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Old 03-16-2013, 09:34 PM   #22941
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Originally Posted by texaswoodworker
You don't really know MM do you? He IS bad juju's BEOTCH. He has a lot of bad luck.
There fixed it for you.
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Old 03-16-2013, 09:46 PM   #22942
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Originally Posted by MobileMarine View Post
F YOU TURBOTAX !
Me and my wife are alive and well , we are not dead , why must you say we are dead when you transmit but not when I preview ?!!?!?!?!??!?!
2 hrs dicking around with customer service and them idiots know less about taxes than I do . PISSED , I mean a level of pissed off I have never been before in my life !

Go ahead gello , laugh it up buddy
So, did i ever tell you about my friend who did her return, got a NICE refund, and spent it? She did it on TT and somehow ended up with a multimillion dollar adjustment for an original issue discount on the bottom of page one. Yep, the Infernal Revenue Service noticed and took quite an interest in her work. I remain certain that she didn't enter that number on page one.
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Old 03-16-2013, 10:00 PM   #22943
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Originally Posted by yayamamasami View Post
One day a "community activist" was digging through his office drawers when suddenly he came upon a magic lamp. (Oh, c'mon, I'm sure there's one buried in your desk too.) Since he'd heard these jokes before, he knew that he had to rub the lamp and make the genie come out. So he rubbed the lamp and -- oh, surprise -- out popped a genie.
The genie asked, as genies will, “What is your first wish?” The "community activist" thought about it for a second, then replied, “I would like to be rich!” So the genie granted him his wish, and poof the man was surrounded by piles of money rivaling the heaps of even Martha Stewart and Bill Gates.
Since the "community activist" knew the whole wish process, the genie didn't even have to ask for number two before he said, “My second wish is to be on an island with beautiful women surrounding me and obeying my every command!” And poof, he was there.
Then the "community activist" -- or, as I like to call him, civil servant -- decided on his third wish, “I don't want to do any work ever again!” and poof -- ubiquitous ironic twist -- he was back in his office.
My favorite magic lamp joke is the one about the libertarian veteran who found one on the beach. The Genie who popped out announced himself as "The people's genie, servant of Islam and the proletariat"; this didn't sit perfectly with the libertarian veteran who had fought some Islamic extremists during his service and whose own father had fought the spread of communism in Vietnam. He spit at the Genie who just laughed and announced that all true followers of Islam and all true Communists would receive TWICE the blessings he would be forced to heap on this insolent libertarian. He wished for an end to the possibility of a "one world bank" and poof all paper currency not backed by mineral wealth vanished into ash. He was overjoyed but immediately very concerned about all of the mineral wealth of the Middle East. For his second wish, he wished for a bevy of hedonistic females to hang out with, no strings attached of course; POOF, a crowd of interesting and beautiful women suddenly surrounded him, happily. He felt a bit ill thinking of all the harems the Islamists and Communists of the world had just received. He could only imagine the mistreatment of the harems by the Islamic fundamentalists and the hard work awaiting the newly communist harems. For wish number three, he looked the Genie dead in the eye, took a deep breath and said "beat me half to death Genie".


(yes, i adapted it)
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Old 03-16-2013, 10:04 PM   #22944
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Originally Posted by orangello

My favorite magic lamp joke is the one about the libertarian veteran who found one on the beach. The Genie who popped out announced himself as "The people's genie, servant of Islam and the proletariat"; this didn't sit perfectly with the libertarian veteran who had fought some Islamic extremists during his service and whose own father had fought the spread of communism in Vietnam. He spit at the Genie who just laughed and announced that all true followers of Islam and all true Communists would receive TWICE the blessings he would be forced to heap on this insolent libertarian. He wished for an end to the possibility of a "one world bank" and poof all paper currency not backed by mineral wealth vanished into ash. He was overjoyed but immediately very concerned about all of the mineral wealth of the Middle East. For his second wish, he wished for a bevy of hedonistic females to hang out with, no strings attached of course; POOF, a crowd of interesting and beautiful women suddenly surrounded him, happily. He felt a bit ill thinking of all the harems the Islamists and Communists of the world had just received. He could only imagine the mistreatment of the harems by the Islamic fundamentalists and the hard work awaiting the newly communist harems. For wish number three, he looked the Genie dead in the eye, took a deep breath and said "beat me half to death Genie".

(yes, i adapted it)
Now that there is FUNNY!!!!!
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Old 03-16-2013, 10:52 PM   #22945
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Upon looking at the weather, I'm tempted on calling into work and telling them I'm dead so can't go in tonight.
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Old 03-16-2013, 11:00 PM   #22946
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Originally Posted by kytowboater View Post
On my way to Pennsylvania, taking 9 barges up. Never been there.
Not sure, but I think you just follow the river...

P.S. This from someone who has spent 30 hours in the international travel system who usually has a firm command of the obvious...
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Old 03-16-2013, 11:08 PM   #22947
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Not sure, but I think you just follow the river...

P.S. This from someone who has spent 30 hours in the international travel system who usually has a firm command of the obvious...

And in the words of Jimmy Buffett "Keep it between the channel markers!"
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Old 03-16-2013, 11:13 PM   #22948
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Originally Posted by texaswoodworker View Post
You don't really know MM do you? He IS bad juju. He has a lot of bad luck.
I'm pretty sure it isn't bad luck...
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Old 03-17-2013, 12:24 AM   #22949
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DFlynt

And in the words of Jimmy Buffett "Keep it between the channel markers!"
Lmao glad I'm not driving! Love the part of my job that I get to see places most don't. From angles many never will.
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Old 03-17-2013, 01:13 AM   #22950
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Originally Posted by orangello View Post
So, did i ever tell you about my friend who did her return, got a NICE refund, and spent it? She did it on TT and somehow ended up with a multimillion dollar adjustment for an original issue discount on the bottom of page one. Yep, the Infernal Revenue Service noticed and took quite an interest in her work. I remain certain that she didn't enter that number on page one.
I don't understand what you're saying here. Further explanation, please?

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I'm pretty sure it isn't bad luck...
Agreed.

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Lmao glad I'm not driving! Love the part of my job that I get to see places most don't. From angles many never will.
I agree. I love seeing the pictures you post of the sights you see on the boat.

How do you get to Pennsylvania on the Mississippi?
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