Originally Posted by Cinderocka1989
You can't change someone who doesn't have any desire to change.
That is true, but if the change is one that you both recognize and desire to achieve, change is possible. The problems arise when a woman desires changes in her man and she does not discuss it with him, or she does and there is not mutual agreement as to what the changes are to be and how to go about it.
I again turn to the alcoholism analogy. If a guy (or girl) is an alcoholic and the one person wants to change but the other one doesn't, it will never happen, or at least not in that way that will help the relationship.
On the other hand, if the alcoholic recognizes that they have a problem, and desires to address it with the support of their partner it makes it easier. Anything is easier with the support of your partner. But it takes mutual support.
Jealousy is a dangerous emotion. It takes away all reason and logic at times (perhaps that is what happened in the story that sparked this conversation), a guy walks in on "his" woman who is having a glass of wine and conversation with another man and before anything can be said he kills the guy.
Maybe the dude was a cousin who stopped by out of the blue, or an old high school classmate. I'm not saying that was definitely the case in that story, but it does happen. A jealous rage can cause a man to do stupid and regrettable things.