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Old 04-08-2011, 01:30 AM   #11
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I will most certainly add to this.

Why do men die first?
This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now
we know... It requires a bit of explanation, first:
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race ..... you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework .... you're a pansy.
If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough ..... you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ..... you should get off your lazy ass and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you ..... its equal opportunity .
If you mention how nice she looks ... its sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet .... its male indifference.
If you cry ... you're a wimp.
If you don't .... you're an insensitive bastard.
If you make a decision without consulting her .... you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy ... that's domination.
If SHE asks you ... it's a favor.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear .... you're a pervert.
If you don't ... you're gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're sexist.
If you don't ... you're unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape ..... you're vain.
If you don't ... you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers .... you're after something.
If you don't ... you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements ... you're full of yourself.
If you don't ... you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache ... she's tired.
If you have a headache .... you don't love her anymore.
If you want it too often ... you're oversexed.
If you don't ... there must be someone else.
Why do men die first?



Because they want to.

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Old 04-08-2011, 01:32 AM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dunerunner View Post
My Favorite!!

The correct answer is "A woman to find the instruction book!"

Well Done!!
Do you know why 90% of all instruction manuals are pictures? Because the manufacturers know its probably gonna be a man putting together whatever it is. And we ALL know men don't read. We look at the pictures! Hell, even training manuals are mostly pictures.
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Old 04-08-2011, 01:39 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spittinfire View Post
I will most certainly add to this.

Why do men die first?
This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now
we know... It requires a bit of explanation, first:
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race ..... you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework .... you're a pansy.
If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough ..... you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ..... you should get off your lazy ass and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you ..... its equal opportunity .
If you mention how nice she looks ... its sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet .... its male indifference.
If you cry ... you're a wimp.
If you don't .... you're an insensitive bastard.
If you make a decision without consulting her .... you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy ... that's domination.
If SHE asks you ... it's a favor.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear .... you're a pervert.
If you don't ... you're gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're sexist.
If you don't ... you're unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape ..... you're vain.
If you don't ... you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers .... you're after something.
If you don't ... you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements ... you're full of yourself.
If you don't ... you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache ... she's tired.
If you have a headache .... you don't love her anymore.
If you want it too often ... you're oversexed.
If you don't ... there must be someone else.
Why do men die first?



Because they want to.
absolutely qfmft
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Old 04-08-2011, 02:03 AM   #14
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Aristrocrats! (oops, wrong thread)

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Old 04-08-2011, 04:36 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VICTIMNOMORE View Post
Oo oo, I want to play

<------I'm a smart ars too.

Q. How can you tell when a man is well hung?
A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?
A. Trustworthy.

Q. What do you call the useless piece of skin on the end of a man's penis?
A. His body.

Q. What should you give a man who has everything?
A. A woman to show him how to work it.

Q. What's a man's idea of honestly in a relationship?
A. Telling you his real name.

Q. What's the difference between Big Foot and intelligent man?
A. Big Foot's been spotted a several times.

Q. Why do men name their penises?
A. Because they don't like the idea of having a stranger make 90% of their decisions.

Q. When do you care for a man's company?
A. When he owns it.
Well done. I think you'll do just fine here...
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