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Marriage!!


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Old 09-11-2012, 07:34 AM   #41
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Good for you for being strong and committing to talking to him. Stay strong and best of luck! Supportive Thoughts are with you.
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Old 09-12-2012, 11:40 PM   #42
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So?!?!?!? How'd the talk with your father go?
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Old 09-13-2012, 12:08 AM   #43
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I read about all I could stand and skipped ahead. I have been very happily mairried for almost 17 years. My wife is the most wonderful person in the world. Listen carefully. The only way to have a successful marriage is to care more about your spouse than yourself. The same thing goes for your daughter. The problem with your dad is your problem. Man up. Tell him to back off. I would never let my father drink and drive with my kid. If that is how he is, you are yours are better off without him.

Wake up each morning wondering what can I do for her today. Don't worry about what she is going to do for you. When she sees that you really care she will start doing the same thing.

Again, I will have my 17th aniversary in December. We have never had a fight. We have never yelled at each other. People are selfish. If you want to have a truly happy marriage you must change your way of thinking.

Not trying to come down on you. Just telling you what you really need to hear.
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Old 09-13-2012, 12:56 AM   #44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rurak View Post
Thanks to everyone for the advice. I DO know i what i have to do but its difficult for.me. i am working alone with him tomorrow so i think tomorrow will be the day. He doesnt think anything he ever does is wrong....ever and he is always right no matter what so...... i am not holding high expectations for the outcome. I really would love for him to say "i can respect that" but i think he is going to blame my wife mostly....... oh well i cant control the outcome i guess
I would talk to him without making him defensive. Use I lot of "We feel..." and "It would be best if....." Try not to say things like "You shouldn't do.....", etc.

A lot of hassle can be avoided by how you say something.
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Old 09-13-2012, 01:16 AM   #45
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Men respect stand up men and saying what they mean when they say. This is how it has to be with my family.......safety first, your feelings are second. Be a man and stand up for what is right, be nice but direct, don't be weak about. It not your wife's fault, it is decided by both of you, or you take all the blame. I have done this many times with my own in-laws and family members. I don't come to your house if you don't like the way I raise my family, I don't want to be around people like that. I go on my and lead my family in a good way, I go to church, don't hate, just help. Let me shoot my guns, go to my kids sports, say grace....if you ain't into that I don't give a ****!
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Old 09-13-2012, 05:40 AM   #46
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Quote:
Originally Posted by winds-of-change View Post
I would talk to him without making him defensive. Use I lot of "We feel..." and "It would be best if....." Try not to say things like "You shouldn't do.....", etc.

A lot of hassle can be avoided by how you say something.
I agree with the whole not saying "You shouldn't do" Thing, but while woman to woman it would be better if it was a we type of thing, man to man might be better if it is an I type of thing.

Guys, please correct me if Im wrong.
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Old 09-13-2012, 01:12 PM   #47
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Originally Posted by Eturnsdale View Post
I agree with the whole not saying "You shouldn't do" Thing, but while woman to woman it would be better if it was a we type of thing, man to man might be better if it is an I type of thing.

Guys, please correct me if Im wrong.
You're right. When having a man to man talk, using "we" all the time will make the other guy think your wife is telling you what to say. In the OP's situation he needs to stand up to his father, something that probably should have been done a long time ago.
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Old 09-13-2012, 01:43 PM   #48
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Yay, I understand men.
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“Every person's life is theirs by right. An individual's life can and must belong only to to himself, not to any society or community, or he is then but a slave.”

“If you are unwilling to defend your right to your own lives, then you are merely like mice trying to argue with owls. You think their ways are wrong. They think you are dinner.”

“Pity for the guilty is treason to the innocent."

“Not everyone is willing to embrace liberty; liberty requires not just effort, but risk. Some people choose to delude themselves and see their chains as protective armor.”
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Old 09-13-2012, 01:45 PM   #49
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Yay, I understand men.
Lmaooooooo
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Old 09-13-2012, 01:46 PM   #50
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eturnsdale
Yay, I understand men.
Only what we let you understand
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