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Old 12-04-2012, 12:57 PM   #441
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Im not saying its all her but she minimizes my issues all the time.
Rurak,
There is a lot to all this. Only you know what is really going on. And it's possible that you may not know all that's going on - if things have changed greatly at some point in the marriage - that is a clue - to start looking for other clues.

Counseling can be good - but it also can be very bad if the counselor is not good - or the wife (in this case) saw the counselor first and built a rapport and friendship with the counselor - so that the counselor favors the wife. That is what happened to me - and I didn't know it until it happened.

About the buying guns resistance - she may be viewing that the same way men view women constantly buying new shoes or ... Except that they cost a lot more and so are more damaging to a budget and could be causing the family to live a a lower level of comfort to support the buying. I can see how that could develop into a real issue - and resentment - especially if not discussed and worked out.
Lack of discussion is an absolute killer in a marriage - the longer it goes on the greater the resentments build - until they are so enormous that just about any little thing sets off an argument. Talking is extremely important...

But in the final analysis you have to ask yourself if you are better off with her - or better off without her. Then move on that.
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Old 12-04-2012, 02:36 PM   #442
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Thanks for the advice. Ive had a lot of problems in my life but this is by far the hardest one for me. I love her and she loves me but sometimes thats not enough. In the past i have let my parents ruin some special moments for her and i and that is one of our biggest issues. Im working on it but the damage in the past cannot be undone. Only time will tell if things are going to work out.

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Old 12-04-2012, 03:31 PM   #443
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Man it sounds real similar to some things I've gone through. I'm sure all of us with a prior relationship can relate. I feel for you man.

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Old 12-04-2012, 04:26 PM   #444
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Originally Posted by rurak
Thanks for the advice. Ive had a lot of problems in my life but this is by far the hardest one for me. I love her and she loves me but sometimes thats not enough. In the past i have let my parents ruin some special moments for her and i and that is one of our biggest issues. Im working on it but the damage in the past cannot be undone. Only time will tell if things are going to work out.
Did you ever fix the problem with your dad? Is this causing the problem now?
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Old 12-04-2012, 04:41 PM   #445
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Something that really rubbed me the wrong way once was when my ex girlfriends dilusional mom said I was irresponsible because I went back to a previous job. I had quit working at KFC to take a construction job, which didn't work out, then went back to cook at KFC because I had bills. Of course at the time I was still in school so the only bills I had was auto insurance and my truck payment. But I was irresponsible...rolleyes!

Her family was weird anyways, they claimed to be very religious. She took me to meet her grandparents one night, her dad's parents btw. After dinner we sat down in the livingroom with the tv on and her grandpa was cruising the channels looking for something to watch when he came across CSI. They watched it for awhile til one of the characters said something about semen in the backseat of a car then they went ballistic and changed the channel saying they couldn't watch something with content like that but (here's why I think they are dilusional) its ok for thier son to molest his daughter? Where's the logic in that?

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Old 12-04-2012, 04:45 PM   #446
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Something that really rubbed me the wrong way once was when my ex girlfriends dilusional mom said I was irresponsible because I went back to a previous job. I had quit working at KFC to take a construction job, which didn't work out, then went back to cook at KFC because I had bills. Of course at the time I was still in school so the only bills I had was auto insurance and my truck payment. But I was irresponsible...rolleyes!

Her family was weird anyways, they claimed to be very religious. She took me to meet her grandparents one night, her dad's parents btw. After dinner we sat down in the livingroom with the tv on and her grandpa was cruising the channels looking for something to watch when he came across CSI. They watched it for awhile til one of the characters said something about semen in the backseat of a car then they went ballistic and changed the channel saying they couldn't watch something with content like that but (here's why I think they are dilusional) its ok for thier son to molest his daughter? Where's the logic in that?
Sounds like the were liberal white trash hypocrites
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Old 12-04-2012, 05:44 PM   #447
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Sounds like the were liberal white trash hypocrites
They were hypocrites alright
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Old 12-04-2012, 05:47 PM   #448
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They were hypocrites alright
My current girl's grandparents are that way-except they are hypocrites of each other and opposite things.....like me. Grandpa likes me alot, grandma thinks I'm a lazy worthless sumbit$h-her exact words to my face.
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Old 12-05-2012, 04:50 PM   #449
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I'm both of those things... But I'm not insecure because I'm pretty sure I'm awesome, it doesn't bug me. Like winds said, as long you don't make a scene, or a comment, I don't care much
Sheeeeit , I'd just glance because thewoman would be in close proximity and I didnt want to run into her. After a while I just got really familiar with the tops of my shoes. I just didnt wanna hear it . : / I'm glad those days are long over with .

I kinda dig being alone. I actually get to be me !
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Old 12-05-2012, 04:54 PM   #450
Ain't she sweet?
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Sheeeeit , I'd just glance because thewoman would be in close proximity and I didnt want to run into her. After a while I just got really familiar with the tops of my shoes. I just didnt wanna hear it . : / I'm glad those days are long over with .

I kinda dig being alone. I actually get to be me !
There are definitely benefits to being alone. But there is much to be said for a partnership with a good mate.
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