like the place to start, since all but 3 members are from there.

So help us out, cowboys, enlighten us on:

1) Best indigenous food

2) Biggest plus to living there

3) Biggest minus

4) Weirdest wildlife

5) A word or phrase that an outsider wouldn't understand

6) Local boy or girl who made good.

7) Gun laws

8) Biggest misconception the rest of us might have about your state

9) The thing an outsider should never do

10) Restaurant

Feel free to add anything else. Non-Texans, feel free to ask anything else.
If this does well, we can do this with other states, as well.

CA357 01-05-2010 03:00 PM

A most excellent idea BB! I would be interested in Idaho, Oregon, Utah and Washington. Since I currently live in California, I won't offer anything on this place other than don't move here. The place is so far left that it tilts.

Benning Boy 01-05-2010 03:02 PM

Yeah, see, I think Washington, I think forest, rain, and Starbucks. I wanna know more.

1hole 01-05-2010 03:48 PM

I ain't no Texan but I have been to Muleshoe so I know a bit about Texas.

1) "Best indigenous food" - Bar-B-Que (beef). And all Tex-Mex stuff too, it's not for wimpy tourist types tho.

2) "Biggest plus to living there" - It's about as far from N.E. as you can get without going to California.

3) "Biggest minus" - Still too close to the N.E. and California.

4) "Weirdest wildlife" - Them women are something! So are the armadillos, they sortta like possum on the half shell, know what I mean?

5) "A word or phrase that an outsider wouldn't understand." - Fixingta. As in "I'm fixingta go to town, wanna go?"

6) "Local boy or girl who made good." - Ross Perot did good.

7) "Gun laws" - Huh? Well, they do have some lousy ones that mostly get enforcement in Dallas/Ft. Worth and Austin, where political liberals are in total control.

8) "Biggest misconception the rest of us might have about your state" - That it is devoid of (mostly northern) political liberals that you seek to escape from. (They're like termites, ya know, they just burrow into most any large colony anywhere in the world.)

9) "The thing an outsider should never do" - Tell locals how ya did things back up north. They will immediatly, and strongly, suggest you go back if that's what ya want!

10) "Restaurant" - Billy Bob's.

Benning Boy 01-05-2010 04:11 PM

Good stuff. I heard Austin is the liberal hotbed.

How common are Armadillos?

Can one open carry in Texas?

Does everybody talk like the old guy on "Walker, Texas Ranger"?

Somebody told me scorpions abound in Texas. I spent a couple weeks there, never saw one.

cpttango30 01-05-2010 04:30 PM

Drillers are hell are Ford Escorts (Yeah I know) esp when you are 15 beers into a 6 pack and headed to the class six for more.

Troy Michalik 01-05-2010 04:53 PM

Alright Benning. You’ve just hit on one thing that any native Texan would be more than happy to tell you about, and while it difficult to name things like the best of anything, I’ll do MY best here.

1) Best indigenous food
-Texas smoked BBQ (brisket, ribs, sausage…)
-Tex-Mex (fajitas, …)

2) Biggest plus to living there
-Umm, it’s Texas!? But seriously, we’ve got every kind of geography here, coastal plains, hill country, deep piney woods, mountains, canyons, flat land prairies…. did I miss anything?

3) Biggest minus
-I’ll have to get back to you on this one.

4) Weirdest wildlife
-Either the Ocelot or Jaguarundi, which are both of the cat family. Bigger than a house cat but smaller than a Mountain Lion.

5) A word or phrase that an outsider wouldn't understand
-fixinta (verb) meaning - getting ready. “Hey, we’re fixinta go to the store. Need anything?”
-A soft drink is a “coke”. It’s not soda or pop.

6) Local boy or girl who made good.
-Too many to list really. Actors, musicians, sports, businessmen

7) Gun laws
-No open carry. After that, pretty much everything else goes (except for the federal stuff).

8) Biggest misconception the rest of us might have about your state
-Not everyone has oil wells or cattle or a ranch. We’re not all truck driving, red necks.

9) The thing an outsider should never do
-Absolutely, under no circumstances should you ever correct a Texan on the pronunciation of anything local (place, someone’s name, food, ect…)
-It is also extremely unadvisable to bring up how you did it (whatever it is) where you come from. We really don’t care how you do it “up north”. We aren’t “up north”. You’re here now, and this is how we do it here.

10) Restaurant
-Every place has “THE” place to go. Where I live there is The Roadhouse, a tiny little hamburger place that makes their own sweet sourdough buns. And just down the road is the Winchester Steakhouse in (where else) Winchester.

But I could never tell it as good as this: written by Bum Phillips, head coach of the Houston Oilers


Benning Boy 01-05-2010 05:06 PM

I've heard the "coke" thing before, so I road trip with some Texans, we stop at a convenience store, one jumps out and offers to get the beverages, what happens next? I want a Diet Mountain Dew.

Flat prarie is located next to what major city?

Are there cacti(?)?

Wheelspin 01-05-2010 05:18 PM

So what are the winters like in Texas, I'm guessing snow is rarer than a vegetarian at a BBQ cook off?

robocop10mm 01-05-2010 05:30 PM

I would add -
Biggest minus? Hablaing some Espanole is almost mandatory. We are on the front lines of the invasion.

Strangest animal? We have some world class spiders. Garden Spiders big enough to register weight on bathroom scales. Black widows and brown recluses are fairly common. Oh, and Jackalopes.

Word or phrase? Cold Beer is actually one word, coldbeer. Pack - give a ride to. "Pack me up to the store to get some coldbeer." And yes, every carbonated beverage is "Coke".

Local boy in the news recently - Drew Brees. If'n y'all don't know who he is, you are not allowed to come to Texas anyway.

Something an outsider should never do? Leave their vehicle license plates from California or New York or Massatoosits on their vehicle for longer than a week after moving here.

Armadillos are pretty common. Seeing a dead one on the side of the road with a Lone Star longneck propped up on its feet is common.

No open carry of handguns. Long guns are all but unrestricted. Now legal to keep a handgun in your vehicle w/o a CHL.

Scorpions are common in the rocky arid areas, not the moister climate of the Gulf Coast and East Texas Piney Woods. Where you have scorpions, you have black widows, period.

Austin/Travis County is the most liberal County in Texas. Has been since the 1860's. It may be the most liberal County in the South.

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