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Much needed venting..


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Old 07-01-2012, 02:39 PM   #21
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First sorry to here of your problems. Every one makes mistakes you grew up maned up and got squared away good job.

First I would go talk to the nastiest mot low down family law lawyer you can find. They most of the time give a free hour of consultation. I can say without a doubt figure out a way to get a lawyer. I went into a custody hearing without one and her lawyer made me out to be a bad person for taking care of my kids.

Good luck keep your head on straight and keep your eye on the prize.


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Old 07-01-2012, 03:11 PM   #22
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I couldn't offer any advice that you might find useful. I've never been in a similar situation...

I can offer you a prayer and wish for some good karma for you (if you believe in that sort of thing )

It's awful what you have to deal with but IT WILL get better. Hopefully writing to us here will take some of the pressure off.

Again, thoughts and prayers...


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Old 07-01-2012, 03:40 PM   #23
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I would hope that you have gone over the temporary guardianship agreement to see if there is a time frame or something that gives you the right to reclaim custody without having to go through the court system. In the agreement is there anything mentioned about visitations? If not, most attorney's have a free consultation visit. Talk with a couple and see what they have to say.

Worse case scenario is you'll have to wait it out until September. I wish you the best.
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Old 07-01-2012, 03:41 PM   #24
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Ninja I feel for you, but at the same time I feel for your mother. You must understand your mother is having feelings just like you. She was not really in a grandmother role, the the role of mother for your child. To her it is like you are ripping her child that she has been raising as her own for years. Now I am not saying you don't have the right to take your own child, I'm just saying I see both sides of the coin. This whole process is going to be devastating on everyone involved no matter the outcome. I am glad that you have turned your life around and I hope you are able to get your son. When you do please try to reconcile with your mother and allow her visitation as I have no doubt that she has so much love for him. She probably has a fear that he will be completely removed from her life, and he is so much a part of her life. My middle daughter is a single mom, so we have our grandson while she works. We have him probably more waking hours than she does. We just returned from a weeks vacation and my wife was missing him so badly that when I plan on another week he is coming with us AGAIN.

I hope you get your son, and everything works out for you. Don't waste a minute they grow up so fast.
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Old 07-01-2012, 05:17 PM   #25
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I would like to hear your mothers side of the story. By your own admission you were a druggie and a party animal. You said you had a kid when clearly you weren't responsible enough to raise the child. Someone on here said we all make mistakes that's true but what you did was not a mistake it was bad decisions and irresponsible. Now you are faced with the consequences of your bad deeds and you want to come here and tell us what a horrible person your mother is for not trusting you and giving you the child. Your mother sounds like a peach to me she's doing what she thinks is best for your child. Given your past history I think she's right.

I'm not saying your a bad person now but I can see how your mother wouldn't trust you. You and most of the young people today need to learn that what you do today may have long lasting effects and you need to accept responsibility for your actions. This mess isn't your mother's fault it's your fault, buck up and take the time to prove to your mother that you have grown up. Remember this isn't about you or your mother. I sincerely hope it all works out for your child.
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Old 07-01-2012, 06:09 PM   #26
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You say the order was "temporary primary guardianship". I do not know the laws in your state but being the fact it is a temp order you should be able to ask the court to drop that order. You mother would then have to prove you unfit to revoke your parental rights permanently. Just make sure that you for not reason once in court lose your cool. Family court is a totally different animal. It's a lot like civil court where the law is subjective to the judges opinion in the matter.

Do your research, look up any laws that might apply in your state. If you have any resources available to parents with custody issues look into them. Some state can provide a lawyer to people that can't afford one for family court issues that involve children.

I do hope the best for you. I know what it is like working for custody of a child. I had to fight way too hard to get my daughter from her dope head mother. The judge seemed to be one of those that thought the child should be wit hthe mother or another woman. Even though she had charges for manufacture of meth while I have maintained a clear record for the most part (no drug charges, did have a DUI at 21 over15 years earlier). But I did finally get her and everything worked out. And it can for you too. Just keep your cool and learn the rules of the game they want you to play. The worst thing you can do is end up with an unfavorable decision because of some little thing in the3 law that could have been avoided.

In the mean time a place like this with the type of people that reside in it's cyber walls is a great place to get things off your chest. This forum has a great bunch of people that trend to want to rally around other members in their time of need. I've seen it happen many times since I started here. And I'm sure I will many more before it's all said and done with. Sometimes it's tough love around here. But you can always feel the love
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Old 07-01-2012, 06:31 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rjd3282
I would like to hear your mothers side of the story. By your own admission you were a druggie and a party animal. You said you had a kid when clearly you weren't responsible enough to raise the child. Someone on here said we all make mistakes that's true but what you did was not a mistake it was bad decisions and irresponsible. Now you are faced with the consequences of your bad deeds and you want to come here and tell us what a horrible person your mother is for not trusting you and giving you the child. Your mother sounds like a peach to me she's doing what she thinks is best for your child. Given your past history I think she's right.

I'm not saying your a bad person now but I can see how your mother wouldn't trust you. You and most of the young people today need to learn that what you do today may have long lasting effects and you need to accept responsibility for your actions. This mess isn't your mother's fault it's your fault, buck up and take the time to prove to your mother that you have grown up. Remember this isn't about you or your mother. I sincerely hope it all works out for your child.
At fjust, your posting really angered me. But that quickly went away because you dont know the situation and maybe you didn't understand my original post entirely.

Yes I made mistakes and I accept responsibility for my actions. But the current situation has nothing to do with all those years ago except for the court order.

My son HAS been living with me for the last 5 years. His mother is nowhere in the picture.

The court order was a temporary agreement that I voluntarily gave 6 years ago.

I understand that the entire situation could not be understood without hearing both sides of the story. But please understand this.. Why else would my family be behind ME 100%? My Uncle, my Grandfather, cousins and an Aunt, which are all from my mothers side of the family... her own siblings.

I never said i was a "party animal" or a "druggie". I was a pothead.. no pills, no coke,heroin,crack,etc.. just pot. I smoked a lot of it but I was not out robbing,stealing,begging.

Once again, this was all 5+ years ago. I have not had one ounce of trouble since then.

But you are entitled to your opinion. And it is opinions like yours that I use to fight even harder. I have nothing to prove to anyone because ive already done so.
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Old 07-01-2012, 07:12 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UrbanNinja View Post
At fjust, your posting really angered me. But that quickly went away because you dont know the situation and maybe you didn't understand my original post entirely.

Yes I made mistakes and I accept responsibility for my actions. But the current situation has nothing to do with all those years ago except for the court order.

My son HAS been living with me for the last 5 years. His mother is nowhere in the picture.

The court order was a temporary agreement that I voluntarily gave 6 years ago.

I understand that the entire situation could not be understood without hearing both sides of the story. But please understand this.. Why else would my family be behind ME 100%? My Uncle, my Grandfather, cousins and an Aunt, which are all from my mothers side of the family... her own siblings.

I never said i was a "party animal" or a "druggie". I was a pothead.. no pills, no coke,heroin,crack,etc.. just pot. I smoked a lot of it but I was not out robbing,stealing,begging.

Once again, this was all 5+ years ago. I have not had one ounce of trouble since then.

But you are entitled to your opinion. And it is opinions like yours that I use to fight even harder. I have nothing to prove to anyone because ive already done so.

It was not my intention to anger you. I just wanted you to see your mothers side of the situation. She has sacrificed a lot to make sure your child was taken care of when you yourself weren't ready to make those sacrifices. So when did you decide it was time to get your child back?
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Old 07-01-2012, 07:14 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rjd3282

It was not my intention to anger you. I just wanted you to see your mothers side of the situation. She has sacrificed a lot to make sure your child was taken care of when you yourself weren't ready to make those sacrifices. So when did you decide it was time to get your child back?
He already told that-a year after his temporary custody papers was signed. That's when he got him back anyways.
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Old 07-01-2012, 09:18 PM   #30
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First off Urban, congratulations on six years of sobriety and getting your life in order. It's never easy, but it's always worth it. Contact a lawyer or get a public defender, you will need one. The situation you are in sucks, and you came to the right place to vent and get help and support. If you need to vent, yell, scream, whatever, PM me and we'll exchange contact info. You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope all goes well. Once again, if you need anything contact me.


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