Firearm & Gun Forum - FireArmsTalk.com > General Discussion Forums > The Club House > Monday Morning Laughs..............

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 03-22-2010, 01:45 PM   #1
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
IGETEVEN's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Tornado "Just Blow Me" Alley,Oklahoma U.S.A.
Posts: 8,424
Liked 26 Times on 21 Posts

Default Monday Morning Laughs..............

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values.
Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'
Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?'
The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.'
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
'Mr. Clark , I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'
'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'
'Me neither, doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.'
The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A blond calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?'
The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'
'Thank you,' the blond says, and hangs up.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.'
Joe : 'Really?'
Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell.'

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.
'I'm OK, but I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,' he answered.
'What did he say,' asked the nurse.
'Oops!'
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so sought my husband's advice.
'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'

'better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.'intensive care.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance.
The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there.'



"Ha-cha-cha...I got a million of them"


__________________
Jack

ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ!

"There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter." - Hemingway

“The greatest ignorance is to reject something you know nothing about.”
IGETEVEN is offline  
 
Reply With Quote

Join FirearmsTalk.com Today - It's Free!

Are you a firearms enthusiast? Then we hope you will join the community. You will gain access to post, create threads, private message, upload images, join groups and more.

Firearms Talk is owned and operated by fellow firearms enthusiasts. We strive to offer a non-commercial community to learn and share information.

Join FirearmsTalk.com Today! - Click Here


Old 03-22-2010, 04:29 PM   #2
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
dunerunner's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Florence, Oregon
Posts: 8,481
Liked 30 Times on 21 Posts
Likes Given: 4

Default

Thanks!!






The 10

__________________

People get the government they deserve.

dunerunner is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 03-22-2010, 04:47 PM   #3
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Brad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 83
Liked 1 Times on 1 Posts

Default

Almost had coffee out the nose. That would have sucked

__________________

I carry a 1 inch guardrail nut on a loop of 550 cord. Its not whiz-bang tactical, but one shot to the grape, and its coloring books for Christmas.

Advocate For Armed America Because Your Attorney Can Get You Out Of Jail, Not Out Of A Grave.

Brad is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 03-23-2010, 12:27 AM   #4
Lifetime Supporting Member
FTF_LIFETIMESUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Shihan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Somewhere being Awesome
Posts: 9,077
Liked 433 Times on 233 Posts

Default

What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't?

A navel.

__________________
Click if you want Awesome
Shihan is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Firearms Forum Replies Last Post
Congressman Laughs at Pledge? Bigcountry02 The Club House 7 02-23-2010 04:20 PM
M&P15-22 $399 until Monday canebrake .22 Rifle/Rimfire Discussion 5 02-04-2010 03:16 AM
Monday Morning Comedy Time......Redneck Pick-Up Lines....... IGETEVEN The Club House 2 08-17-2009 04:31 PM
Going back to work Monday!!! dragunovsks The Club House 14 03-23-2009 12:53 AM