So I'm sittin on the couch watching tv when I look out on my front porch and there is a freakin coon just snooping around. So I go to get the pistol and a flash light and its gone. So I sit back down with pistol beside me and low and behold a few minutes later here it comes again. So I ease over to the front door, slowly ease it open, and squeeze off a round. Needless to say that's the last freakin time that one messes up my dang porch.
Now I lay me down to sleep,
A gun beside my bed I keep.
If I awake to find you inside,
A coroner van will be your last ride.