Mom passed away
You are Unregistered, please register to use all of the features of FirearmsTalk.com!    
Firearm & Gun Forum - FireArmsTalk.com > General Discussion Forums > The Club House >

Mom passed away


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-07-2012, 02:03 AM   #1
FTF_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Detroit,mi
Posts: 3,491
Liked 1382 Times on 812 Posts
Likes Given: 252

Default Mom passed away

and what an ugly ugly ugly mess!

Don't even know if this can be done in a short story, but I'll try.

January, series of strokes, recovers, rehabs, and very happy in a GREAT assisted living facility.

Early May, her best friend gives her some left over Vicodin. I started noticing a personality change late May. Memorial weekend was an absolute train wreck, during which she decides to go home, encouraged by her nephew and the best friend. I begged my cousin to not help her, and stated that she'd be dead by the end of August if he helped and allowed her to go home. She was very angry at me for not helping her move back home.

We had no conversations, I tired of her screaming at me, and literally stopped taking her calls.

August 10th, I receive a call from the hospital... Did you know your mom has been here since 7/29, and we desperately need you to immediately go file for guardianship. This was on a Friday afternoon, I was reeling from the news, and didn't understand why my DPOA and PA wasn't valid. Several discussions over the weekend with my own attorneys, and trying to get a handle on the situation, and trying to understand what the hospitals problem was... overwhelming doesn't even begin to describe it. Bottom line, by the time they had called me, she was toast... now it was about managing her end of life desires. Monday morning I was at probate court filing the paperwork, against the advice of my attorneys who said the hospital had no standing. I chose the easy route and jumped through their hoop. There is actually a long story behind that, and in defense of the hospital, they were trying to balance out the conflicting legal issues. Emergency hearing is granted for the following Monday, and they appointed a Guardian ad litem, who I could just kiss! She was wonderful in dealing with the hospital, my delusional paranoia sister, and the "enablers". The hospital literally needed a sober grown up to make some decisions.

We were able to put in place Hospice and DNR, which were her verbal and written end of life decisions.

At the Emergency hearing, at the recommendation of the GAL, I withdrew my emergency petition, but left standing the permanent petition, hearing scheduled for three weeks later. I had walked into that court room expecting to see a roomful of attorney's based on all the emails, phone calls, and txt msg during the previous week... nothing. although there was one young suit who said nothing and left immediately after the judge rulings.

Those three weeks were living HELL, why she put so much energy trying to prevent dying instead of using it to live in the first place in beyond me. Even the nurses were calling her the iron lady. the hospital chaplain called my cousin and her best friend "evil evil people". Further suggested the best friend should climb on her broom and fly out of there... this was the CHAPLIN!

Day before the permanent hearing, I called the GAL and suggested we adjourn the hearing for a couple of weeks, which she took care of. My delusional paranoia sister was non stop and relentless with the txt msg, phone calls, etc.

There's a whole lot of other stuff that was going on through this process, but less then two hours after she passed, I received a txt msg, "when do you want to schedule the reading of the will"... That pretty much summed everything up.

Yesterday morning, I woke up extremely unsettled, and called the hospital as soon as I had an opportunity. I normally called every afternoon, not in the morning. She passed a few hours after that phone call. their news in the morning had not been good, but hell, she was three weeks into hospice!

Now just trying to get my head leveled out and somewhat normal again. We're waiting for my sister to authorize the cremation (required by all interested party's in MI), so that can be taken care of. I've fronted the money, which the estate will pay back. Kind of funny, my dead broke sister wants this huge funeral, and I had to ask how she's going to pay for it I've got her talked down to a memorial service at mom's fav restaurant... but still who's going to pay for it? I know to never talk to my sister past mid afternoon, the drinking issue begins to take hold and feeds into the delusional paranoia.

As much as I'd like to thing the fun is over, it's only just beginning, especially since the best friend is also the personal representative. I'm thinking court oversight is in my best interest. At least now, it's no longer emotional, it's business

Last edited by partdeux; 09-07-2012 at 02:05 AM.
partdeux is offline  
 
Reply With Quote

Join FirearmsTalk.com Today - It's Free!

Are you a firearms enthusiast? Then we hope you will join the community. You will gain access to post, create threads, private message, upload images, join groups and more.

Firearms Talk is owned and operated by fellow firearms enthusiasts. We strive to offer a non-commercial community to learn and share information.

Join FirearmsTalk.com Today! - Click Here


Old 09-07-2012, 02:12 AM   #2
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
gearhead396's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,134
Liked 183 Times on 163 Posts

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by partdeux
and what an ugly ugly ugly mess!

Don't even know if this can be done in a short story, but I'll try.

January, series of strokes, recovers, rehabs, and very happy in a GREAT assisted living facility.

Early May, her best friend gives her some left over Vicodin. I started noticing a personality change late May. Memorial weekend was an absolute train wreck, during which she decides to go home, encouraged by her nephew and the best friend. I begged my cousin to not help her, and stated that she'd be dead by the end of August if he helped and allowed her to go home. She was very angry at me for not helping her move back home.

We had no conversations, I tired of her screaming at me, and literally stopped taking her calls.

August 10th, I receive a call from the hospital... Did you know your mom has been here since 7/29, and we desperately need you to immediately go file for guardianship. This was on a Friday afternoon, I was reeling from the news, and didn't understand why my DPOA and PA wasn't valid. Several discussions over the weekend with my own attorneys, and trying to get a handle on the situation, and trying to understand what the hospitals problem was... overwhelming doesn't even begin to describe it. Bottom line, by the time they had called me, she was toast... now it was about managing her end of life desires. Monday morning I was at probate court filing the paperwork, against the advice of my attorneys who said the hospital had no standing. I chose the easy route and jumped through their hoop. There is actually a long story behind that, and in defense of the hospital, they were trying to balance out the conflicting legal issues. Emergency hearing is granted for the following Monday, and they appointed a Guardian ad litem, who I could just kiss! She was wonderful in dealing with the hospital, my delusional paranoia sister, and the "enablers". The hospital literally needed a sober grown up to make some decisions.

We were able to put in place Hospice and DNR, which were her verbal and written end of life decisions.

At the Emergency hearing, at the recommendation of the GAL, I withdrew my emergency petition, but left standing the permanent petition, hearing scheduled for three weeks later. I had walked into that court room expecting to see a roomful of attorney's based on all the emails, phone calls, and txt msg during the previous week... nothing. although there was one young suit who said nothing and left immediately after the judge rulings.

Those three weeks were living HELL, why she put so much energy trying to prevent dying instead of using it to live in the first place in beyond me. Even the nurses were calling her the iron lady. the hospital chaplain called my cousin and her best friend "evil evil people". Further suggested the best friend should climb on her broom and fly out of there... this was the CHAPLIN!

Day before the permanent hearing, I called the GAL and suggested we adjourn the hearing for a couple of weeks, which she took care of. My delusional paranoia sister was non stop and relentless with the txt msg, phone calls, etc.

There's a whole lot of other stuff that was going on through this process, but less then two hours after she passed, I received a txt msg, "when do you want to schedule the reading of the will"... That pretty much summed everything up.

Yesterday morning, I woke up extremely unsettled, and called the hospital as soon as I had an opportunity. I normally called every afternoon, not in the morning. She passed a few hours after that phone call. their news in the morning had not been good, but hell, she was three weeks into hospice!

Now just trying to get my head leveled out and somewhat normal again. We're waiting for my sister to authorize the cremation (required by all interested party's in MI), so that can be taken care of. I've fronted the money, which the estate will pay back. Kind of funny, my dead broke sister wants this huge funeral, and I had to ask how she's going to pay for it I've got her talked down to a memorial service at mom's fav restaurant... but still who's going to pay for it? I know to never talk to my sister pat mid afternoon, the drinking issue begins to take hold and feeds into the delusional paranoia.

As much as I'd like to thing the fun is over, it's only just beginning, especially since the best friend is also the personal representative. I'm thinking court oversight is in my best interest. At least now, it's no longer emotional, it's business
Whew that's really heavy stuff man hope everything turns out well. My father was an alcoholic we almost lost him but after months in rehab and hospitals and surveys he maid it through and has been clean and sober for 10 years can't imagine if it woulda went the other way my thoughts and prayers are with you
__________________
"You can all go to Hell and I will go to Texas"
gearhead396 is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-2012, 02:17 AM   #3
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
dog2000tj's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 8,309
Liked 3740 Times on 1828 Posts
Likes Given: 13270

Default

My sincere condolences for your loss partdeux
__________________
Member: NRA GOA

ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
Est sularas oth mithas

"either way, you were guilty by association, so you were smited...." JD
dog2000tj is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-2012, 02:21 AM   #4
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Gatoragn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: North GA. Back home in Dixieland.
Posts: 3,641
Liked 1322 Times on 749 Posts
Likes Given: 576

Default

My heartfelt condolences on the loss of your mother. Prayers in bound for you in this time of distress.

Do not make any decisions in haste. Talk with an attorney that specializes in wills and estates in MI.
Gatoragn is online now  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-2012, 02:27 AM   #5
FTF_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
colmustard's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,155
Liked 260 Times on 146 Posts
Likes Given: 542

Default

I am sorry to hear of your loss. Prayers for you and yours.
__________________
"A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government."
--George Washington
colmustard is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-2012, 02:31 AM   #6
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
fupuk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Grand Rapids,Michigan
Posts: 1,672
Liked 286 Times on 206 Posts
Likes Given: 2

Default

Sorry to hear about your mom. Hope you keep your head up, it will get better.
fupuk is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-2012, 02:37 AM   #7
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
fireguy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Wichita,Kansas
Posts: 1,853
Liked 52 Times on 33 Posts
Likes Given: 60

Default

Sorry to hear about your loss. It sounds like a real mess, hope you can make it through the aftermath intact.
__________________
Join the NRA! Stop the Brady madness!
fireguy is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-2012, 03:24 AM   #8
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Mosin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 5,583
Liked 4753 Times on 2369 Posts
Likes Given: 1140

Default

Prayers outbound....
__________________
Arbitrary enforcement of the law is the mark of tyranny. Citizens will always fight against it.
Mosin is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-2012, 03:28 AM   #9
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
vincent's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: MLF
Posts: 4,122
Liked 1961 Times on 1033 Posts
Likes Given: 4288

Default

Very sorry you've had to go through all that...as if losing your Mom wasn't enough stress to deal with.

Thoughts and prayers friend...
__________________
EFFIN' TOF...
vincent is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-2012, 04:08 AM   #10
The Stanley Cup winners......the Blackhawks
FTF_ADMIN.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
winds-of-change's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Northern Illinois
Posts: 25,573
Liked 8921 Times on 5337 Posts
Likes Given: 11925

Default

I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your Mother. Then to add the mess to it makes it that much unbearable. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Stay strong.
__________________
Honor Student: School of Hard Knocks
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
Quando Omni Flunkus Moritatus
winds-of-change is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Firearms Forum Replies Last Post
I have just passed NPTU JiroZero713 The Club House 9 10-18-2011 01:53 AM
New gun law in Ohio passed Glockpotion23 Concealed Carrying & Personal Protection 5 10-04-2011 03:56 PM
Finished and passed Dzscubie Training & Safety 13 04-18-2011 02:41 PM
Mr. Cunningham has passed away cpttango30 The Club House 8 10-21-2010 04:32 PM
House just passed it Kelly J Politics, Religion and Controversy 14 11-09-2009 12:00 AM



Newest Threads