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Old 04-06-2013, 08:42 PM   #61
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Have the same/ opposite situation. Since my divorce I have let a friend stay with me. His divorce was way worse than mine. He came home from Iraq still temporarily deaf and with his shoulder torn up from a roadside bomb that blew up the truck he was driving, to find his wifes boyfriend living in his house. In the mess that followed the wife managed to get a bruise and had him arrested for domestic violence. He later found out the she had been screwing a couple of cops in advance of this to make it stick easier.

This guy is working two jobs, he does not do drugs, he is subject to random testing where he works so I know he is clean. Every time he gets a little money ahead to help with the bills around here one of his daughters calls and needs money for something or other.

The other problem is he is too helpful around the house, when he does dishes he does not get them clean and I have to redo them, if he puts the dry dishes away I can't find them when I need them. I know the last of these is petty but it drives me nuts when I can't find the tool, or pan, or whatever when I need it.

I don't want to throw him out, It really is not costing me anything for him to be here. The bills would be the same either way. But I am going nuts dealing with him.
Sounds like you're married and destined for another divorce soon! Have you two considered counseling?
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Old 04-06-2013, 08:46 PM   #62
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I signed a letter of responsibility which allowed my little brother ( 56 years old ) to get out of prison 2 years early but I am responsible for his actions to an extent.

I allowed him to move into my trailer at the gravel pit that I use as an office ( 14 X 70 with a 12 X 28 add on ) 3 bed rooms. So I can still use the living room and kitchen as meeting rooms and the rest room.

He has a degree in Computer Aided Drafting and won many awards at Naval Avionics until the drugs took over his life. I have put restrictions and requirements on him but I have to keep pressing him to get a job, or at least look for one. With my pushing he is enrolled with Vocational Rehabilitation at WorkOne and I make him work in the gravel pit when he is not doing anything else. I make him do the jobs he does not like in an effort to encourage him to strike out on his own.

I also made it clear that the local SWAT teams train in my pit and drug dogs will be there several times every week. I told him this before his release and he stated I was trying to keep him locked back up. I stated no I was telling him before hand so that that there would be no surprises and he would not even try to sneak drugs again.

He feels I am not doing enough for him, he wants a better car ( I let him drive an old 1998 Cavalier ) wants Dish Network, wants hi speed internet, the list goes on.

I am about ready to call the parole officer and state “Things are not working out” as part of the condition of release states that is all I have to do and he will go back for the remainder of his term. I have told him this and he will “find Jesus” for a week or so then right back to the old ways.

Bottom line, friend, family or whoever they will all take advantage if allowed. My brother might make it 2 years and I really hope so but he might not as well and it will be because of his actions not mine!
Dude, a little balance. You're his brother not his warden or mother. Give him the reasonable space you'd like yourself under the same circumstances. You want this all to work out, right?
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Old 04-06-2013, 08:50 PM   #63
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Dude, a little balance. Your his brother not his warden or mother. Give him the reasonable space you'd like yourself under the same circumstances. You want this all to work out, right?
in this situation where he signed a letter of responsibility, he is partially responsible for his brothers actions. so his brother can always make a choice. either abide by brothers rules or go back to prison.
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Old 04-06-2013, 08:50 PM   #64
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Are these full length straws or does kitty perhaps have a lil problem with the Nip?


One of my cats once hid a cashed paycheck a roommate of mine left on the coffee table. He finally saw her running down the hall with a $5 and followed her to the stash. More recently, I think one of them has snagged my mag loader for the .45.

Good roommate training.
Full sized drinking straws.

I don't have any Nip around the house right now though it does grow in my backyard. My cats don't need any Nip. They're crazy enough as it is.
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Old 04-06-2013, 10:24 PM   #65
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Full sized drinking straws.

I don't have any Nip around the house right now though it does grow in my backyard. My cats don't need any Nip. They're crazy enough as it is.
So I'm guessing there isn't any blow around that kitty might have found?
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Old 04-07-2013, 01:16 AM   #66
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in this situation where he signed a letter of responsibility, he is partially responsible for his brothers actions. so his brother can always make a choice. either abide by brothers rules or go back to prison.
It is not just my rules - - - part of his parole states that if he is convicted of "Any wrongdoing " including but not limited to moving traffic violations he will go back - - - On Christmas Eve he was picked up for DUI but was released as he only blew 0.07 and 0.08 is the limit here. The cop told him it was an early Christmas present that he was allowed to go home. I think if they had done a blood test they would have found he was on something else as well as alcohol - - - it cost me about $500.00 to get my car back and I had to get up at 4:00AM and get him from the jail. About a month later he was texting while driving and one of my Deputy Sheriff buddies had to run his cruiser off the road to avoid a head on collision - - - My buddy did not cite him but let him off with a good chewing out then 3 days later my brother ran a 4 way stop sign and was reported to 911.

I wonder if in the back of his mind he wants to go back. The last time he was arrested he was high on something and it took 7 officers and 2 tazers to get him in cuffs and arrested - - - when he is high he gets very violent.

The entire swat team was out for training and we had a sit down and they all told him they are not going to cut him any more slack. While the deputies and city officers are here for training he always gets them soft drinks and is helpful as possible to stay in their good graces and that has gotten him thru a couple of jams but he has to start being a productive member of society!
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Old 04-07-2013, 01:39 AM   #67
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It is not just my rules - - - part of his parole states that if he is convicted of "Any wrongdoing " including but not limited to moving traffic violations he will go back - - - On Christmas Eve he was picked up for DUI but was released as he only blew 0.07 and 0.08 is the limit here. The cop told him it was an early Christmas present that he was allowed to go home. I think if they had done a blood test they would have found he was on something else as well as alcohol - - - it cost me about $500.00 to get my car back and I had to get up at 4:00AM and get him from the jail. About a month later he was texting while driving and one of my Deputy Sheriff buddies had to run his cruiser off the road to avoid a head on collision - - - My buddy did not cite him but let him off with a good chewing out then 3 days later my brother ran a 4 way stop sign and was reported to 911.

I wonder if in the back of his mind he wants to go back. The last time he was arrested he was high on something and it took 7 officers and 2 tazers to get him in cuffs and arrested - - - when he is high he gets very violent.

The entire swat team was out for training and we had a sit down and they all told him they are not going to cut him any more slack. While the deputies and city officers are here for training he always gets them soft drinks and is helpful as possible to stay in their good graces and that has gotten him thru a couple of jams but he has to start being a productive member of society!
Sounds like he should be back in the Big House. He's had more breaks in the past few months than I have gotten (or would need) in my whole life! Then again, I don't do drugs either.
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Old 04-07-2013, 05:23 AM   #68
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Out-Out-Out-Out. I SAID OUT!!!!!!

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Old 04-08-2013, 01:48 AM   #69
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Thanks to this thread, wife and I had a talk. Long story, but she's going to handle this one, and I'm good with it. Just so happened the oldest called off work today, of her brand new job, while on probation. In my wife's own words, her head was spinning and her eyes were glowing. I missed all the fun

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Old 04-08-2013, 01:50 AM   #70
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Give him a set date to get out if he hasn't already. Otherwise you did what I would do

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