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Old 03-14-2014, 07:18 PM   #41
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Heard alot of people say the worst things about kids is they grow up to be teenagers
then
little kids little money , big kids big money
I dont think their reasoning skills are all there just yet , I have helped get a few kids back on track that were running away and going to jail but yet I cant get mine to see and understand where I am coming from .
You may not be able to. Sometimes it takes somebody other than the parents to do this.
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Old 03-15-2014, 01:02 AM   #42
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My little angel (21) who is working, and had an opportunity to transfer into a better paying job, on a whim has decided to move across country. She doesn't have enough money to even pay the gas to get to where she's going, but she is going. Gotta let her fail

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Old 03-15-2014, 02:00 PM   #43
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My little angel (21) who is working, and had an opportunity to transfer into a better paying job, on a whim has decided to move across country. She doesn't have enough money to even pay the gas to get to where she's going, but she is going. Gotta let her fail
The only thing that comes to mind on that is this great song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rf_UV0TAjM8
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Old 03-15-2014, 02:18 PM   #44
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My most deep respect to all the good parents . It can be very testing at times but one day , they bEcome adults and parents and how we act as parents carries over to there parenting skills .


My son is 30 and I could not be more proud of him ! Pass it on!

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Old 03-15-2014, 03:47 PM   #45
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Like to OP my son (13 now and becoming a human) used to be VERY picky about the order of things, how things are prepared, had the temper of the devil (even called the cops on me once because he was mad, thankfully I got an older Irish police officer that told my son that he would have bent his son over his knee and whooped his butt if his son was acting the way mine was) but they get older and grow out of it. I will add here that I was divorced about 13-14 years ago and my ex is a real piece of work. He constantly would tell the kids they don't have to listen to me or their step dad and that we were basically dirtbag people, but I NEVER EVER bad mouthed him around the kids, ever. So I think a big factor is they growing out of believing everything that he says. they are forming their own opinions.

It'll give you grey hairs, it'll push your patience, but it does get better. Oldest is 19 now and she works where I do and she is a great employee, and I don't think I could be prouder.

I will say that my ex-bro & sis in law have a boy that is 20. When he was about 2 or 3 it really became apparent that he was not just "acting out" or being hard headed. He played differently, thru a major tantrum if something wasn't his way, even smallest things, would only talk when he felt like it or really REALLY wanted something. They finally took him to a Dr. and he was diagnosed with autism. They worked hard to get him thru school, he graduated high school, and to make his life as "normal" as they could but he will always live with them as far as I know. I commend them for their hard work.

Could be worth a visit to a Dr.

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Old 04-04-2014, 03:44 PM   #46
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So a bit of a update , kids have been making our sleeping arangments hell , '' one sleeping with me in my bed and the wife having to sleep in my sons bed with the other and vice versa ''.
Well I have just had it , done with it , not going to happen anymore but the wife will give in way before I will just to shut them up .
I am really tired of not having my wife sleep beside me at night so I pretty much stayed up all thurs night trying to keep my son in his bed . Daughter is fine , she is sleeping in hers again but he just does not want to leave me or mom . Got him to stay in there for a few hours at least before sneaking in our bed running my wife out AGAIN .
Pretty much the same deal ast night , Should I just keep trying to take baby steps or outright force him to stay in bed by locking the door ?

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Old 04-04-2014, 05:16 PM   #47
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I'd see if you can figure out why he's getting up. Not enough attention or exercise during the day? Or does he need a night light? Does he go right to back to sleep or is he staying awake? Is he warm/cool enough? Maybe change his bedtime? Is his diet affecting him? Every kid is different. Figuring out what each one needs is the hard part. Perservere, it'll be worth it.

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Old 04-04-2014, 06:27 PM   #48
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I'd see if you can figure out why he's getting up. Not enough attention or exercise during the day? Or does he need a night light? Does he go right to back to sleep or is he staying awake? Is he warm/cool enough? Maybe change his bedtime? Is his diet affecting him? Every kid is different. Figuring out what each one needs is the hard part. Perservere, it'll be worth it.

Brian
Keep in mind he may not know what is bothering him. He is not doing it purposely. It could be his diet, or "monsters" (there are some awesome Monster Sprays out there that will keep the buggers at bay all night long just so's you know). It could honestly be dang near anything. A buddy of mine was having trouble sleeping and after a couple of years mentioned it to somebody else, one thing led to another and it turned out the Wifi router was just on the other side of his bedroom wall from his head and the RF emitted was screwing with his brain and disrupting his sleep and thought patterns. Moved the Wifi (or maybe would unplug it all at night) and the problem went away immediately.

Like I say, he doesn't know whats going on any more than you do. he needs you to figure it out, not to lock him in his room to suffer. That would be punishing him for something he has no control over and if you do that you will be screwing him up for life because he will never be able to go to you with problems without fearing punishment for it.
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Old 04-04-2014, 07:49 PM   #49
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Keep in mind he may not know what is bothering him. He is not doing it purposely. It could be his diet, or "monsters" (there are some awesome Monster Sprays out there that will keep the buggers at bay all night long just so's you know). It could honestly be dang near anything. A buddy of mine was having trouble sleeping and after a couple of years mentioned it to somebody else, one thing led to another and it turned out the Wifi router was just on the other side of his bedroom wall from his head and the RF emitted was screwing with his brain and disrupting his sleep and thought patterns. Moved the Wifi (or maybe would unplug it all at night) and the problem went away immediately.

Like I say, he doesn't know whats going on any more than you do. he needs you to figure it out, not to lock him in his room to suffer. That would be punishing him for something he has no control over and if you do that you will be screwing him up for life because he will never be able to go to you with problems without fearing punishment for it.
I do agree that there are any number of things that can disrupt a child's sleep patterns. Diet, exercise, noise under the house or next room, street lights, neighborhood noise - the list goes on and on. If the parent sleeps in the child's bed, it may be possible to determine what it is.

Another problem that affected me personally was the fact that my daughter would stay up most of the night, keeping me awake, then I would be a wreck the next day. It took me a while, but all of a sudden I realized that she was napping during the day! My next weekend off was fully planned: we went to the zoo, the park, played with the dog - anything I could think of that was fully interactive and would keep her moving. Even in the car to and from events we would sing and talk so she couldn't fall asleep. Two solid days of that lead to two nights of her being completely passed out for the entire night. After that, both my wife and I made sure not to let her nap during the day and she adjusted to sleeping all night in her bed.

It shouldn't be necessary to lock them in their room, but kids should understand that it's Mommy and Daddy's bed, NOT for the whole family. I have seen kids completely tear marriages apart when the parents had no "Alone Time," and that should never happen. I will add the caveat that I believe you are husband/wife first and father/mother second, meaning your higher duty is to your spouse - the kids should not being making the rules or determining how every minute and dollar is spent. Rules and boundaries in the home are a good thing for a healthy marriage, and good training to the kids for future life.

EDIT: As an aside, the parents of a four-year-old girl in our church was not sleeping and acted depressed. Her grandmother finally got it out of her that she could hear Mommy and Daddy "fighting" almost every night. As it turns out, her room was right next to the master bedroom and the couple's amorous nocturnal activities were heard by the child as fighting. Moving her to another bedroom solved the problem and her depression went away.
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Old 04-04-2014, 08:57 PM   #50
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My kids learned from the get-go you never open a door without knocking, first. Just a politeness and respecting privacy. I never entered a room with a closed door without knocking first. I never really had a problem with my kids staying in their beds. I did have times when they were afraid and they thought they 'saw things' in their room. But they would yell for me and I'd go see what was bothering them. As Vikingdad said, I made a "monster spray" which was simply a spray bottle with water in it. I labeled it "Monster spray" with a permanent marker. I told them if they spray in the direction of the monster, it would be repelled and go away. It worked.........most of the time. A nightlight and patience and giving them time to grow emotionally was the cure all. My kids were pretty easy to raise..........at least when they were little.

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