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Old 03-17-2013, 11:40 PM   #651
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She's great with money and she also works and brings in enough to almost cover the mortgage and she carries the insurance so its not all bad. All I'm saying is I don't want to feel like I'm under a microscope especially with money. The self centered thing is my fault totally, I don't spend enough time with my wife or daughtet and I am easily annoyed with both of them ....... they just talk so dam much
Sounds a bit like your stuck in a rut. Not sure how old you are but, sometimes things change with age. Also DO NOT have another child have some friends and family that did that and it always makes things worse. Try to be patient with both and enjoy the little while she's still that way. They grow fast and you can't make up that time. I would try a few of the other suggestions of helping with chores and flowers and talk to her, not tell her about maybe doing counseling and how it's for ALL of you. Good luck, I hope you can work things out.
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Old 03-17-2013, 11:43 PM   #652
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If you feel your child is an annoyance, you will convey that feeling to her and blow her self esteem. Children need to feel they are valuable, important, loved, wanted and respected. I don't treat a child with any less respect than I would treat an adult. She's a person, too. She loves you and wants to spend time with you. On the other hand, it's okay to tell her you're busy right now and you need quite to think. I sometimes tell my granddaughter I can't play with her right then because I have work to finish up. When I'm done with my chores, I'll play with her.

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Old 03-17-2013, 11:44 PM   #653
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Its the little one. I try hard but dam man she's a lot to listen to
Enjoy her while she's young, they grow up much too soon! In the winter I usually get laid off (foreman at a roofing company in WI) so I get to spend my days with my now 3 1/2 and 5 yr old daughters. Even though they can drive me ape sh*t nuts on a semi regular basis, I wouldn't trade it for the world! I feel blessed that I have been able to be partially responsible for their raising. Children are a blessing not a curse. I only wish my wife would spend more time with them.
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Old 03-18-2013, 12:31 AM   #654
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Originally Posted by trip286 View Post
Yeah they are. But they're like some other people too, a simple "yeah, mhmm" works nicely sometimes.
My Dad still does that to me.

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She's a child man, not an adult. Children learn through doing and expressing themselves. You should more than likely encourage her to express herself. To let her be who she is and to bring her inner self out. In time, especially if she is young, she'll grow out of whatever phase she's in now and move onto the next one. On the other hand a child needs to learn discipline, to know what is socially acceptable and what is not. This can be taught through a gentle, guiding and loving hand. Kids are a joy, enjoy them while they are innocent because before you know it, you're gonna have a teenager on your hands and that's a whole new ballgame.
Yeah and we don't tell you what teenage girl do, they're freaking insane...
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Old 03-18-2013, 12:36 AM   #655
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Yeah and we don't tell you what teenage girl do, they're freaking insane...
Yup, but they grow up to be beautiful young women.
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Old 03-18-2013, 12:37 AM   #656
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Yup, but they grow up to be beautiful young women.
We're actually crazy too
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Old 03-18-2013, 12:42 AM   #657
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We're actually crazy too
I can only base it on my daughter, but you may be right...
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Old 03-18-2013, 12:51 AM   #658
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Rurak, I know your pain. I am in the same boat. I recently started a new job (on top of having my own businesses) and opened a new bank account in my name only. All of my paychecks go in there only, and if my wife, who has done all of the finances to date, needs any money beyond what our businesses bring in, she has to ask me for it. I will pay those bills out of my account and keep the records of every penny spent. I am working my way towards being completely independent of her. She also refuses to go to counseling, and other than once in awhile during an argument when she says that she admits she is partially responsible for the state our marriage is in, she takes no responsibility for it. I have made many, many personal changes to myself, in addition to having some major life changing events happen, for instance my closest friend and companion, my father, passed away on September 6th, just a week or so after I quit drinking. I have had one single glass of wine since I quit (and my wife gave me Holy Hell when we got home afterwards- saying that I had "broken her trust", and that I had "ruined my sobriety, but while we were at dinner ordering she said and did nothing to indicate that a glass of wine was verboten.

Anyhow, I have continued to make major efforts, doing many things and trying many things, in an effort to change. But she is still insistent that I will have to leave. But, I am not going anywhere. For one, the spouse who leaves is seen to be "abandoning" the family. Thats how the court will see it. I figure I will set up all of my ducks in a row and stay here in the house till the bitter end. We have two teenage boys- 15.5 and 17- and I want them to be 18 before I go anywhere. I hope to be able to get myself into a property that I can eventually move onto, and perhaps rent out until then, and work on it with that goal in mind. That is my hope anyhow.

And no sex? Try 3 years. One day she just said no more, and that was the last time.

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Old 03-18-2013, 01:03 AM   #659
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Wow viking I'm sorry to hear about everything. Marriage is a challenge and for aome its harder than others

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Old 03-18-2013, 01:18 AM   #660
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Unfortunately and quite sadly........

"You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run."

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