The Six Million Dollar Man
Firearm & Gun Forum - FireArmsTalk.com > General Discussion Forums > The Club House > The Six Million Dollar Man

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-18-2010, 02:53 PM   #1
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: everywhere
Posts: 9,639
Liked 9 Times on 9 Posts

Default The Six Million Dollar Man

A Huey hovers over the triple canopy of Panama. A solitary figure checks his line one more time, about to Aussie rappel into the dank, moist darkness of the jungle.

He had been to "The Ma" before, and had enemies here. But none as viscious as Tika.

Tika was the mate of Manuel, a proud monkey that was eaten by Col. Jack Austin during his last visit here. She howled as Jack bit into Manuel's head, and consumed him alive, rivulets of blood spraying into Jack's manly moustache.

Tika had ascended the Black Palm, and with an all too human glint in her eyes, defecated into her hand, and lobbed it onto the chopper skid undetected. As the Colonel stepped out, he slipped, went face first into the skid, and was knocked unconscious by the only man alive who could knock him out, himself.

With nobody on belay, he took a header into the darkness, catching tree limbs and hand sized thorns the whole way down, into oblivion....

__________________
Benning Boy is offline  
 
Reply With Quote

Join FirearmsTalk.com Today - It's Free!

Are you a firearms enthusiast? Then we hope you will join the community. You will gain access to post, create threads, private message, upload images, join groups and more.

Firearms Talk is owned and operated by fellow firearms enthusiasts. We strive to offer a non-commercial community to learn and share information.

Join FirearmsTalk.com Today! - Click Here


Old 06-18-2010, 02:59 PM   #2
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: everywhere
Posts: 9,639
Liked 9 Times on 9 Posts

Default

Groggy, our hero comes to for just a moment, amidst an acrid, antiseptic smell. His vision is obscured by the haze of the drugs and the gauze that covers his face.

Masks cover the faces of surgeons hovering over him, they're playing music in the O.R.

He recognizes the tune as Andrea True's "More, more, more", a favorite disco tune of his, only for the fact that Andrea was 70's adult cinema star, who kept her bits unshorn, and Jack had tapped it long ago. He smiled as he slipped back into oblivion....

__________________
Benning Boy is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 06-18-2010, 03:20 PM   #3
Administrator
FTF_ADMIN.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
notdku's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Hill Country,Texas
Posts: 5,563
Liked 698 Times on 387 Posts
Likes Given: 729

Default

What's this now?

__________________

Not Registered? Register now! - It's free and helps the community grow.

notdku is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 06-18-2010, 03:26 PM   #4
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 7,152
Liked 21 Times on 7 Posts

Default

Minor correction of fact. If I'm not mistaken, Jack Austin is a Sgt Major...

__________________
NGIB is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 06-18-2010, 03:26 PM   #5
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: everywhere
Posts: 9,639
Liked 9 Times on 9 Posts

Default

Jack sat in the recovery room, completely immobile. Not due to his extensive surgery, but due to the adamantium shackles that bound him.

Oscar Dillinger poked his head in the door. Satisfied that Jack was suitably restrained, he entered.

Dillinger was a former "Office" boy, a C.I.A. spook that got dirt on the highest ranking member of the land, and convinced him to allow Dillinger to start his own special ops agency, based in Wyoming. Only three people knew of The Agency of National Geoduck Observation, or that Dillinger was the Man from T.A.N.G.O.

"Hey, Jack," he smiled, resplendent in his Hugo double breasted.

"What's with the chains, sh!tbird?"

"Jack, you sustained some pretty serious injuries. I won't mince words, we replaced some of your parts with bionic substitutes."

Jack grinned. "Sweet! What do I have? Super powerful legs? Arms that I can do PT with all day?"

"Jack, that black plam was pretty nasty. You have a bionic moustache and Johnson."

A nurse dropped a tray of meds in the hall, startled by the scream.

__________________
Benning Boy is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 06-18-2010, 03:29 PM   #6
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: I see you, and you will not know when I will strike
Posts: 24,301
Liked 3478 Times on 1609 Posts
Likes Given: 3590

Default

*spitting water on the screen*

Man from T.A.N.G.O. - LMFAO!!!

How long have you been waiting to use that one, you Most Excellent Friend you?

This is going to be epic.....

__________________
Dillinger is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 06-18-2010, 03:29 PM   #7
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: everywhere
Posts: 9,639
Liked 9 Times on 9 Posts

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by NGIB View Post
Minor correction of fact. If I'm not mistaken, Jack Austin is a Sgt Major...
I thought SFC, but you have to be an officer to be an astronaut. Or rich.
__________________
Benning Boy is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 06-18-2010, 03:31 PM   #8
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: everywhere
Posts: 9,639
Liked 9 Times on 9 Posts

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by notdku View Post
What's this now?
I had a thread poll about recasting old T.V. shows with our guys. I said screw it, I'll just do them all, this is the first.
__________________
Benning Boy is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 06-18-2010, 03:32 PM   #9
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: everywhere
Posts: 9,639
Liked 9 Times on 9 Posts

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dillinger View Post
*spitting water on the screen*

Man from T.A.N.G.O. - LMFAO!!!

How long have you been waiting to use that one, you Most Excellent Friend you?

This is going to be epic.....
Just came to me, I never think these out, I just let them go.
__________________
Benning Boy is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 06-18-2010, 03:50 PM   #10
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: The woods,Arkansas
Posts: 3,415
Liked 2 Times on 2 Posts

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Benning Boy View Post
"Jack, that black plam was pretty nasty. You have a bionic moustache and Johnson."
Hairy vajayjays are in serious trouble, now!
__________________
suprdave is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Firearms Forum Replies Last Post
Million dollar insurance to own a gun ??? MrKimber Politics, Religion and Controversy 6 08-10-2010 04:58 PM
70 dollar rifle... m72law Curio & Relic Discussion 24 03-11-2010 12:35 AM
Dollar about to Collapse? notdku Politics, Religion and Controversy 8 10-06-2009 09:42 AM
New U.S. Dollar Coin!! dunerunner Politics, Religion and Controversy 5 09-24-2009 06:33 PM