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Old 12-14-2011, 04:05 PM   #11
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A kid throwing a tantrum is a better-indicator of 'abuse' or 'neglect'. Kids who have discipline problems often have parents who don't love them enough to set boundaries; nor take their jobs as parents seriously.
Point well taken. I got whumped, spanked, grounded and I'm better for it.
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Old 12-14-2011, 04:33 PM   #12
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While a "kid throwing a tantrum"at be an indicator of an abusive parent/guardian. I would hardly consider that to be the likely cause.
Children are, well, children, and aren't emotionally capable of dealing w/ many of life's situations. That's where a good parent comes in setting boundaries, limitations, and creating a secure nurturing environment. Sometimes this may involve some physical discipline (cause that's how you send an IMMEDIATE signal that some behavior will not be tolerated). Abuse is caused by a parents inability to control their own emotions.
Legislating every adults responsibility to report "suspected abuse" to the authorities? That's a recipe for abuse right there...

And Sanduskys wife? You might be surprised what type of behavior can be overlooked or misunderstood in a long term relationship. I would believe that she truly believes he is innocent. Because even if she understood the signs of what was happening her psyche may not have allowed her to accept that she married a MONSTER...

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Old 12-14-2011, 04:49 PM   #13
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How many kids do you have?
2

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I only ask because I love my kid, I spend time with my kid, set boundaries, and I discipline him anytime he needs it. My mom did the same to me.
Excellent.

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Now I as a child, and my son too, have both been known to lose our cool and throw a total fit on occasions (he got a belt last night for said behavior, because he started screaming at me that he didn't want to do his homework)
I was never allowed to throw a fit in public; nor were my kids. My kids have never had a melt-down. Worse they've done is be whiny. When my kids see brats they have whispered to me "...that kids mommy doesn't love them enough to give them a spankin', huh?"

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Does that indicate to you that me or my kid have been abused?

That would be funny, considering the awards he gets in school, and the father of the year awards I got for our involvement in the community and his involvement in school functions. I know that's not what make a good parent, but I don't see an abusive parent taking the time to get to that point.

And I'll tell any one, my mom was not abusive, even if I did lose my sh! T on several occasions as a kid.
Permissive, weak parenting is abusive.

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Originally Posted by H2oWerker View Post
While a "kid throwing a tantrum"at be an indicator of an abusive parent/guardian. I would hardly consider that to be the likely cause.
Children are, well, children, and aren't emotionally capable of dealing w/ many of life's situations. That's where a good parent comes in setting boundaries, limitations, and creating a secure nurturing environment. Sometimes this may involve some physical discipline (cause that's how you send an IMMEDIATE signal that some behavior will not be tolerated). Abuse is caused by a parents inability to control their own emotions.
Legislating every adults responsibility to report "suspected abuse" to the authorities? That's a recipe for abuse right there...
Absolutely - setting boundaries. I'm saying neglecting to discipline a child IS abuse. It's a travesty. Frankly, I see more people who underestimate childrens' ability to control themselves. I hear it frequently "Oh...little johnny LIKES to watch Family Guy, so I let him. It's easier than telling him no and dealing with the fit he'll throw!" And, from a parent to a brat "You better stop that! Stop it. Right now! Look, I'm not telling you again...one!!! TWO!!!! THREE-Hey now...stop that right this instant!! ONE!!!"
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Old 12-14-2011, 05:04 PM   #14
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If you or your kids never threw a fit in public, that tells me one of three things, and I'm not trying to be negatively critical here, A. You don't remember it. B. You and your kids matured quicker than many. Or C. You and your parents were/are using different techniques than me or mine. No parent is perfect, and not many parents are exactly the same.

I had not enough control of my anger until I was almost 20, but I knew very well what was acceptable behavior and what was not. My son just a few days ago had a total meltdown in walmart because he wanted a toy but I knew full well the same toy is already sitting under the christmas tree. I was able to point my finger at him and he shut up immediately.

I didn't want to imply anything about you or your kids, but you didn't add any kind of extenuating circumstance to your other post, and I don't find a single tantrum indicative of abuse. It appears obvious to me that this is not exactly what you meant.

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Old 12-14-2011, 05:30 PM   #15
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maybe you and I differ on the definition of 'fit'? or 'meltdown'?

I tried to write 'when kids have a meltdown in public it's more-credible evidence of 'abuse or neglect' than a parent spanking a kid when they need it. I think you're reading into what i wrote and trying to single out specifics, but the main point is - neglecting to enforce discipline lessons on kids is abusive in terms of 'failing a child'.

If a parent's child meltsdown; if a kid can't control themselves - not talking about a kid being a kid, but the meltdowns we all see (google 'kid has meltdown at store'), it's a sign the kid is being neglected.

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Old 12-14-2011, 05:33 PM   #16
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Okay then, we're on the same page. Yes, I read too much into your previous post, or too little, depending on the angle and lighting.

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Old 12-14-2011, 05:50 PM   #17
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Old 12-14-2011, 05:53 PM   #18
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This is scary $H!T!! More nanny stating!

I have to LMAO! My old man was not abusive by any stretch. He BEAT my @$$ on a daily basis. But i NEVER took a beating i didnt earn!

Another telling point...i aint never had an issue with the law in my 40+ years!

To this day i DO NOT fear cops or courts. But i fear that hard nosed sumbiotch...and hes been dead nigh on 14 years!!

OH! And the WORST @$$ whoopin's i ever took was from my momma!

A LOT Of the problems with todays society is this kind of nanny stating and CPS.

::A story of a parents love::

I am sure anyone with a "spirted" teenager can relate to this tale...

Back during the summer months i told my daughter to do the dishes (thats her chore) she popped off on me. (for the record, shes NOT a bad kid or a problem child...its simply she and I are oil and water) I repeated the order. She went into a tantrum. I backhanded her in the mouth! (open hand, back of my fingers, fingers loose) The intent was NOT to hurt, but to drive home the point. She FREAKED, double handed me to the chest, set me back a step or two. (I was IMPRESSED, i am not a small or weak person and to have her skinny little 5'1" 100lb self knock me back was, well, impressive, made me proud...SILENTLY proud) Anywho, it was ON then, I exploded! Snatched her little insolent @$$ up, tossed over my shoulder and marched up the stairs with her kicking and screaming the whole way and plopped her, uncerimoniously in her bad and told her to STAY! Well, I am sure you can guess how that went over with my spirited child.

I then MARCHED for my barn, grabbed a beer, did some deep breating excercises and tried to calm down!

Maybe 15 minutes later, as i am sitting at my picinic table under the old hickory tree, i see a city cruiser pull up out front, out she hops with the officer. I see him point at the front steps and she sits down. He comes down and asks "Whats going on?" in an exasperated tone of voice. I then explain what had happened.

We both go up front and he politely explains to her that where corporal punishment is NOT illegal in the state of IN and that as a father i have the right to discipline my children, she DOES NOT have the right to lay a hand on me. He then turns to me and asks "Sir, would you like for me to take her to ACJC (juvinile detention) for assault and battery?" (OHHHH i was sorely tempted) but i said "No. Its all good officer, no blood no foul." Really I was thinking i really didnt want this $H!T on my daughters record. He nods, knowingly (being a father himself) I thank him and apologize for this waste of his time, and he leaves.

Well, it turns out it wasnt my daughter that called the law...it was her friends MOTHER that stuck her nose in where it didnt belong and caused the issue. After finding THAT out, i thought i SHOULD have sent her @$$ to juvenile jail! And then explained to my daughter that it was her FRIEND that got her put there!

Anwho, then i got a visit from CPS. I laughed at the dumb b!tch more than once, She says "What do you find so funny?" in her bitchy attitude. I said "i find it funny that YOU are in MY house trying to tell ME how to run MY home!! YOU and YOUR agency are one of the myriad of problems in this country! These kids get disciplined and they decide they dont have to listen to those EVIL parents and just call you idiots! NOW, take that insolent girl and get her and yourself OUT of my house. Put her @$$ in foster care and see how well she likes living in a "loving home" like THAT" (my wife about collapsed when i said that) The nanny stater, taken aback by my bluntness, then said, "Sir, we're not in the buisiness of "snatch and grab" kids" I then said, "well then, our business here is DONE. GET OUT of my home!"

Two weeks later i got a letter from CPS saying that the investigation was complete and found in favor of the father and no further action was required by the agency.

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ANYWHO, where i do KNOW there actually ARE children at risk, and there IS a need for agencies like CPS. TOO often as with any and all Govt agencies, they take their power and control WAY beyond the original scope.

This law is but another example. Every day a new law is introduced to make even less free!
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Old 12-14-2011, 05:54 PM   #19
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:clink:

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Old 12-14-2011, 05:59 PM   #20
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I don't know about back handing, but I've seen the videos of one of your kids. Doesn't appear to be a child in an unhappy home.

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