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Old 08-03-2012, 05:43 AM   #891
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Things go blurry when being blown up.

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Oh dern....


Revelation 19:11

And I saw heaven opened, and behold a white horse; and he that sat upon him was called Faithful and True, and in righteousness he doth judge and make war.

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Old 08-03-2012, 12:25 PM   #892
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Well, there is a REASON things get blurry- when being blown up!

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Old 08-03-2012, 01:30 PM   #893
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kytowboater
Things go blurry when being blown up.
Officer, everything is so blurry. I can't remember if I was at the site of the explosion or not.
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Old 08-03-2012, 02:21 PM   #894
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Quote:
Originally Posted by c3shooter View Post
Well, there is a REASON things get blurry- when being blown up!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A44an20sPik&feature=related
My son says that was photoshopped. What's the deal C3?
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Old 08-03-2012, 07:38 PM   #895
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vikingdad

My son says that was photoshopped. What's the deal C3?
Had to be. Hard to believe it blew that guy away and the camera barely moved. Lol
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Old 08-03-2012, 09:44 PM   #896
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Having BEEN blown up a few times, I am certain that IS photoshopped.

But still funny! (I was never THAT nonchalant after the fact)

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Old 08-04-2012, 12:59 AM   #897
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I'll take the word of a pro then. Lol

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Old 08-04-2012, 04:18 PM   #898
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An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie
and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."

No one moved.

The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel
glory.

Now stand and confess your transgression."

Again, all was quiet.

Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a
runaway train rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."

The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation
roared.

Life is Short. Smile while you still have Teeth.

Give me an Amen Brother!!

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Old 08-06-2012, 02:01 AM   #899
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When you're from the country, your perception is a little bit different.

A farmer drove to a neighbor's farmhouse and knocked at the door.

A boy, about 9, opened the door.

"Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer.

"No, they went to town."

"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"

"No, he went with Mom and Dad."

The farmer stood there for a time, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumblingto himself.

"I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message."

"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about yourbrother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant".

The boy thought for a moment... "You would have to talk to Dad about that.

I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the pig, but I don't know how much he charges for Howard."

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Old 08-06-2012, 05:45 PM   #900
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She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual
soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only
the 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.

As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly,

“You’ve got to make love to me this very moment!"

My eyes lit up and I thought,

"I am either still dreaming
or this is going to be my lucky day!"

Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then
gave it my all right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said,

"Thanks," and returned to the stove,
Her T-shirt still around her neck.

Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked,

"What was that all about?"

She explained,

"The egg timer's broken."

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