[Benning Boy]

Since nobody seems to give a Van Damme about my plight, I will go with whatever option you guys decide as my next course of action. I will continue on the course until Mr. Norris at least sends me an autograph.

1) Walker Beard- I will not shave until Mr. Norris acknowledges me.

2) The Mohawk Manly Thread- I will post one citation a day to honor Mohawks non-ghey.

3) The Norris ignores Benny day count sig- My sig will reflect the number of days Mr. Norris ignores me.

4) The Cowboy hat- I shall wear my cowboy hat permanently except for sleep and patriotic displays such as the National Anthem, etcetera.

5) The pitiful open letter to Chuck thread- I will start a thread and write an emotional, heartfelt letter to Mr. Norris once a day until I get a response.

6) Other- Anything anybody suggests to make Chuck at least send me an autograph.

You alone can stop this madness, Mr. Norris. I'm your biggest fan.

[Jo da Plumbr]

I voted other.

I say kidnap Christy Brinkley and hold her hostage till you get Chuck's attention. Of course his attention will be in the form of a roundhouse kick to the head. But hey, think of the stories you'll have to tell if you live.

[Benning Boy]

Originally Posted by Jo da Plumbr

I voted other.

I say kidnap Christy Brinkley and hold her hostage till you get Chuck's attention. Of course his attention will be in the form of a roundhouse kick to the head. But hey, think of the stories you'll have to tell if you live.

If I thought there was a chance of survivng the roundhouse, this would be an excellent plan.

Since that isn't in the realm of possibilty, I must decline.

[notdku]

Here's my thought, I voted beard, but I realized the potential of this. We will completely reenact a seen from WTR. His Norris alarm will be activated and he will be forced to help the helpless indigenous folks that we are victimizing, through land appropriation. When he gets there we will immediately stop the ruse and break into our martial arts routines, pacifying his need for action. At which point you can break from the crowd and ask him to shake your hand. That should work.

[CA357]

I voted other, but I really haven't a clue other than a Benning fan letter. However, I did find this:

[DrumJunkie]

The Beard thing might be funny if it gets to a Billy Gibbons type deal before the autograph comes

[Shihan]

I am going to work some angles for you. I will see what I can do. If not Chuck Norris, I can definitely get you an autographed photo of Linda Lavin.

[ScottG]

Originally Posted by Shihan

I am going to work some angles for you. I will see what I can do. If not Chuck Norris, I can definitely get you an autographed photo of Linda Lavin.

Man, those things are very pricey these days! I think you can get a set of Linda Lavin trading cards on EGay, one side has Alice stills and the other side has Barney Miller stills. Of course if you're really interested, Polly Holliday can kiss your grits for a sawbuck....

As for Benning, why not just write to his agent and beg?

[Deadman1]

But... I thought all Norris fans already had the beard??




Best Walker Texas Ranger quote:

"Ranger Cordell Walker: I think our next place to search is where military and wannabe military types hang out.

Ranger Jimmy Trivette: Does that mean the Hunt Club?

Ranger Cordell Walker: Yep!

Ranger Jimmy Trivette: Nobody goes into the Hunt Club without a S.W.A.T. escort.

Ranger Cordell Walker: We do!"

[gorknoids]

It has to be the letter-writing campaign. It will be a personal journey for both of you.
I've met Sir Charles twice, as he is a huge supporter of our military, and has a friend who was once the CO of USS JFK. Lugged a gift that he gave the skipper's wife to her MG while the three of them walked and talked, actually. And "No", he will not remember me, but his right foot is tracking the GPS coordinates of my left temple to this very day. An elephant might never forget, but Chuck Norris's feet never lose radar lock.