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Old 03-24-2014, 12:41 PM   #34261
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Yesterday morning a drunk driver ran the red light and T-boned my jeep. It's going to jeep heaven.

My back is going to therapy.

Again.


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Old 03-24-2014, 03:18 PM   #34262
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Drunk driver ? roast his ass !
I kinda hate to admit this but since mom died I seem to care alot less about little things and some may link that to me being a Ahole .
My wife has befriended a old friend of mine from high school who has a farm and her husband is a total D-head so they get together and man hate while the kids play I guess . I have always tried to distance myself from this chick b/c of her wildly over active emotions and plus 2 she beats me up everytime I get around her .
Well last night she calls kinda late and is freaking hysterical , I could hear her across the room saying she killed something . Thinking '' Oh yea ! she snapped " lol .
She killed her cow b/c he was sick , a great big angus bull ! I almost fell out of the sofa laughing so hard . Wife wanted to go over and help her move him
Babe ....... You are about as clueless as she is , you need a dang back hoe to move that joker , there is 100% absolutely NOTHING you 2 can do to move that cow .
To make it worse he took out the fence and got tangled on his way to green pasture in the sky .
Just seeing them 2 get so worked up over a COW just got to me .
If you are not prepared to deal with this kinda stuff on a farm , you dont need one . If you want to be Miss Ruby Rancher you had better have your big girl panties on and step up to the plate , its real work , its not a dam* fashion statement .
me digging out the cutting tools and stones got me pinched pretty hard , when she mentioned it was sick I put them away again , sad and heart broken.
Wife went off on me saying I would not care if our pets died , Not true but I also will not go broke to keep them alive , when it comes to our lively hood or theirs , I'll get the shovel and start digging

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Old 03-24-2014, 03:35 PM   #34263
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That reminded me of a good one

Got a call from my ex wife, back when we were still married and I was working on the pipeline in texas, while she was living with god knows who in north carolina...

She was cleaning our fish tank. Called me in a dead panic, because Cosmo, my prize male beta (I was breeding his pretty ass. He was my fish ho) jumped out of the net and went into the garbage disposal in the sink! She could hear him flopping around...

I told her, "baby, calm down. Here's what you do... see the switch for the garbage disposal?..." And I hear the garbage disposal turn on.

"oh my god you made me kill him you ****ing *******!" And she just broke down sobbing.

"no... I was going to tell you to hit the safety lockout on the switch before sticking your hand in there to fish him out, dammit."

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Old 03-24-2014, 11:56 PM   #34264
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The handrail of an escalator always moves faster than the steps...

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Old 03-25-2014, 02:14 AM   #34265
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The handrail of an escalator always moves faster than the steps...
I have noticed that.
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Old 03-25-2014, 02:18 AM   #34266
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That reminded me of a good one

Got a call from my ex wife, back when we were still married and I was working on the pipeline in texas, while she was living with god knows who in north carolina...

She was cleaning our fish tank. Called me in a dead panic, because Cosmo, my prize male beta (I was breeding his pretty ass. He was my fish ho) jumped out of the net and went into the garbage disposal in the sink! She could hear him flopping around...

I told her, "baby, calm down. Here's what you do... see the switch for the garbage disposal?..." And I hear the garbage disposal turn on.

"oh my god you made me kill him you ****ing *******!" And she just broke down sobbing.

"no... I was going to tell you to hit the safety lockout on the switch before sticking your hand in there to fish him out, dammit."
When I had a garbage disposal, there was exactly NOTHING that could ever fall in it that would cause me to reach inside to fish it out.
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"Then tell me this: Why would you want to hang around people that get uncomfortable, or even scared, about that kind of thing?" "Maybe to feel normal," I said. He laughed. "Normal's not all it's cracked up to be." "You think?" "Hell, I know." - from Spirits In The Wires, by Charles de Lint.

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Old 03-25-2014, 05:00 AM   #34267
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Originally Posted by trip286 View Post
That reminded me of a good one

Got a call from my ex wife, back when we were still married and I was working on the pipeline in texas, while she was living with god knows who in north carolina...

She was cleaning our fish tank. Called me in a dead panic, because Cosmo, my prize male beta (I was breeding his pretty ass. He was my fish ho) jumped out of the net and went into the garbage disposal in the sink! She could hear him flopping around...

I told her, "baby, calm down. Here's what you do... see the switch for the garbage disposal?..." And I hear the garbage disposal turn on.

"oh my god you made me kill him you ****ing *******!" And she just broke down sobbing.

"no... I was going to tell you to hit the safety lockout on the switch before sticking your hand in there to fish him out, dammit."
Perhaps a follow-up comment would have been appropriate. such as "What are you, ****ing BLIND???? Last time I checked only blind people need to see with their ****ing hands!!!!!"
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Old 03-25-2014, 05:01 AM   #34268
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When I had a garbage disposal, there was exactly NOTHING that could ever fall in it that would cause me to reach inside to fish it out.
I have no trouble reaching into the disposal as long as I am the only one within reach of the switch. Call me crazy.....
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- Mohandas Gandhi, an Autobiography, page 446.
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Old 03-25-2014, 05:04 AM   #34269
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I have no trouble reaching into the disposal as long as I am the only one within reach of the switch. Call me crazy.....
If you're crazy then I am, too. I have no problem reaching down into the garbage disposal when it's off. I do it fairly often, in fact. Little things fall in there like caps to bottles, etc. I just reach in and take it out. *shrugs*
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Old 03-25-2014, 05:15 AM   #34270
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I have no trouble reaching into the disposal as long as I am the only one within reach of the switch. Call me crazy.....
I wouldn't either, but I can't fit my hand in the drain! I end up twisting the sucker off from underneath!
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