Only in NT would you find a story this insane. And the quotes are awesome
Stupidity gets man bitten 9 times by poisonous snake
King Brown snake, held by someone who isn't drunk
This incident from Darwin, Australia, makes one marvel at the limitless idiocy of homo sapiens.
According to a newspaper report, local resident Gordon Lyons had his left arm amputated after being bitten by a deadly snake nine times.
He said he almost died after his heart stopped thrice on the operating table. He spent seven weeks in a coma and was kept alive with a dialysis machine and ventilator after a king brown snake bit his left arm two months ago.
Lyons, who has still not regained movement in his legs, said doctors revived him three times on the operating table.
"I'm lucky to be here right now," he said.
"But I can't believe my arm's been chopped off just for one snake. I still have my life and I guess that's the important thing."
Lyons said he was bitten by the snake, considered to be one of the most venomous, after he picked it up from the side of the road near Litchfield, while driving with a friend.
Admitting to being drunk at the time, he said he remembered his friends at the local pub wanted something to put in their huge fish tank.
"But I made the stupid mistake of grabbing it with my left hand, because I was holding a beer in my right one. I had its head in my hand, but it got loose and grabbed the web of my left hand... its fangs were that big it ripped my hand open.
"I tore it off me and put it in a plastic bag and threw it in the back of the car.
"For some stupid reason, I stuck my hand back in the bag and it must have smelled blood, and it bit me another eight times."
Saying he began vomiting and suffering diarrhoea "about three seconds later", Lyons continued, "My mate was trying to keep me awake by whacking me in the head and pouring beer on me."
Lyons said his last memory was passing out, covered in blood, at a local hotel moments before being taken to the Royal Darwin Hospital.
A specialist physician at the hospital said the venom had caused severe damage to Lyon's muscles, which led to his left arm turning black and becoming "dead".
The doctor said, "Of all the snake bites in Australia I'm aware of, this man is the sickest to have ever survived."
Good pun, that, from the doc!
"But I made the stupid mistake of grabbing it with my left hand, because I was holding a beer in my right one..."
"For some stupid reason, I stuck my hand back in the bag and it must have smelled blood, and it bit me another eight times..."
"My mate was trying to keep me awake by whacking me in the head and pouring beer on me..."