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MobileMarine 03-05-2014 05:25 PM

The Parent thread
Don't think I have seen a thread yet dedicated to being a mom or dad and the joys / horrors of raising kids . A spot to go for parenting advice or ideas , some of us may have little know how . I for one am a father of almost 4yo twins boy/girl and its very tough sometimes , my main source would have been my mother but we lost her 3 months before mine were born . My MIL is a air head , my dad well , may encourage their bad behaviors just to get back at me . So sometimes we may looks to others for all the surprises we encounter as parents and also to share some stories .

For instance , right now , my daughter seems to have woken up with a negative IQ one morning , she is very smart , has excellent vocab but just does the most stupidest things and whats worse is she knows better . Also at 4 yo she has become the ultimate master of ignoring someone .
I am 31 and I already have more gray hair than my 56yo dad '' actual fact ''
Last night at 2:30 in the morning my son goes ape crazy , screaming , hitting ect ect , For what you may ask ?
some toast

Steel_Talon 03-05-2014 05:39 PM

My best advise is to keep yourself in check.. Always strive to be the calming influence.. Make sure your kids have a set of steady parameters to work with in and always that they have a since of "Place" with in the family... Insist on creating family traditions as you all grow together annual fishing trips, thanksgiving tradition, cutting a live tree down for Christmas.. ETC..... Eat dinner at the table and have laughter and discussion.

Never compare your children to each other or other family children, teach your daughter as you would your son. Fathers who instill self-esteem into their children (girls esp.) have strong adult children.

Happy, Healthy, Self Sustaining with a sense of charity.

I have six, college to 4th grade with a set of twin girls in their Jr. year of high school....

trip286 03-05-2014 05:40 PM

Dude, my six year old niece likes to use the ignore feature in real life.

Wanna see a fat hairy redneck go drill insttructor on a little girl? That pushes me right to my limit. Pisses me off beyond belief that her parents tolerate it. They do until I say something anyway, then it's like a lightbulb comes on, "oh, wait, she really IS being disrepectful as hell."

Mercator 03-05-2014 05:41 PM

You did not mention your wife, is she there to handle it?

kytowboater 03-05-2014 05:41 PM

Oh boy MM. My oldest is 3.5 years. I hope she stays decently calm the way she is. Don't get me wrong she goes crazy screams and cries and throws things when she doesn't get her way. But she sleeps! lol

~ Get your tools and meet me on tow princess!~

Apyl 03-05-2014 06:38 PM

I am 33 and have three ages 12, 7, and 5 plus three step-kids ages 17, 14, and 12 with two being special needs. Luckily we have not had to deal with the middle of the night tantrums. As for ignoring, yeah that lasted but a whole two minutes. I have zero tolerance for disrepect with my kids, when I say something or ask them something they give me their attention or they loose whatever had their attention.

Our biggest issue right now is time managment. This week we had wrestling on Monday, Spring Carnival on thursday ( I am also the 4-H leader so we host a booth at the carnival), wrestling tournaments Saturday, 4-H bowling on Sunday. I also am the county Poultry project leader so host county wide meetings on top of the local club meetings and activites. And of course my oldest being 12yo wants to have friends over or her go to their houses. Since we live in a rural wooded area she cant just ride her bike, so I am also a taxi service at times.

MobileMarine 03-05-2014 06:40 PM

My wife does nto keep her cool nearly half as much as I do . But I am the one taking them in the morning and about half the time I end up picking them up .
Big issue we have is them not having any patience . My girl will just throw a fit but my son will tear stuff up , if he does not have anything in his hand to throw he will find something or bite his arm and that when I pin him down and get in his face .
ALMOST wondering if they have a issue since they were a bit early , he did not come home till he was 6 months old and has sleep apnea . I work around special needs kids '' I hate calling them that '' but 90% of them listen better and act better than mine do .
When one gets upset it makes the other one happy , and they just feed and feed off of each other .
I think its mostly our fault on his part b/c his fits are so bad we just give in sometimes to avoid his epic * fits , ill video one and show you guys so you can understand what I am talking about

purehavoc 03-05-2014 08:33 PM

I have a almost 16 yr old and a 10 yr old . the almost 16 yr old knows not to push me to the limits . He likes to take me right to the edge but knows when to back down before he looses anything of value like cell phone, internet service, cable , etc . The 10 yr old on the other hand just wont quit , I take more stuff from him than you could ever imagine . He complains about not liking what we have made for dinner , Guess what you eat or you go hungry in our house . I dont play that game . We are constantly running all time, Baseball, basketball, soccer, Piano, you name it were doing it . When the wife and I do finally get time away from the kids it seems to be to go grocery shopping for about 3 hrs. I have had a fun and great time with my kids but I really cant wait until they both get their own places. My youngest would like to rent one of those utility type sheds with a loft and a front porch to move into . Im seriously thinking it might be worth it . :D JK on that one

Mercator 03-05-2014 09:16 PM

MM- You are a good parent for taking responsibility, but that stuff is not necessarily your fault. It is time to seek counseling. Especially for your son, have them rule out medical issues - autism, attention deficit, depression and such. When it's brain chemistry, most adults have a hard time staying even keel. I am not a specialist, just a fellow parent. There are state run programs that pay for childhood therapy. Don't delay, and don't see this as a personal or parental failure. Do what's right for them.

Quentin 03-05-2014 09:44 PM

I never had kids. Probably the smartest lifestyle choice I ever made, over careers, women, everything!

I know it's not for everyone but for me it was the right choice, even though it cost me a marriage in my twenties.

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