Originally Posted by MisterMcCool
Who sold him the movie ticket? Was it purchased online or at the box office? Which usher tore his stub and directed him to the theater? was his popcorn properly buttered? There are a lot of unanswered questions here.
That was it! The popcorn wasn't buttered, it didn't allow the popcorn to properly slide down his throat, and he started to choke! The lack of air caused him to see zombies that he had trained to shoot. This is the fault of the $8/hr concessions clerk!
I hope it wasn't the chemicals in the salt/butter/popcorn. It'll be the "Twinkie Defense" all over again, and look what happened to them! I don't want to lose movie popcorn...
Malo periculosam, libertatem quam quietam servitutem." (I prefer the tumult of liberty to the quiet of servitude.). Thomas Jefferson
"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."
-Edmund Burke, Loosely translated from Thoughts on the Cause of Present Discontents. (1770)