[Benning Boy]

True story.

As a kid, I suffered, as many do, with very low self esteem.

I knew I'd never get a girl, or a job, and I'd be 40 and living in a basement. I was extremely depressed.

Teen years didn't help. I liked Sci Fi, geeky stuff. I was never going to be popular.

Then I saw it. I'm flipping through channels, and there was the key to success.

Pro Wrestling.

Every bad guy had the same deal, an ego so large it eclipsed the sun. Guys like The Magnificent Muraco, Rowdy Roddy Piper, spent most of the hour talking about how great they were, my polar opposites, and the guys I needed to be.

Over the summer, I studied them, lifted weights in the basement, and BELIEVED all the B.S. I was spouting. When school started, I was adored, my acne cleared up, and I got popular.

So anyway, what that means to you losers is I'm going to spend this thread talking about how awesome I am.

I'm paying tribute to Benning Boy.

[Benning Boy]

His hair's not long or gold

He's not like other guys

He shaves it off, so bold

He's got Robert Downey eyes

And he'll poll you

Or console you

He will post and then cajole you

He's a demon

And he knows how to get girlies really steamin

Half the Forum thinks he likes guys

He's got, Robert Downey eyes......

[dunerunner]

Another vane attempt to pad your post count?

Go ahead Benning........Tell us all about it!!

[danf_fl]

Kim Carnes can relax now. She no longer has to shoulder the onus of having the only lyrics to that tune.

To BB!

[amoroque]

"Ohhhhh Yeaaah, I'm gonna put you in a hurt blanket"

[Dillinger]

Originally Posted by danf_fl

Kim Carnes can relax now. She no longer has to shoulder the onus of having the only lyrics to that tune.

To BB!

Stole my thunder on that one.

TO Benning Boy!!!

[Dillinger]

Whaaaaaaaaaattttttaaa rushhhh!!! :d

[Benning Boy]

Oooh, massage my ego a little to the left.

And to you tallywhackers that don't like it, I'll see you September 5th at the Civic center!!

[Benning Boy]

I have friends in the entertainment industry.

Young M.C. and Benning at Taco Bell:

BB: So where's the career, man?

Young: I need something new. Beatboxing is out, making funny noises with your mouth. That's why I called, man. I need something new, and you're creative.

BB: let's one rip

Young: Genius! Thanks man!

Funky "Bust a move" intro....


You're on there sittin
Brow is knittin
All bound up
Like fingers in a mitten

Wish you'd get it out
So you could leave the throne
Cuz you're sittin on a toilet all alone

Your legs start shakin
Turd is fakin
Gettin all mad
About the time it's takin

Gettin all angry but the point is moot
So don't just sit there, Bust A Toot!

[Benning Boy]

John Holmes unbuttons for his next scene.

Cut! Body double!

Benny crushes out a cigarette and leaves his chair....