I've told it before, and I'm sure I'll tell it a few hundred more times...
When I was a kid ( A young one, not the one I am now) a local radio station close by the Canadian border in NY broadcast a report of NORAD detecting something heading South from the DEW line one Christmas eve. Dad's work truck had a radio in it, and it wasn't long before he burst through the door telling us all to get ready because the Russians were attacking. Totally freaked out, and convinced the balloon had gone up. A couple of years later, the car that he and his buddies were in went through the ice on the St. Lawrence River following a day of ice-fishing, and he survived that, too!
"Guns don't kill people. Male Kennedy's kill people."