[trip286]

Your no longer allowed to tell jokes after I've had Mexican food, mmkay?

[yayamamasami]

One day a "community activist" was digging through his office drawers when suddenly he came upon a magic lamp. (Oh, c'mon, I'm sure there's one buried in your desk too.) Since he'd heard these jokes before, he knew that he had to rub the lamp and make the genie come out. So he rubbed the lamp and -- oh, surprise -- out popped a genie.
The genie asked, as genies will, “What is your first wish?” The "community activist" thought about it for a second, then replied, “I would like to be rich!” So the genie granted him his wish, and poof the man was surrounded by piles of money rivaling the heaps of even Martha Stewart and Bill Gates.
Since the "community activist" knew the whole wish process, the genie didn't even have to ask for number two before he said, “My second wish is to be on an island with beautiful women surrounding me and obeying my every command!” And poof, he was there.
Then the "community activist" -- or, as I like to call him, civil servant -- decided on his third wish, “I don't want to do any work ever again!” and poof -- ubiquitous ironic twist -- he was back in his office.

[yayamamasami]

Originally Posted by Vikingdad

Saw a new Mexican food place opened up. Name?

NACHO MAMA'S

It is my honor to serve! 🇺🇸

[yayamamasami]

Originally Posted by DFlynt

Thank you!

Jeepers!! I'm sorry! I guess I didn't do that right the first time. My apologies.

[yayamamasami]

One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story.
Little Suzy raises her hand. "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."
When the teacher asked for the moral of the story, Suzy replied, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."
Little Lucy went next. "My dad owns a farm too. Every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only eight of the 12 eggs hatched.";
Again, the teacher asked for the moral of the story.
Lucy replied, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch."
Next up was little Johnny. "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war, and his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed but could only take a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way down, he drank the case of beer. Then he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but then he ran out of bullets! So he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. Then the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands."
The teacher looked a little shocked. After clearing her throat, she asked what possible moral there could be to this story.
"Well," Johnny replied, "Don't mess with Uncle Ted when he's been drinking."

[winds-of-change]

Originally Posted by yayamamasami

Hey there, winds!!!

I've been serving my country!!

Thank you.

And I sure missed you, Yomama. I thought you were one of those members who signs up, posts like crazy for a month or two then disappears. I'm so glad you're back. Keep making me laugh.

[yayamamasami]

It did seem that way, I guess. I'm back, hopefully for good now. I guess that's on Uncle Sugar, though.

[NitroxAZ]

Cleaning the garage and yardwork. YEEHAW!!!

[kytowboater]

On my way to Pennsylvania, taking 9 barges up. Never been there.

[MobileMarine]

Score , Even if it dont pay cash , being in the knowing folks business does pay off sometimes .
Bye Bye 6hp golf cart motor and hello 16hp vanguard
Customer gave it to me b/c it wont run right . Might have something to do with not being able to see the cooling fins from the grease and gunk making it overheat