MSDS: Men


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Old 11-13-2010, 05:50 PM   #1
RIP my good and faithful dog.
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Default MSDS: Men

I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist.



MSDS-MEN

Hazardous Materials Information Sheet : MEN

Element: Men
Symbol: BS
Discoverer: Should be shot
Atomic Mass: 70 kg (without Ego), 1000 kg (Ego included)
Occurrences: Found just about anywhere women are.


Physical Properties:
• Surface covered in hairy coat
• Displays signs of spineless puppy dog when properly whipped by a experienced woman.
• Hardens very easily, but softens at nothing.
• Sweet only when necessary, otherwise generally very bitter.
• Found in only one state : Horny
• Yields to just about anything with open legs.

Chemical Properties:
• Has a great affinity for bimbos and remote controls.
• High Grade specimens spend great quantities of expensive substances.
• Inability to think with more than one organ at a time.
• Attracted to just about anything, but sticks to nothing.
• Most powerful self-esteem reducing agent known to woman.

Common Uses:
• Has not yet been discovered.
• Some usefulness has been found when dealing with household appliances, but usefulness is extremely limited.
• Occasionally useful in bedroom, but only when given explicit instructions.

Tests:
• Becomes extremely competitive when grouped with several other specimens.
• Pure specimen becomes an a**h*** when saturated with alcohol.

Hazards:
• It is extremely difficult to keep one of these. A trained expert can resort to various tricks if necessary.
• It is illegal to posses more than one, but why would anyone want even the one they have?



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Last edited by winds-of-change; 11-13-2010 at 05:54 PM.
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Old 11-13-2010, 06:02 PM   #2
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You forgot that: a permit and specific training should be acquired prior to possession, use or acquisition or said possession!



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Old 11-13-2010, 06:42 PM   #3
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Well Played, Ma'am, Well Played.

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Old 11-13-2010, 10:35 PM   #4
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.. ouch!! ..
have to send these to my ex wives .. yes plural ..
sense of humor and loves guns .. what more can you ask for in a woman? ..
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Old 11-13-2010, 10:49 PM   #5
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Owns a gun shop!

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Old 11-13-2010, 10:59 PM   #6
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I bow to your superior logic

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Old 11-14-2010, 12:05 AM   #7
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owwwwwww weeeeeee we have a winner

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Old 11-14-2010, 01:17 AM   #8
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I dunno about all that.

I cook (Rather good if I do say so myself)
I clean
I take care of the kids
I am handy around the house.
and I am one hell of a shot.

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Old 11-14-2010, 01:47 AM   #9
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Hey, I resemble those remarks. Nows where's all the broads?

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Old 11-14-2010, 08:25 AM   #10
RIP my good and faithful dog.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpttango30 View Post
I dunno about all that.

I cook (Rather good if I do say so myself)
I clean
I take care of the kids
I am handy around the house.
and I am one hell of a shot.

It's a joke, Tango, just a joke. I just had to post something in retaliation to the "MSDS: Women" thread. I must admit there are many wonderful men in this world.


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