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Old 09-19-2011, 05:38 PM   #21
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+1 an Alchemists post.

Trip, do not pay any attention to anyone else's advice. Just remember, you are the one that has to live with the results. It's easy for most people to five advice because they don't usually pay any sort of price.

Listen to your heart. Remember that respect is earned and that you can Love someone and not like them at the same time.

God bless you and your ohana.

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Old 09-19-2011, 06:08 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alchemist View Post

David Richo's "The Five Things We Cannot Change"...

(1) everything changes and ends,
(2) things do not always go according to plan,
(3) life is not always fair,
(4) pain is a part of life, and
(5) people are not loving and loyal all the time.

Blessings to you Trip286...
They forgot # 6....

"You can't fix stupid."

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+1 an Alchemists post.

Trip, do not pay any attention to anyone else's advice.
Then why post this in an open internet firearms forum of all places, if he wasn't fishing for some "advice/suggestions?"


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Listen to your heart. Remember that respect is earned and that you can Love someone and not like them at the same time.
Best "That's what I would do!" response right there!
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Old 09-19-2011, 06:29 PM   #23
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Then why post this in an open internet firearms forum of all places, if he wasn't fishing for some "advice/suggestions?"
I took it as meaning the other people who tell me to patch it up with him.
Don't know for sure it that's what he meant, but that's the way I took it.
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Old 09-19-2011, 08:20 PM   #24
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LoL. Yes, that's what I meant. I meant it to say that you shouldn't listen to people who TELL you what to do. Advice and suggestions are great but "you should really make up with him. After-all he is your dad!" kind of statements often come from people who don't know what it's like to be where you are.

But, just my $.02. Probably not worth any more than that. .

Aloha my friend. It's a tough place to be in for you. But, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?

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Old 09-20-2011, 05:17 PM   #25
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One more suggestion. When those folks tell you to patch things up with the old man, respond with something like "You would probably feel differently if you were me. Please respect my feelings and leave it alone." The more grace you show in handling those people will do you good.

And always remember that it is not you, it is him. If he were to pass on tomorrow you should have no regrets. You will undoubtedly question that, but from everything you have said so far I believe it to be true. I think you should as well.

The biggest danger in a poisonous familial relationship is that it will continue from generation to generation. I have seen that in my in-laws and their kids and for a long time it hurt me to no end, but I cannot change it so I let it go. We are much better off without them in my family's lives (does that make sense?) and the door is always open should they decide to make amends but I am done with trying to make amends from my end. It sounds like you are not allowing this sort of thing to be a part of your relationship with your wife and son, so that is good. But be aware of it always.

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Old 09-21-2011, 12:32 AM   #26
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You can choose your friends, relatives you are stuck with.

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Old 09-21-2011, 12:34 AM   #27
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You can choose your friends, relatives you are stuck with.
not anymore as far as I'm concerned. Yeah he's blood, but my Grandfather on paternal side and maternal side, plus my stepdad all taught me more about being a man than he was ever capable of.
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Old 09-21-2011, 12:59 AM   #28
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I m of one to give advice but this is the chain of events that would have to happen for me to patch things up.

1. VERY humble apologies to you and your family.
2. Addition apologies to your son
3. And finally a thank you for showing him how a real man loves and protects his family.

As far as others trying to convince you to patch things up...tell them to go pound sand. Then call them the next day and see if they are ready to apologize to you. Give them some perspective.

Good luck with your decision. I know these things are tough. Both mentally and emotionally draining.

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Old 09-21-2011, 01:04 AM   #29
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Rockhouse- I've pretty much made the decision, but thank you. I just wanted to get opinions from all these guys who I have mucho respect for, because so many people have treated me like I'm the one in the wrong for not being the one to make the first move.

Pretty much everyone here has been on my side, it's a pretty nice ego boost.

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Old 09-21-2011, 01:14 AM   #30
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LoL. I'm glad it was an ego boost but for me it wasn't about sides. You were in the right 100% of the way. If anything should be a boost it should be that you are indeed a wise and just man.

I can't say with any certainty, but I'm going to wager that your wife's message probably wasn't the wisest decision, but everyone is entitled to mistakes.

If I may ask, how is your family taking this? Wife and son I mean.

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