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Kicking my best friend out advice please


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Old 04-05-2013, 01:06 AM   #31
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Quote:
Originally Posted by axxe55 View Post
the sooner you learn the word no, the better off you will be.
I know that but I still feel like a jerk. Especially since I will be letting a mutual friend move in if she decides to. (She is also a cousin of mine)
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Old 04-05-2013, 01:17 AM   #32
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Quote:
Originally Posted by axxe55
Gearhead, you're doing the right thing. you know it and we know it. is it easy? no and it may cause hard feeling between the two of you. such is life. you tried to be a good friend and help a buddy out and it sounds like he took advantage of that friendship. hold your head up and let it be known, you did the right thing for the wrong person.
Thanks axxe I always look forward to your input!
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Old 04-05-2013, 04:17 AM   #33
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Nobody can take advantage of you unless you allow them to. He was taking advantage of you and you stopped allowing it.

Any bets on how long he will be taking advantage of his parents? If he is a pot smoker my guess will be forever. Never, and I mean never, ever, let a doper move in "temporarily".
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Old 04-05-2013, 06:03 AM   #34
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If he were really a good friend, he would feel bad he was a pain in the butt to you and apologize for inconveniencing you. Then he would either pull his weight around the house or move in with his Mom.
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Old 04-05-2013, 06:33 AM   #35
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Best friends are that because they have their own home.
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Old 04-05-2013, 08:20 AM   #36
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Once a mooch, always a mooch. Some jurisdictions, you cannot kick him out, he has to want to leave. If you cannot kick him out, you leave, and let him pay the rent. If your name is on a lease, and you cannot kick him out, live and learn.

So, in the eyes of the law, you both have equal rights to the home space, that makes you a domestic partnership, for legal ramifications. If you guys get into any small tisk where the police are called, and this roommate says anything like, you threatened him (asking him to leave is threatening) , say goodbye to your guns, or your ability to pass a national guns check.



Good luck.

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Old 04-05-2013, 09:52 AM   #37
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A friend would appreciate all you have done and not want to cause you any discomfort. A more than sufficient amount of time has gone by for the guy to find a job. Even some part-time work to help out until this this....real good job...panned out.

To get all bent out of shape, call names, and any other BS is proof the guy is trying to mistake your kindness for stupidity. Something a friend does not do. I'm sure if a time of need comes along this...friend, will use this as an excuse to not return any favors.

Any friend would say OK, I"m sorry I was a burden, and be non his way long before now.
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Old 04-05-2013, 10:51 AM   #38
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Friendship is an equal partnership, when the scales remain unbalanced like that for any extended period of time, you just become more of a surrogate Dad. Unfortunately, unlike Dad, as Buddies, setting rules is often an act of futility that leads to anger. You did the right thing, let him learn of his own power and stop sapping yours!
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Old 04-05-2013, 09:07 PM   #39
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No easy answer - even St. Paul said not to stay more than 3 days at one place so evangelist would not impose a burden on their host.

When does a friend cease to be a friend and become a burden ? It sounds like he has been useful around the house or done what he could do but has been unable to contribute financially. This economy is hard on everyone. If there is no work that is one thing, however, if he refuses to work because he's comfortable taking advantage of your charity, that is unacceptable.

Only you know the Truth and it may even be a combination. You have a right to be happy and it sounds like your present situation is untenable. Wish him well on his way out the door. .
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Old 04-06-2013, 02:07 AM   #40
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Well friend is packed up and gone and I feel good got my place to my self! Thanks for everyone's advice I don't feel near as bad thanks to y'all!
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