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Jo da Plumbr 09-08-2009 03:09 PM

New Words for 2009
 
New Words for 2009


* SWAMP-DONKEY

A deeply unattractive person.

* TESTICULATING.
Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.

* BLAMESTORMING.
Sitting round in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a
project failed, and who was responsible.

* SEAGULL MANAGER.
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and
Then leaves.

* SALMON DAY.
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get
screwed and die.

* CUBE FARM.
An office filled with cubicles.

* PRAIRIE DOGGING.
When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and
people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also
applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.)

* SINBAD.
Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate.

* AEROPLANE BLONDE.
One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'.

* PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE.
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it
to work again.

* AUSSIE KISS.
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.

* OH - NO SECOND.
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just
made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all').

* GREYHOUND.
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.

* JOHNNY-NO-STARS.
A young man of substandard intelligence, the typical adolescent who
works in a burger restaurant. The 'no-stars' comes from the badges
displaying stars that staff at fast-food rest au rants often wear to show
their level of training.

* MILLENNIUM DOMES.
The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from
the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing.

* MONKEY BATH .
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: 'Oo! Oo! Oo!
Aa! Aa! Aa!'.

* MYSTERY BUS.
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the
toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so
the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.

* MYSTERY TAXI.
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake
up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your
bed instead.

* BEER COAT.
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise
At 3:00am .

* BEER COMPASS.
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze
cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how
you got here, and where you've come from.

* BREAKING THE SEAL.
Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After
breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be
required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.

* TART FUEL.
Bottled premixed spirits, regularly consumed by young women.

* TRAMP STAMP
Tattoo on a female

* PICASSO BUM.
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's
got 4 buttocks


* SALAD DODGER.
An excellent phrase for an overweight person.

suprdave 09-08-2009 03:18 PM

Nice work. Very familiar with swamp donkeys. Before I was married, I met a few...;)

Jo da Plumbr 09-08-2009 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by suprdave (Post 156888)
Nice work. Very familiar with swamp donkeys. Before I was married, I met a few...;)

Did they arrive in the mystery taxi?:eek:

Dillinger 09-08-2009 03:36 PM

LOL - Salad Dodger.... :D

That's funny right there...

JD

meek 09-08-2009 03:38 PM

I'm a Johhny Nostar. I'm dating a swamp donkey w a picasso bum and tramp stamp. Met her in a cube farm, asked for an aussie kiss, while percussive maintincening the copy machine. Took her out for tart fuel, she was wearing a grey hound, and turns out they were millenium domes, waited for the Mystery Taxi, that never showed, forcing an oh no second. Took a monkey bath and went to bed early, got a salmon day tomorrow with a seagull manager. I hope there are sinbad's about but will settle for an airplane blonde. I know it'll end up a blamestorm, but that just an excuse to start testiculating.

Jo da Plumbr 09-08-2009 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by meek (Post 156897)
I'm a Johhny Nostar. I'm dating a swamp donkey w a picasso bum and tramp stamp. Met her in a cube farm, asked for an aussie kiss, while percussive maintincening the copy machine. Took her out for tart fuel, she was wearing a grey hound, and turns out they were millenium domes, waited for the Mystery Taxi, that never showed, forcing an oh no second. Took a monkey bath and went to bed early, got a salmon day tomorrow with a seagull manager. I hope there are sinbad's about but will settle for an airplane blonde. I know it'll end up a blamestorm, but that just an excuse to start testiculating.

You get extra credit for that sir.

:D:D:D

IGETEVEN 09-08-2009 04:23 PM

Thanks Jo! Learned some new words today! :D

Jack

suprdave 09-08-2009 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jo da Plumbr (Post 156894)
Did they arrive in the mystery taxi?:eek:

Yep. I hated that damn thing...

bkt 09-08-2009 11:10 PM

Those are great! (But some of them have been around a few years.)

zhuk 09-10-2009 05:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jo da Plumbr (Post 156882)

* TESTICULATING.
Waving your arms around and talking bollocks.

Now that's gold Jo. I'm stealing that if you don't mind...I think it's gonna get quite a workout :D


Quote:

* AUSSIE KISS.
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.


Ha, good one! Not to be confused with the venerable 'Glasgow Kiss' ie a swift headbutt :p


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