This is written in the spirit of "fun".
It was a 1984 Cadillac Sedan Deville.
My mother in law "had to have" a cadillac. I bought her 77 Olds Delta 88 (with 350 chevy motor in it) for full retail and it was the last great GM vehicle I ever owned. She only had 30K miles on it and it was 1984.
The sedan de ville was appropriately lemon yellow in color. It had the 4100 cc piece of chit motor. this thing would give you 12 MPG if you were lucky. It would barely get out of its own way. YOu had to floor it to leave a street light and it sounded like a sewing machine that needed about 8 quarts of oil. The First (worst) day we picked it up the intercoursing trunk lid took place. It had what was called a power close trunk lid. Well we are all (mother and father in law, wife and I) in this P.O.S. and we are pulling out of the dealers showroom and it has 1/16 of a mile on it. The trunk lid goes "EWWWWWE" as in up. the light on the dash comes on that says "trunk open" (or was it door open?), then we hear "EWWWWE", the light goes off, the trunk closed it self, then we hear "EWWWWE", the light comes on, trunk open! We drive around the block to the dealer and some goof ball mechanic (he had to be nuts to work there!)
"adjusts" the limit switch. Well we got half way home and it started in again. Took it back about 5 times and gave up on it. I told her "just drive it, it is swapping in clean air for you to breath".
This is in MN where you get 58 inches of snow in an "average year" (average year....what the he11 is that?) My wife inherited this POS. It was like a curse. Every fall, when you wanted HEAT (remember, in MN it goes down to 35 degrees below zero actual....none of this wind chill crappola....for about 2 weeks at at ime) We had to take it to the dealer so they could swap out the computerized heater control POS for only $500. They also would swap out the blower motor as "it had high resistance" and would wipe out this computerized heater control POS.
In the spring, when it would be getting up to 98 degrees with 400% humidity you would want the AC to work. Well well well, guess what, you had to take it to the dealer to buy another computerized heater control and another blower motor because of its high resistance. The trunk lid would only act up when it was AWAY from the dealership. One day, the motor on the trunk lid DIED......in the closed position as really good luck would have it. (good luck in those days was as follows......I'd get up at 5 AM to go to work, I'd pee in the toilet and flush it, the water would come all the way to the top and then finally.........mercifully go down...that meant I used up all of my good luck for the whole day!!
) Well, we drove this thing joyfully for almost 6 whole months with the trunk CLOSED and not doing its intercourseing motion thing (up...down....up.....down......got that?) Well, when the fall of the year came, and the next pair of heater control computers and blower motors needed to be replaced, Mister Genius mechanic finds out the trunk lid motor is shot. (Don't even ask why he was in the trunk!) So he replaces that POS. So we drive out with the heater working and the trunk lid doing its thing. I cut the wire on it after I tricked it into going down with a screw driver.
Did I tell you about the power door locks? Well, I forgot, let me tell you about the )(&^%(&^&_ power door locks. These would fail as frequently as the POS heater/ AC computer thingy. Did I tell you about the intake manifold and head gaskets that needed to be replaced every 14000 miles, OH...I'm sorrry, I must've forgot, they were POS too! We sold the car with 68000 miles on it at a garage sale, it had a garage sale price, and was sold "AS IS" and the new chump (excuse me...owner) was warned that it was lemon yellow for a reason. This guy must have been a cadillac mechanic or magician or something!
The next POS I had was when I made the BIG mistake of getting rid of my 77 Delta 88 that I bought from my mother in law (above). Since the olds had a 350 v8 I used it to pull my 18 foot dyna trac bass boat.
I'd barely make it off the concrete ramps with the boat when launching or taking the boat out of the water. So I decided I needed a vehicle with a 350 v8 minimum. I went to a chevrolet dealer and wanted to buy an impala with a 350 (this was in 1988).
They told me they could NOT sell me a 350 becasue of CAFE (corporate average fuel economy). Can you spell Government Encroachment as its finest? Well this is one example of that! I went over to Ford and made an inquiry into buying a Crown Victoria with a 351....NOPE...can't do it....we got CAFE laws we need to honor here. So in my inifinite wisdom I went and bought a 1988 K-5 full size chevy blazer. This thing made the cadillac look like a good vehicle. I hadn't even towed the boat yet and tranny went out (700r4). It would not shift out of low till about 40 and this was when you are light footing it. Have you ever tried to drive a vehicle that shifts out of low at 40 on ICE. They have a thing called ICE on the roads in MN about 9 months out of the year it seems. Well they fixed it under warranty. In 6 months I had rust holes all the way through both front fenders. In their infinite wisdom at Generous Motors they put the paint on first, then drilled a hole so they could shove their plastic K5 Blazer decals on the fender. Let me tell you where I think they should shove them!
Well, I'd better not...or Eric will throw me off of here. Generous Motors repainted the whole vehicle for me FOUR times for free. If you tried to stop fast...the paint on that worthless tailgate would end up on your hood. Did I tell you about how I have what might be called bad luck with power windows and seats? Well, I have bad luck with power windows and seats! I ordered this vehicle, a silverado, and then deleted the power windows and seats. WEll, they stuck me with a power tail gate window. That POS had to be replaced 4 times in about 20 usages. What a fine piece of engineering! The points on that piece of crap key for the tailgate window was a piece of sheetmetal spot welded onto a spring. Cost FORTY bucks for this thing. Must have been worth a nickel on a good day. I went through 4 "engine management systems" (another euphism for engine computer) that is hidden behind the glove box. I could replace them in my sleep. The hubs on the 4 wheel drive (automatics) were another fine piece of engineering from generous motors. This is the only vehicle I had in my entire life where the seat fell through the floor on me. (hey I am about 20 pounds over weight!) Then, in 1988 GM cheapend up the 350 and they have light duty heads that warp so your antifreeze can mix with your motor oil.
Ask me how I know!
I've droveFords for the last 20 years. I love em...They work...turn the key. The power seats even work. That had to come to an end though as the FORD dealers out here in Phoenix all want the full window sticker price.
THis is NOT happening. I ended up buying 13 Toyota 4 runner. I'm actually starting to LIKE it.!
I also have a 69 Charger... Too bad they still don't make them. The new charger looks like a brown turd to me!