[partdeux]

Originally Posted by winds-of-change

Women are very different than men when it comes to sex. Most women need to feel an emotional connection.

what fun is there in that?

[dragunovsks]

Originally Posted by rurak

We continually tell each other what we want...... seems like nothing ever changes

I know how ya feel...the two of us are rowing the same boat. Everytime I say anything about it I'm just a pervert. Been about 4 months BTW....

[Gonzilla]

Brother you are not alone. I took a few courtship & marriage classes at ASU. The prof said couples have been married for over 30 years and still have "issues" w love life. I honestly didn't believe him when I first heard it, then like all PSY classes, you start reading the case histories...

Companionship inventory - sounds like the basic marriage prep classes most churches make you take prior to walking down the isle. They are designed to avoid the Vegas wedding blues, teach communication & conflict mgt skills.

Communication breakdown was the No. 1 cause of divorce in the US or at least is was in 1987 when I graduated. Believe it or not, people can have a hard time expressing what they want - especially anything of a sexual nature.

If you are not happy (for whatever reason), she has a legitimate need to know. Women are not mind readers and she can't fix what she does not know is broken. If she will not or chooses not to listen, that is another issue.

Counseling may well be necessary and Investing in your marriage is a lot cheaper than a divorce. Then again, it's just my .02

[Vikingdad]

Originally Posted by winds-of-change

Women are very different than men when it comes to sex. Most women need to feel an emotional connection.

Well screw that!

[trip286]

Originally Posted by Gonzilla

Communication breakdown was the No. 1 cause of divorce in the US or at least is was in 1987 when I graduated....

Times have changed old timer
My lawyer told me that the number one cause is money trouble, and that the number one growing cause is "social media conduct". Like when you air all your dirty laundry on facebook, or like my ex, use facebook and gaming networks to set up multiple rendezvous for extramarital affairs.

[Zombiegirl]

Originally Posted by Vikingdad

Well screw that!

Screw??? Pun intended?

[Cinderocka1989]

Originally Posted by Gonzilla

Brother you are not alone. I took a few courtship & marriage classes at ASU. The prof said couples have been married for over 30 years and still have "issues" w love life. I honestly didn't believe him when I first heard it, then like all PSY classes, you start reading the case histories...

Companionship inventory - sounds like the basic marriage prep classes most churches make you take prior to walking down the isle. They are designed to avoid the Vegas wedding blues, teach communication & conflict mgt skills.

Communication breakdown was the No. 1 cause of divorce in the US or at least is was in 1987 when I graduated. Believe it or not, people can have a hard time expressing what they want - especially anything of a sexual nature.

If you are not happy (for whatever reason), she has a legitimate need to know. Women are not mind readers and she can't fix what she does not know is broken. If she will not or chooses not to listen, that is another issue.

Counseling may well be necessary and Investing in your marriage is a lot cheaper than a divorce. Then again, it's just my .02

Companionship inventory is actually something missionaries do, ever notice when you see Mormon missionaries there are always two of them? They have to live together and they're expected to get along.

[Cinderocka1989]

Here's something else I've learned, well, two things...

The more you do for another person, the more you grow to love that person. I know this from personal experience,about 4 years ago my little brother wrecked his dirt bike, he spent six weeks in a wheelchair, there was very little he could do for himself, I spent six weeks doing everything I could for him, I played Halo with him almost every day for six weeks, I hate video games, after that he got a bone infection, I helped my Mom give him antibiotics through a pickline any time I could. Honestly, I love my little brother more than anyone else in my family

That being said, it has to be mutual, I had this concept explained to me as the emotional bank account, sometimes you ask someone for something and that's like a withdrawal sometimes you do something for someone and that's like a deposit, you can't continually draw on that account or eventually there will be nothing left. Here's where the companionship inventory comes in, you have to talk to each other but you have to be willing to WORK and FIX the problems, you can talk all you want but it isn't going to help unless you're willing to work out the issues you discuss.

I'll step down from my soapbox now, Sunday school is over carry on...

[Vikingdad]

Originally Posted by Cinderocka1989

Here's something else I've learned, well, two things...

The more you do for another person, the more you grow to love that person. I know this from personal experience,about 4 years ago my little brother wrecked his dirt bike, he spent six weeks in a wheelchair, there was very little he could do for himself, I spent six weeks doing everything I could for him, I played Halo with him almost every day for six weeks, I hate video games, after that he got a bone infection, I helped my Mom give him antibiotics through a pickline any time I could. Honestly, I love my little brother more than anyone else in my family

That being said, it has to be mutual, I had this concept explained to me as the emotional bank account, sometimes you ask someone for something and that's like a withdrawal sometimes you do something for someone and that's like a deposit, you can't continually draw on that account or eventually there will be nothing left. Here's where the companionship inventory comes in, you have to talk to each other but you have to be willing to WORK and FIX the problems, you can talk all you want but it isn't going to help unless you're willing to work out the issues you discuss.

I'll step down from my soapbox now, Sunday school is over carry on...

OK, so why is it that over time one partner in a relationship starts to resent the things that the other partner does for them? Is it that they are not reciprocating?

And in a parent/child relationship the parent always will be giving far more than the child does, at least until the child becomes an adult and roles are reversed (though this reversal does not by any means always happen).

[racer_x]

my wifes hair in my brush i cant stand it lol and the toothpaste thing glad im not alone i go from the bottom she wants the middle.

my second run at it too, its all about give an take on both sides!!