Quote:
Originally Posted by Zombiegirl
He will fall asleep watching TV at 6:00 and then expect to play video games all night. If you can't stay awake during "my time", you don't need to be up playing video games......you obviously need to go to bed early.
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This is going to be the typical guy/girl paradox, but more here's a top 20 list, numbered in order of importance.
1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Do not ask us. We refuse to answer.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
1. Do not cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair.
1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as custom trigger jobs, the shotgun formation, and kinky sex
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really.
1. You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
1. No, we do not know what day it is. We never will. We remember dates like you remember to change the oil in your car or check your tire pressure. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your hand bag?
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
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