A dentist in Northwestern Ontario was sweeping up one afternoon when a French trapper came through the door telling saying that he needed a tooth pulled. The dentist sat him in the chair and began the examination.
The trapper had a severely infected molar, and between the pus and the swelling, the dentist could barely tell where the tooth was.
After determining that the tooth had to come out, he produced a syringe full of Novacaine and approached the patient.
"What the Hell are you doin' Doc? Jess pull de' damned toot!" The dentist explained that he needed to numb the site, because the pain was going to be unbearable otherwise. The trapper said "I ain't payin' for dat ****, and I don't need it. There's only 2 tings ever hurt me."
The dentist complied with the trapper's wishes, and after 20 minutes of cracking bone and wiping up bloody pus and stitching up the crater, the dentist was writing up the bill. He looked up at the trapper and said "That had to hurt like Hell, and you never batted an eye. I'd just like to know what ever DID hurt you."
The trapper said, "Well, one mornin' I was checkin' beaver traps, and I had to walk tru a pond to git to mah sets. I was wearin' chest waders, and the water pressure on mah guts made me have to take a crap. I rushes up to de' top of de' beaver dam, gets my waders down, and squat. Well, I shat right in de' pan of the trap, and she slammed shut on my nuts, an' I took off a-runnin'. "
The dentist recoiled and said "I have to say, that certainly does sound excruciating. What was the 2nd thing that ever caused you pain?"
"Well, when I ran out of chain."