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Old 09-07-2012, 04:40 PM   #951
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Quote:
Originally Posted by woody63m View Post
Its a pig in a wig but on a more serious note i actually thought it was a dude!!! Thats one manly chick
I took another look at it - er - her. That sure looks like a scrotum hangin' outta those "panties".
Have you ever seen a "Krispy Kreme Kalendar"?
I got one for Christmas many years ago. It had a Krispy Kreme Girl Of the Month on each page. They all looked like that, but were naked. enough to turn yer stomach!

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Old 09-07-2012, 04:53 PM   #952
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AIKIJUTSU

I took another look at it - er - her. That sure looks like a scrotum hangin' outta those "panties".
Have you ever seen a "Krispy Kreme Kalendar"?
I got one for Christmas many years ago. It had a Krispy Kreme Girl Of the Month on each page. They all looked like that, but were naked. enough to turn yer stomach!
Please dont ruin doughnuts for me please god no!!!!!!
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Old 09-07-2012, 09:28 PM   #953
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Both of my sister-in-laws have worked at " Buffalo Bill's " on the west side of Indianapolis.

The whole side of the building is a help wanted poster.

"Help wanted
GO GO Girls wanted
no one under 400# need apply"




It is one of the busiest strip clubs in Indy!

Both of them have come home with up to $300.00 per night in tips and that is after leaving 1/2 to the owners!
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Old 09-08-2012, 10:01 PM   #954
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The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Akio, a bright foreign exchange student from Japan , who had his hand up: "Patrick Henry, 1775," he said.

"Very good! -- Who said, 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth'?"
Again, no response except from Little Akio: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

"Excellent!" said the teacher continuing, "Let's try one a bit more difficult -- Who said, 'Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your Country?"

Once again, Akio's was the only hand in the air and he said: "John F. Kennedy, 1961."

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed of yourselves, Little Akio isn't originally from this country and he knows more about our history than you Do."
She heard a loud whisper: "F_ _ k the Japs."

"Who said that? -- I want to know right now!? She angrily demanded.
Little Akio put his hand up, "General MacArthur, 1945."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke.'

The teacher glares around and asks, 'All right! -- Now who said that?"
Again, Little Akio says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? -- Suck this!"
Little Akio jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said, "You little ****! -- If you say anything else -- I'll kill you!"
Little Akio frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Michael Jackson to the children testifying against him, 2004."

The teacher fainted. As the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh ****, We're screwed!"

Little Akio said quietly, "The American people, November 4, 2008."
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Old 09-08-2012, 10:40 PM   #955
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Hahaha I love that one.
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Revelation 19:11

And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war.
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Old 09-09-2012, 10:47 PM   #956
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Daoust_Nat
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Akio, a bright foreign exchange student from Japan , who had his hand up: "Patrick Henry, 1775," he said.

"Very good! -- Who said, 'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth'?"
Again, no response except from Little Akio: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

"Excellent!" said the teacher continuing, "Let's try one a bit more difficult -- Who said, 'Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your Country?"

Once again, Akio's was the only hand in the air and he said: "John F. Kennedy, 1961."

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed of yourselves, Little Akio isn't originally from this country and he knows more about our history than you Do."
She heard a loud whisper: "F_ _ k the Japs."

"Who said that? -- I want to know right now!? She angrily demanded.
Little Akio put his hand up, "General MacArthur, 1945."
At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke.'

The teacher glares around and asks, 'All right! -- Now who said that?"
Again, Little Akio says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? -- Suck this!"
Little Akio jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said, "You little ****! -- If you say anything else -- I'll kill you!"
Little Akio frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Michael Jackson to the children testifying against him, 2004."

The teacher fainted. As the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh ****, We're screwed!"

Little Akio said quietly, "The American people, November 4, 2008."
Nice. I like the one about George Bush. When I first heard of that I was laughing pretty much all day!
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Old 09-09-2012, 11:18 PM   #957
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Funny but true !


Joke Forum? - The Club House
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Old 09-10-2012, 08:29 AM   #958
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gwk4667
Both of my sister-in-laws have worked at " Buffalo Bill's " on the west side of Indianapolis.

The whole side of the building is a help wanted poster.

"Help wanted
GO GO Girls wanted
no one under 400# need apply"

It is one of the busiest strip clubs in Indy!

Both of them have come home with up to $300.00 per night in tips and that is after leaving 1/2 to the owners!
Seriously? No one UNDER 400 lbs?
People in Indianapolis actually go there???

You must really miss Payton Manning if your that bored!
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Old 09-11-2012, 12:44 AM   #959
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This is the story of the blond flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot. He has a heart attack and dies. She, frantic, calls out a May Day.

"May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead. And I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!"
She hears a voice over the radio saying:

"This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem. 'Now, just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position."

She says, "I'm 5'4" and I support Obama."

"O.K." says the voice on the radio....

"Repeat after me: Our Father. . Who art in Heaven. . . .."
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Old 09-11-2012, 01:15 AM   #960
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A woman who had been married three times walked into a bridal shop one
day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown
for her fourth wedding.

"Of course, madam," replied the sales clerk, "exactly what type and
color dress are you looking for?

The bride to be said, "A long frilly white dress with a veil."

The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, "Please don't take this the
wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for
brides who are being married the first time - for those who are a bit
more innocent, if you know what I mean? Perhaps ivory or sky blue would
be nice?"

"Well," replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk's
directness, "I can assure you that a white gown would be quite
appropriate. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as
innocent as a first-time bride. You see, my first husband was so
excited about our wedding, he died as we were checking into our honey
moon hotel. My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in
the limo on our way to our honeymoon hotel that we had that wedding
annulled immediately and never spoke to each other again."

"What about your third husband?" asked the sales clerk.

"That one was a Democrat," said the woman, "and every night for four
years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was
going to be,
but nothing ever happened."
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