Newest Threads

**Daoust_Nat** · 08-27-2012, 11:48 PM

That was great!

**Daoust_Nat** · 08-27-2012, 11:49 PM

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young

Mothers and their small children.
You all have obsessions,' he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said, 'You are obsessed with eating.
You've even named your daughter Candy.'

He turned to the second Mom, Ann: 'Your obsession is with money.
Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny.'

He turned to the third Mom, Kathy: 'Your obsession is alcohol.
This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy.'

At this point, the fourth mother, Joyce, quietly got up, took her little
boy by the hand and whispered, 'Come on Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about.

**AIKIJUTSU** · 08-28-2012, 12:23 PM

This really happened. When I was in college, I had to take a basic psychology class whether I wanted to or not. The professor was a self-appointed comedian. Although the spelling is not identical, when spoken, the words sound right:
One day at the beginning of class, he said, "I am going to show you that you are all a bunch of nuts". "I am going to give you a test. That makes me the testor. And it makes you the testees. And what is another name for testes? So there you are, a bunch of nuts". We all figured that he fit right in, too.

**willshoum** · 08-28-2012, 12:32 PM

A mans death certificate read DWI.....The family was outraged, and said he was out fishing on the bank of the river......The coroner said yes and he Drowned while intoxicated..........

**Vikingdad** · 08-31-2012, 09:18 PM

An Irish priest was transferred to Arizona..

Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new west Arizona mission parish.. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station.

The conversation went like this:

"Good morning! This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"

"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann 's Catholic Church. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o'yer lads to take care of the matter?"

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the foreign accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!"

There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.......Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye,'tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call."

RustyShackleford101 · 09-01-2012, 12:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vikingdad

An Irish priest was transferred to Arizona..

Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new west Arizona mission parish.. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station.

The conversation went like this:

"Good morning! This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"

"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Ann 's Catholic Church. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o'yer lads to take care of the matter?"

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the foreign accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!"

There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.......Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye,'tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call."

Oh the classics, how I love em. Will the saga of Father O'Mally jokes never end.