"Skilled Care facilites".....aka nursing homes.........
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Old 10-16-2012, 05:42 AM   #1
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I'm a Ninjeti and I could take you all out with a stare.

This is the original post now, ha mods!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2U-ZQMf56I&feature=youtube_gdata_player

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Old 10-16-2012, 03:21 PM   #2
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!im not fond of em either, too many horror stories, far better to make a space in your own home, that's why i said retirement home as a LAST resort. It would be better than her living by herself.

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Old 10-16-2012, 07:57 PM   #3
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!im not fond of em either, too many horror stories, far better to make a space in your own home, that's why i said retirement home as a LAST resort. It would be better than her living by herself.
OKAY, here's a dose of reality:

Would you kindly fill us in on what you think

a "retirement home" costs?

Last I checked, WITHOUT any special services,

if you go down to the dining room for all your meals,

a room in one of these places is 60,000 PER YEAR ...
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Old 10-16-2012, 08:43 PM   #4
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Actually i do, my grandmother wanted to move to one after my grandfather died a couple years ago, instead i moved her in with me. I already stated that i deplore those places, i was simply listing off the choices to the ops question, so kindly get off your high horse and my back. Either add something usefull to the convo or move on.

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Old 10-17-2012, 01:22 AM   #5
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Karate is open hand and will be of limited usefulness, look for kung fu, hapkido, somwthing along those lines. Also tai chi can be good, great for balance, fitness, etc. But the better options are to have her move in with you (or other family member), or, as a last resort, a retirement home.
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Hahahaa, yeah, stick 'er in a "home". Nothing says I love you and thanks for my life like that!
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Originally Posted by phildenton View Post
!im not fond of em either, too many horror stories, far better to make a space in your own home, that's why i said retirement home as a LAST resort. It would be better than her living by herself.
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Originally Posted by therewolf View Post
OKAY, here's a dose of reality:

Would you kindly fill us in on what you think

a "retirement home" costs?

Last I checked, WITHOUT any special services,

if you go down to the dining room for all your meals,

a room in one of these places is 60,000 PER YEAR ...
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Originally Posted by phildenton View Post
Actually i do, my grandmother wanted to move to one after my grandfather died a couple years ago, instead i moved her in with me. I already stated that i deplore those places, i was simply listing off the choices to the ops question, so kindly get off your high horse and my back. Either add something usefull to the convo or move on.
I researched retirement communities for my "real" mom (my OP is regarding my stepmother) earlier this year and there are some pretty nice and affordable ones around here, from $2500 a month on up from there. If more assistance is needed some of them have increasing care all the way up to nursing and Hospice care (at additional cost). This is in one of the most expensive cost of living areas in the country. My brother ended up taking her in. It has been a learning experience for all of them (my brother has 4 kids ranging from 7 to 16 years old.) Some of the more expensive facilities actually might have been a better fit (I know several residents there, including my Godparents) but that one is a "buy-in" facility where you have to "buy" the apartment, but when the person passes on it is treated as real estate and can be sold by the heirs (they also pay a monthly fee in addition to the "buy in").

That having been said, I am not considering this for (step)- Mom at this time. She is fully able to care for herself and live on her own. Hopefully that will be the case for the rest of her life. She plans on being here in CA only 1/3 of the year, the other 2/3 will be in Washington and Missouri where she will be living with family in their homes.

I do appreciate the input, even if it does not necessarily work for our situation.
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Old 10-17-2012, 02:30 AM   #6
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Im glad to hear that you seem to have it handled.

If you do end up having to do the retirement home thing, remember, if it is a medicare certified facility, they will pay a portion of the costs.

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Old 10-17-2012, 09:51 PM   #7
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Actually i do, my grandmother wanted to move to one after my grandfather died a couple years ago, instead i moved her in with me. I already stated that i deplore those places, i was simply listing off the choices to the ops question, so kindly get off your high horse and my back. Either add something usefull to the convo or move on.
Sorry, did I point out the sordid fact that it's only an option

if you have about a half million dollars to throw away?

As I live and breathe, pardon me. I'm so sick and tired of

hearing this "Put her in a home." crap, by folks who obviously

haven't got a clue. My apologies...
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Old 10-17-2012, 10:43 PM   #8
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Sorry, did I point out the sordid fact that it's only an option

if you have about a half million dollars to throw away?

As I live and breathe, pardon me. I'm so sick and tired of

hearing this "Put her in a home." crap, by folks who obviously

haven't got a clue. My apologies...
There is also the option to bankrupt her and her estate to con the medicare people into paying for warehousing the wisdom.
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Old 10-18-2012, 06:50 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by therewolf View Post
Sorry, did I point out the sordid fact that it's only an option

if you have about a half million dollars to throw away?

As I live and breathe, pardon me. I'm so sick and tired of

hearing this "Put her in a home." crap, by folks who obviously

haven't got a clue. My apologies...
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There is also the option to bankrupt her and her estate to con the medicare people into paying for warehousing the wisdom.
OK, I have looked into this option in detail for my mother. We chose for her to move in with my brother instead but in my investigation I met dozens of elderly folks who live in these retirement communities and they would not want to live anywhere else!!!! Some of them (two couples immediately come to mind) said that they had tried living with family and they liked the "home" better. One of them had moved out of the "home" and in with their son and his family just a few miles away. They found that they were spending most all of their time visiting their friends over at the "home, so they moved back to the "home". The other couple had moved out and were still living with family, but were visiting their friends the day that Mom and I were checking out the place. I asked if they were going to move back and they kind of looked at each other and in an embarrassed sort of way said that they didn't want to because their kids they were living with wouldn't understand. They were sacrificing their own happiness for their kids. I suspect that they will one day move back.

All of these living arrangements were affordable for middle-class retirees and extremely pleasant. Mom could afford to live there for the rest of her life if she wanted to.

Now, I also have seen the hideous places, the ones where most of the residents are just waiting to die, and wasting away. Those places suck big time. My one grandmother spent her last years bouncing around from one to another. My Dad offered to take her in but she and my aunt were "in charge" and would not accept the offer. I was pretty young then so I didn't know all of the details about it, but I did visit her often and hated seeing here in those places.
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Old 10-18-2012, 07:07 AM   #10
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As the op has everything figured out can we close this thread.

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Last edited by phildenton; 10-19-2012 at 10:37 AM.
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