||10-07-2011 12:14 AM
The joy of growing old
It is very strange and somewhat funny what happens to you as you age. In the last few years, I have cameras shoved up and down every orfice in my body. I have been picked at, prodded, poked and stuck in places you wouldn't want to think about. I have had heart stents run up my arm and into my heart, I peed blood for a week after having a camera run, well you get it. The odd thing is with age, you get used to being violated like this and begin to see humor in it.
Yesterday, I went to see a general surgeon, who happened to also be a very nice looking middle age woman. My problem was what is called a "tag", which is a extra growth of skin that just springs out of the body in the strangest places. This particular "tag" was growing right by my rectum, like a mini-tail. A few years ago, I would have let the thing grow larger than my foot before I would have seen any doctor about it, much less a woman. But, as I said, you get used to this kind of thing.
After this very nice woman examined me and talked to me about the options to make it go away, I gave here a line, I had been thinking about all week:
I put on my best serious face and told her, "Doctor, there is something I am very concerned about, but I am a little shy about asking." She put on her best motherly/doctor face and told me to please ask, she would try to answer any question. I told her I was very concerned about the procedure leaving an ugly scar.
It took everything the poor woman could do not to laugh, she was about to bust until I gave it up and beat her to it. I am a damn good poker player and thought I could keep a straight face a little longer, but I broke down.
She was a good sport and we both had a hearty laugh.
I will report back to you all after the procedure and let you know if she is into paybacks. :)