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-   -   The joy of growing old (http://www.firearmstalk.com/forums/f12/joy-growing-old-49409/)

Chainfire 10-06-2011 11:14 PM

The joy of growing old
 
It is very strange and somewhat funny what happens to you as you age. In the last few years, I have cameras shoved up and down every orfice in my body. I have been picked at, prodded, poked and stuck in places you wouldn't want to think about. I have had heart stents run up my arm and into my heart, I peed blood for a week after having a camera run, well you get it. The odd thing is with age, you get used to being violated like this and begin to see humor in it.

Yesterday, I went to see a general surgeon, who happened to also be a very nice looking middle age woman. My problem was what is called a "tag", which is a extra growth of skin that just springs out of the body in the strangest places. This particular "tag" was growing right by my rectum, like a mini-tail. A few years ago, I would have let the thing grow larger than my foot before I would have seen any doctor about it, much less a woman. But, as I said, you get used to this kind of thing.

After this very nice woman examined me and talked to me about the options to make it go away, I gave here a line, I had been thinking about all week:

I put on my best serious face and told her, "Doctor, there is something I am very concerned about, but I am a little shy about asking." She put on her best motherly/doctor face and told me to please ask, she would try to answer any question. I told her I was very concerned about the procedure leaving an ugly scar.

It took everything the poor woman could do not to laugh, she was about to bust until I gave it up and beat her to it. I am a damn good poker player and thought I could keep a straight face a little longer, but I broke down.

She was a good sport and we both had a hearty laugh.

I will report back to you all after the procedure and let you know if she is into paybacks. :)

winds-of-change 10-06-2011 11:19 PM

Great post!!

trip286 10-06-2011 11:42 PM

When asked once if I have had a testicular exam...

I said, "if that's what you want to call it."

fmj 10-07-2011 01:55 AM

LOL! Nice!

When i went in for my endoscopy/colonoscopy, (dad died @ 53 of colon cancer so i figure it prudent to endure such indignities) just before the dope hit my system I looked at the Dr. and VERY fine nurse and said, "Do me a favor?" when they looked and said "yes?" i said "PLEASE, do the endoscopy FIRST!!" :D

JonM 10-07-2011 02:29 AM

your lucky. i would rather have a female doctor doing all that up close and personal. just doesnt seem as gay that way... heh.

Vikingdad 10-07-2011 04:00 AM

Several years ago I filleted the back of my hand with a corn knife while clearing a pipeline trail back in in the woods and went to the ER. The triage nurse asked how it happened and I said "My wife tried to cut my pecker off but fortunately I was masturbating at the time." She was horrified for a few seconds until I told her the truth. This was not too long after John Wayne Bobbitt had his pecker cut off by his wife.

winds-of-change 10-07-2011 04:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vikingdad (Post 595541)
Several years ago I filleted the back of my hand with a corn knife while clearing a pipeline trail back in in the woods and went to the ER. The triage nurse asked how it happened and I said "My wife tried to cut my pecker off but fortunately I was masturbating at the time." She was horrified for a few seconds until I told her the truth. This was not too long after John Wayne Bobbitt had his pecker cut off by his wife.

Oh, mygod!!!!! :eek:

trip286 10-07-2011 12:50 PM

My neighbor is 54 and he came to me worried yesterday right after I found this thread. He's worried because his doctor has ordered him a colonoscopy. Luckily for him, his doc is going to send him to another doctor that will put him to sleep to do it.

Vikingdad 10-07-2011 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by winds-of-change (Post 595573)
Oh, mygod!!!!! :eek:

:D:D:D He he!

Chainfire 10-07-2011 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by trip286 (Post 595710)
My neighbor is 54 and he came to me worried yesterday right after I found this thread. He's worried because his doctor has ordered him a colonoscopy. Luckily for him, his doc is going to send him to another doctor that will put him to sleep to do it.

A colonoscopy is somewhat embarrassing but it is a life-saver. The way they are done now, there is no discomfort. You are, for all practical purposes asleep, even though they told me I wasn't. You don't remember anything after they hit you with the "happy juice".

After a routine colonoscopy saved my best friend's life, I went and got mine.

For those of you who are reaching that age, man up and go get it done. Being a wimp can cost you your life.


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