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Old 07-30-2013, 05:57 AM   #101
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My dad grew up on a small farm, but the year he graduated high school a new college opened up here in town and granted 1 semester scholarships to some of the local kids. He won one of them and went on to get a degree in accounting. He went to work for the state and sort of forgot the self sufficient style of the farm. Back then government jobs did not pay well and when he had to hire an electrician to replace a switch for the basement light, he watched and realized that he could have done that himself he sort of reclaimed that old self sufficiency that his dad taught him.

After 3 or 4 farm buildings, one huge addition on his house, and building my house from scratch, he is almost fearless on this type of stuff.

The down side though is that he seems to defer to me more and more on some of these types of decisions, and while logic dictates that I am much more capable of making many of these decisions ( education etc.) It still seems awkward to me to be deciding some of this stuff when he is perfectly capable (at least in my mind) of deciding these things for himself.
Don't ever let on to him that you feel uncomfortable in your role as he his aging. My dad passed on back on September 6th at the age of 82. The past several years I have been working with him more and more as his ability to think was diminishing. It was sometimes difficult to do but I was always patient and understanding, oftentimes having to tell him that I did not understand things so he would have to explain them- and that is what it took for him to realize that he was still quite sharp. Nothing is worse for an elderly person than for them to come to the realization that they are losing their marbles. Never be patronizing.

My dad and I became very, very close in the past 15 to 20 years. I am glad that we did. It allowed me to accept his passing and move on in my life. I miss him, but I did not really have to grieve for him because we were so close. He would not have wanted me to.
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Old 07-30-2013, 06:48 AM   #102
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You know what confuses me? The depression generation worked hard and taught the baby boomers to work hard also. But all of a sudden, after what, the 80's ended, no one was told/taught to work hard anymore? Where or what is the disconnect? How come we have so many hard working parents, in every sense of the phrase, with kids that do almost literally nothing? And are ENABLED and allowed to? Enabled is the correct and operative term, because if you do nothing, you will end up living off the Dole, or in a box under the bridge.......
I remember sitting around with some other counter culture friends after school listening to Zeppelin and burning a lefty and listening to several kids talk about their tougher than hell parents. This really was not a surprise, we all had pretty strict parents. Mine where WWII generation folk that tried to raise their kids to be the same hard work for decent rewards they where. I'd listen to them talk about when they got older and where raising kids they would not be so strict like their parents where. They would let their kids do what ever they wanted.
...Well...They did. So looking back at those days in 1979-1982 (high school days) this was what was going through many heads. Now sure I was a young kid that wanted to be a rock drummer and grow my hair while claiming to know 100% about everything. And one of those things I knew was sure my parents where hard. But the logic was sound. Sure I hated it sometimes but it made sense down the road and it still does now. You work your ass off and you will see the results of that work. you are responsible for your own actions. But this was not what some in my generation thought. And there it began. Those kids grew up and let their kids run crap house crazy and they where not responsible for any of it.

As the 80's got into full swing and the pants got tighter and hair bigger it seemed this gotr to be more and more the order of the say. And not many of these new grown ups started using terms like "there outta be a law" about this or that thing that was just plain wrong in their opinions. And the seeds of reactionary government was born. Now this was not done by them alone. They where being prodded by an unseen enemy. The hippys had become yuppies and now had money and could buy cocaine to add to their fun stash. THey got the money and greed but still complained about the WWII generation that was running the country into the ground They had the greed and kept the green so they could listen to Bob Dillon while watching the Ted Turner Jane Fonda way of thinking grow. And more and more has become not their problem since. Those kids that I got buzzed with had kids and those kids are having kids. and each new round brings more and more to the It's not my problem fund. Why give to or hep the poor when we can make rich people do it via the tax code? It's not the poor that is at fault. My kid is poor they say and it's (insert evil white guy name here)! The rich need to give their fair share. Because They don't make enough to do it.

Each new generation gets a little more but-hurt about their poor self esteem that was too much trouble to work on themselves. So it's someone else job to fix it.The one common thread about much of this is there has been no real crisis since the war in the 60's to give any of these new kids any real sense of hardship. My father walked railroad tracks after school and work to get fuel to help heat their home during the depression. Trains dropped coal and he thought well...lets get that! He did this until he got through high school and joined the Army to do his part in WWII and Korea. Sure my generation had to sign up for selective service and that thought was scary I guess at the time for many but there was no war going on in 1982 that was going to bring a draft back. A couple recessions but nothing like what happened in 1929. Even with all the trouble now there is no crisis that sits in the minds of children that gives them any sense of loyalty to anything but themselves. Nothing is bigger than themselves And now large employers are being told they need to address the needs of these new kids coming out of college. They need to worry about their self esteem.

So yeah, I blame the not so swift stoners of the 70's and early 80's that listened to the hippys of the 60's and that screwed up all of the 90's and beyond. Maybe someone should have made a law.....
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