New Military recruit training standards


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Old 10-19-2009, 08:31 AM   #1
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Default New Military recruit training standards

New Military Recruit Training Standards


WASHINGTON - (AP) In an effort to ensure proper training and readiness among the military services, Congress has approved the following changes to basic principles of recruit training:

HAIRCUTS:

Marines-heads will be shaved.
Army-flat-tops for all recruits.
Navy-no haircut standard.
Air Force-complete makeovers as seen on the Jenny Jones show.



TRAINING HOURS:

Marines-rise at 0500, train until 2000.
Army-rise at 0600, train until 1900.
Navy-rise at 0900, train until 1100, lunch til 1300, train till 1600.
Air Force-rise at 1000, breakfast in bed, lunch at 1200, nap at 1400, training ceases at 1500.



MEALS:

Marines-Meals-Ready-to-Eat 3 times a day.
Army-one hot meal, 2 MRE's.
Navy-3 hot meals.
Air Force-catered meals prepared by the Galloping Gourmet, Julia Childs, and Wolfgang Puck. All you can eat.



LEAVE and LIBERTY:

Marines-none.
Army-4 hours a week.
Navy-2 days a week.
Air Force-for every four hours of training, recruits will receive eight hours of leave and liberty.



PROTOCOL:

Marines-will address all officers as "Sir" and refer to the rank of all enlisted members when speaking to them (i.e. Sgt Smith).
Army-will address all officers as "Sir", unless they are friends, and will call all enlisted personnel Sarge.
Navy-will address all officers as Skipper, and all enlisted personnel as Chief.
Air Force-all Air Force personnel shall be on a first name basis with all other personnel.



DECORATIONS/AWARDS:

Marines-medals and badges are awarded for acts of gallantry and bravery.
Army-medals and badges are awarded for every bullet fired, hand grenade thrown, fitness test passed, and bed made.
Navy-will have ships engineers make medals for them as needed.
Air Force-will be issued all medals as they will most likely be awarded them at some point early in their careers.



CAMOUFLAGE UNIFORMS:

Marines-work uniform, to be worn only during training and in field situations.
Army-will wear it anytime, anywhere.
Navy-will not wear cammies, they do not camouflage you on a ship. Captains will make every effort to TRY to explain this to our sailors.
Air Force-will defeat the purpose of camouflage by putting blue and grey service chevrons and name tapes on them.



CAREER FIELDS:

Marines-all Marines shall be considered riflemen first and foremost.
Army-doesn't matter, all career fields promote to E-8 in first enlistment
Navy-nobody knows. Navy still trying figure out what all the SMC, BNC, BSN, and all the other ratings things are.
Air Force-every recruit will be trained in a manner that will allow them to leave the service early to go on to higher paying civilian jobs.




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Old 10-19-2009, 11:39 AM   #2
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THAT is going to be copied and posted by my desk. The majority of people I work with, including my lead tech and supervisor, are former "wing waxers" and many will get a kick out of this list. Not too sure about our projos (project officers) though, seeing as how they're active Air Force.

But, joke 'em if they can't take a f**k.


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Old 10-19-2009, 03:28 PM   #3
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As a former Airman, I take umbrage with the term "wing waxer". I prefer "Wing Nut".

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Old 10-19-2009, 05:24 PM   #4
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I'm going to have to show this to my grandfather. He was a belly gunner in a B52 (I think) during World War 2 so he might get some humor from it.

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Old 10-19-2009, 10:47 PM   #5
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Love it! +1

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Old 10-21-2009, 11:55 PM   #6
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Funny how ppl who aren't in ANY military branch are the ones making all the jokes.

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Old 10-22-2009, 02:29 AM   #7
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a damned marine must have wrote it.(kidding) My dad was 20 yrs airforce(FLYBOYS) I was army my daughter is marine? and a nephew in the army.be proud and respect anybody who has served even if they are just flyboys.

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Old 10-22-2009, 03:25 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grey View Post
Funny how ppl who aren't in ANY military branch are the ones making all the jokes.
I'm not currently in any military branch. Ex-Army here. Father spent 30 years in the Corps which is what I grew up with. I'm quite sure many of the "jokers" are also former military. We can laugh and make jokes because we lived it.
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Old 10-22-2009, 03:31 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JCubed View Post
I'm going to have to show this to my grandfather. He was a belly gunner in a B52 (I think) during World War 2 so he might get some humor from it.
Probably a B-17 or B-24. B-52 didn't come around till the 1950's and it didn't have a belley gun.
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Old 10-22-2009, 05:09 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AcidFlashGordon View Post
I'm not currently in any military branch. Ex-Army here. Father spent 30 years in the Corps which is what I grew up with. I'm quite sure many of the "jokers" are also former military. We can laugh and make jokes because we lived it.

I think all the defence branches have a time-honoured tradition of inter-service insulting...if a commando I know is anything to go by


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