Sarge and Lt. Linda- the beginning
Sarge being just divorced by the red headed Vicki, is drowning his sorrows by helping all eligible female members of Parents Without Partners club forget their problems and unfulfilled desires. Realizing his unique gift of gab, uh counsel, his name is listed under the "Blues Line", a service to confused and befuddled members of the PWP.
And the phone rings.........
It is little Linda, she has a problem. One of the male members of the club has proposed to her and Linda being a cautious lady has checked this guy out.. And discovers that he is also engaged to her best friend Judy. She begs Sarge to help her and tell Judy about this 'dirty rat'. This Sarge could do for her but unfortunately Judy knows Sarge too well and would immediately suspect Sarge is trying to get rid of a rival. Sarge suggests that Linda, being Judy's best friend, she should tell Judy about this 'dirty rat'. Judy is too suspicious of everyone so there has to be a better way. Finally Sarge, being a man of vision not to mention a quick thinker, suggests that they both tell Judy about this 'dirty rat'. And to get her to believe them they can pretend to be going steady. Heh heh heh.
The night arrives and Sarge comes bopping up to Linda's house on his motorcycle. Little Linda looks out the door and exclaims,"We aren't going to ride on THAT thing are we?"
"Yes!" retorts Sarge, "Or we ain't a gonna go!" (your see, men on the first contact it is important to put your foot down.) But little Linda slams the door on poor Sarge and he shrugs and thinks, "Well I guess it is a good thing I didn't spend any money on her yet." And he goes to putting on his riding gear.
Then out the door comes Linda. Straight to her garage. "Oh rats" thinks Sarge, "She is going to drive her own car and follow me. This is going to be a lousy date." In less then 2 minutes she returns with her own motorcycle helmet and wearing a jacket that says 'Peacemakers Motorcycle Club' on the back. She hops on the scooter's 'ma'ma seat' and declares in her Alabama sweet voice, "Well Sarge are you-all gonna' to just stand there with yo mouth open or you gonna kick this thang started and we-uns gonna ride!"
"Hummmm" thinks Sarge, "This little gal is showing promise."
So the scene shifts to a PWP skating party with Sarge diligently attempting to 'pretend' to be going steady with Linda and she hard at work trying to keep his hands off various parts of her body. Finally they get Judy off to one side and inform her about this 'dirty rat' (the other guy not Sarge). Judy, however, explodes at nice guy Sarge and tongue lashes poor helpful Linda. Jumps up and stomps off. (as well as one can wearing roller skates) (actually she was so mad that she fell on her a$$)
"Well that is what you get for trying to be helpful" said Linda as she slapped Sarge's hand away from her leg.
As an addendum to this episode,Judy married the guy 'the dirty rat' and he promptly skipped to California with all her money and all the money of the three other women he was also married to:
Little Linda was so grateful for Sarge saving her from a fate worse than death that she reluctantly agrees to a second date, slaps him good bye and we end this Saga.
Tune in next week for Saga # 2 the truth life story of Sarge and Lt Linda.
Lil 'Linda' kicks ass :)
continue on 'Sir'; I want to hear about the 'heavy box':)
Sarge, I swear, your stories are awesome. Between you and Benning I don't think I'll ever have to read a book for enjoyment ever again. You two are the best story tellers.
I'll be waiting for part 2
The Stolen Rifle.
I have another "box" story coming up.
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