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Old 03-16-2013, 12:18 PM   #22921
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MM, you aren't the only one that has seen these blue lights...

Strange Blue Light Mystery Stories:

http://www.yourghoststories.com/real-ghost-story.php?story=3001

http://paranormal.about.com/od/spooklights_and_ball_lightning/a/tales_11_03_11t.htm

http://tribes.tribe.net/silverthorns/thread/e4887ddd-a8e7-46a8-856b-dc3a5b451f08

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Old 03-16-2013, 02:10 PM   #22922
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A police officer pulls over a driver and informs him that he has just won $5,000 in a safety competition, all because he is wearing his seat belt.

"What are you going to do with the prize money?" the officer asks.

The man responds, "I guess I'll go to driving school and get my license."

His wife says, "Officer, don't listen to him. He's a smart aleck when he's drunk."

The guy in the back seat pops up out from under the blanket and says, "I knew we wouldn't get far in this stolen car."

Just then a knock comes from the trunk and a voice calls out, "Are we over the border yet?"

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Old 03-16-2013, 02:16 PM   #22923
Ain't she sweet?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yayamamasami View Post
A police officer pulls over a driver and informs him that he has just won $5,000 in a safety competition, all because he is wearing his seat belt.

"What are you going to do with the prize money?" the officer asks.

The man responds, "I guess I'll go to driving school and get my license."

His wife says, "Officer, don't listen to him. He's a smart aleck when he's drunk."

The guy in the back seat pops up out from under the blanket and says, "I knew we wouldn't get far in this stolen car."

Just then a knock comes from the trunk and a voice calls out, "Are we over the border yet?"

Very funny.

Where the heck have you been? I've been kind of missing your humour around here.
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Old 03-16-2013, 02:19 PM   #22924
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Hey there, winds!!!

I've been serving my country!!

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Old 03-16-2013, 04:02 PM   #22925
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Hey there, winds!!!

I've been serving my country!!
Thank you!
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“Somebody has to speak for these people. Y'all got on this boat for different reasons, but y'all come to the same place. So now I'm asking more of you than I have before. Maybe all. Sure as I know anything, I know this—they will try again. Maybe on another world, maybe on this very ground swept clean. A year from now, ten? They'll swing back to the belief that they can make people...better. And I do not hold to that. So no more runnin'. I aim to misbehave.” Mal Reynolds Serenity/Firefly

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Old 03-16-2013, 04:22 PM   #22926
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Saw a new Mexican food place opened up. Name?


NACHO MAMA'S

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Old 03-16-2013, 04:50 PM   #22927
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Yeah, it's a Mexican Soul Food restaurant!

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Old 03-16-2013, 04:54 PM   #22928
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I took a day off from work to play golf. I was on the fourth hole, when I discovered a small frog sitting on the green. I paid it no attention until I heard, "Ribbit. 9-iron."

That's curious, I thought, but decided to trust the frog. I pulled out a 9-iron and sunk a hole-in-one.

Amazed, I picked up the frog and asked where we should go next. "Ribbit. Vegas."

We went to Vegas, and I asked the frog what we should do first. "Ribbit. Roulette."

We went up to the roulette table, and I won big. I took my earnings and got the best room in the hotel. I asked the frog if there was anything I could do to repay it. "Ribbit. Kiss me."

I figured, what the hell, and I kissed the frog. It turned into a 15-year-old girl. That's how she ended up in my room, your Honor, and if I'm lying, my name's not R. Kelly.

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Old 03-16-2013, 04:59 PM   #22929
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Your no longer allowed to tell jokes after I've had Mexican food, mmkay?

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Old 03-16-2013, 05:02 PM   #22930
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One day a "community activist" was digging through his office drawers when suddenly he came upon a magic lamp. (Oh, c'mon, I'm sure there's one buried in your desk too.) Since he'd heard these jokes before, he knew that he had to rub the lamp and make the genie come out. So he rubbed the lamp and -- oh, surprise -- out popped a genie.
The genie asked, as genies will, “What is your first wish?” The "community activist" thought about it for a second, then replied, “I would like to be rich!” So the genie granted him his wish, and poof the man was surrounded by piles of money rivaling the heaps of even Martha Stewart and Bill Gates.
Since the "community activist" knew the whole wish process, the genie didn't even have to ask for number two before he said, “My second wish is to be on an island with beautiful women surrounding me and obeying my every command!” And poof, he was there.
Then the "community activist" -- or, as I like to call him, civil servant -- decided on his third wish, “I don't want to do any work ever again!” and poof -- ubiquitous ironic twist -- he was back in his office.

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