Norris-Isms.... - Page 2
You are Unregistered, please register to use all of the features of FirearmsTalk.com!    
Firearm & Gun Forum - FireArmsTalk.com > General Discussion Forums > The Club House > Norris-Isms....

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-14-2009, 12:00 AM   #11
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Gun-shy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 7
Default

Daylight saving time is based upon how far Chuck Norris walks east or west in a given year.
__________________
I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it. ~ Jack Handy
Gun-shy is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2009, 12:33 AM   #12
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Franciscomv's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 1,257
Liked 4 Times on 4 Posts

Default

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Franciscomv is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2009, 03:12 AM   #13
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
dragunovsks's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: West of Louisville KY,Indiana
Posts: 2,310
Liked 201 Times on 138 Posts

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gun-shy View Post
Daylight saving time is based upon how far Chuck Norris walks east or west in a given year.
I got a better one! Daylight saving time is based upon how far the bodies of the guys azzes he kicked would stretch if layed end to end in a given year.
__________________
Century Arms AR-15A2, 5.56
1946 Mosin-Nagant M44, 7.62x54R
1978 YUGO SKS, 7.62x39
NEF Protector Pump, 12 gauge
Savage Model 64, .22LR
NEF Pardner Tracker II, 12 gauge
Rock Island Armory 1911A1, .45 ACP
Remington 870 'Express Magnum' 12 gauge
Bersa Thunder .380
dragunovsks is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2009, 08:57 AM   #14
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
JiroZero713's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Aiea, Hawaii
Posts: 1,071
Liked 5 Times on 1 Posts

Default

Chuck Norris once went back in time to stop the Kennedy assasination.

He stopped 3 bullets with his beard at which point JFK's head exploded in sheer Amazment.
JiroZero713 is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2009, 09:34 AM   #15
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Bighead's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Oklahoma City,Oklahoma
Posts: 644
Liked 1 Times on 1 Posts

Default

There is no theory of evolution, only a list of animals that Chuck Norris allows to live.

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

__________________
I don't make jokes, I just watch the government and report the facts. -Will Rogers

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last. -Winston Churchill
Bighead is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2009, 06:21 PM   #16
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: everywhere
Posts: 9,639
Liked 10 Times on 10 Posts

Default

By Presidential decree, every time Chuck Norris trims his beard, the whiskers are gathered and buried at Arlington with full honors.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a cup, he wears a barrel.
Benning Boy is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2009, 10:40 PM   #17
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
gorknoids's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Virginia Beach,Virginia
Posts: 2,425
Liked 9 Times on 7 Posts
Likes Given: 5

Default

While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
gorknoids is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 03-15-2009, 12:32 AM   #18
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Hot Sauce NARC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Danville
Posts: 376
Liked 1 Times on 1 Posts

Default

CHUCK NORRIS doesn't sleep, HE WAITS!

CHUCK NORRIS knows what would happen when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object-HE accidentally punched himself in the face once.
Hot Sauce NARC is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 03-15-2009, 12:36 AM   #19
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Ghillie-Monster's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 51
Default

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with Beef Jerky.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving Door.

Chuck Norris' home has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
__________________
"The Tree of Liberty must be watered from time to time with the blood of Patriots and Tyrants."
Thomas Jefferson
Ghillie-Monster is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 03-16-2009, 12:31 AM   #20
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Rogers, AR
Posts: 6,262
Liked 3 Times on 2 Posts

Default

An episode of Walker Texas Ranger once aired in France. The French surrendered to Chuck norris just to be on the safe side.
Gojubrian is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Firearms Forum Replies Last Post
Chuck Norris I may run for president of Texas crowbar Politics, Religion and Controversy 21 03-13-2009 01:52 PM
Chuck Norris Mark F Politics, Religion and Controversy 5 11-03-2008 03:22 AM
Chuck Norris on sound fiscal advice bkt Politics, Religion and Controversy 2 09-23-2008 12:33 PM
Chuck Norris the only WMD in Iraq, say U.S. troops sculker The Club House 1 03-10-2008 11:44 PM
Chuck Norris/Mike Huckabee ad huckleberry Politics, Religion and Controversy 6 01-04-2008 03:30 PM



Newest Threads