Monday Morning Laughs..............
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Monday Morning Laughs..............

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Old 03-22-2010, 02:45 PM   #1
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Default Monday Morning Laughs..............

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values.
Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'
Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'
A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?'
The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.'
'Mr. Clark , I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week,'
'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.'

A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'
'Me neither, doc,' said the husband. 'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.'
The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.
A blond calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?'
The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'
'Thank you,' the blond says, and hangs up.

Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.'
Joe : 'Really?'
Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell.'

A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.
'I'm OK, but I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,' he answered.
'What did he say,' asked the nurse.
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so sought my husband's advice.
'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'

'better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.'intensive care.
The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance.
The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there.'

"Ha-cha-cha...I got a million of them"

Monday Morning Laughs.............. - The Club House


"There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter." - Hemingway

“The greatest ignorance is to reject something you know nothing about.”
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Old 03-22-2010, 05:29 PM   #2
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Old 03-22-2010, 05:47 PM   #3
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Almost had coffee out the nose. That would have sucked
I carry a 1 inch guardrail nut on a loop of 550 cord. Its not whiz-bang tactical, but one shot to the grape, and its coloring books for Christmas.

Advocate For Armed America Because Your Attorney Can Get You Out Of Jail, Not Out Of A Grave.
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Old 03-23-2010, 01:27 AM   #4
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What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't?

A navel.
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