Joke Forum? - Page 89
Firearm & Gun Forum - FireArmsTalk.com > General Discussion Forums > The Club House > Joke Forum?

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-01-2012, 07:35 PM   #881
Moderator
FTF_MODERATOR.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
c3shooter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Third bunker on the right,Central Virginia
Posts: 16,690
Liked 8850 Times on 3832 Posts
Likes Given: 1379

Default

Had a sorority girl pull the same sort of crap at a party- I was a newly promoted 1Lt at the time. Made comment in my earshot. Walked by, stopped, looked her up and down, said "How's the job at the strip club working out?" and kept walking.

__________________

What we have here is... failure- to communicate.

c3shooter is offline  
AIKIJUTSU Likes This 
Reply With Quote
Old 08-01-2012, 07:37 PM   #882
FTF_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Pendleton, 29670,South Carolina
Posts: 2,586
Liked 1273 Times on 736 Posts
Likes Given: 1937

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by c3shooter View Post
Had a sorority girl pull the same sort of crap at a party- I was a newly promoted 1Lt at the time. Made comment in my earshot. Walked by, stopped, looked her up and down, said "How's the job at the strip club working out?" and kept walking.
LOL!!!
Her name didn't happen to be "Suzanne", did it?
__________________
AIKIJUTSU is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 08-01-2012, 07:40 PM   #883
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: fordland,missouri
Posts: 11,099
Liked 862 Times on 648 Posts
Likes Given: 1

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by c3shooter
Had a sorority girl pull the same sort of crap at a party- I was a newly promoted 1Lt at the time. Made comment in my earshot. Walked by, stopped, looked her up and down, said "How's the job at the strip club working out?" and kept walking.
I'd have dropped a quarter at her feet and said keep tricking
__________________
Marlinman is offline  
AIKIJUTSU Likes This 
Reply With Quote
Old 08-01-2012, 10:18 PM   #884
FTF_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Daoust_Nat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Orlando,Florida
Posts: 2,105
Liked 1227 Times on 600 Posts
Likes Given: 74

Default

Yesterday my daughter asked why I didn't do something useful with my time.
She suggested I go down to the senior center and hang out with the guys.


I did this and when I got home last night I told her that I had joined a
parachute club.
She said "Are you nuts? You're 71 years old and you're going to start
jumping out of airplanes?"


I proudly showed her that I even got a membership card.


She said to me, "You idiot, where are your glasses! This is a membership
to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club!"


I'm in trouble again and don't know what to do! I signed up for five jumps
a week!

Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier.

__________________
Daoust_Nat is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 08-01-2012, 11:35 PM   #885
FTF_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Daoust_Nat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Orlando,Florida
Posts: 2,105
Liked 1227 Times on 600 Posts
Likes Given: 74

Default

A Minnesota farmer named Olie had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Eversweet Company.

In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot attorney questioned him thus: 'Didn't you say to the state trooper
at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?"

Olie responded: 'vell, I'lla tell you vat happened dere. I'd yust loaded my fav'rit cow, Bessie, into da... '

'I didn't ask for any details', the lawyer interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene
of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?'

Olie said, 'vell, I'd yust got Bessie into da trailer and I vas drivin' down da road.... '

The lawyer interrupted again and said, 'Your Honor, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question. '

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Olie's answer and said to the attorney: 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite cow, Bessie'.

Olie said: 'Tank you' and proceeded. 'vell as I vas saying, I had yust loaded Bessie, my fav'rit cow, into de trailer and was drivin' her down de road vin dis huge Eversweet truck and trailer came tundering tru a stop sign and hit me trailer right in da side



by golly. I was trown into one ditch and Bessie was trown into da udder ditch.

By yimminy yahosaphat I vas hurt, purty durn bad, and didn't want to move. An even vurse dan dat, I could hear old Bessie a moanin' and a groanin'. I knew she vas in terrible pain yust by her groans.

Shortly after da accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Bessie a moanin' and a groanin' too, so he vent over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her right between the eyes.

Den da policeman came across de road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, 'How are you feelin'?'


'Now wot da f#$k vud you say?

__________________
Daoust_Nat is offline  
4
People Like This 
Reply With Quote
Old 08-02-2012, 02:20 AM   #886
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
RustyShackleford101's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 774
Liked 80 Times on 67 Posts

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by AIKIJUTSU

LOL!!!
Her name didn't happen to be "Suzanne", did it?
I went to SLU for 4 years in Northern New York. It was a nice school but talk about stuck upeddness. I was never in the service but I was pretty much the only local in the entire school. People there didn't completely understand what a "farm" was.
__________________
RustyShackleford101 is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 08-02-2012, 12:41 PM   #887
FTF_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Pendleton, 29670,South Carolina
Posts: 2,586
Liked 1273 Times on 736 Posts
Likes Given: 1937

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by RustyShackleford101 View Post
I went to SLU for 4 years in Northern New York. It was a nice school but talk about stuck upeddness. I was never in the service but I was pretty much the only local in the entire school. People there didn't completely understand what a "farm" was.
And people like that are running our country. They have no connection with the reality of everyday lives of the people they govern.
__________________
AIKIJUTSU is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 08-03-2012, 12:57 AM   #888
FTF_SUPPORTER.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
Daoust_Nat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Orlando,Florida
Posts: 2,105
Liked 1227 Times on 600 Posts
Likes Given: 74

Default

The Secret Service issued new rules of conduct for agents Friday.


They can no longer get drunk, procure hookers or go to strip bars.
The rules say that from now on, if agents feel compelled to engage
in such behavior, they can run for public office like everyone else.

__________________
Daoust_Nat is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 08-03-2012, 01:08 AM   #889
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
RustyShackleford101's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 774
Liked 80 Times on 67 Posts

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by AIKIJUTSU

And people like that are running our country. They have no connection with the reality of everyday lives of the people they govern.
Ain't that the truth. When I moved I learned quickly that in rural areas (which is where I love now), when somebody asks me where I grew up or where I'm from never say "New York". I would get a snear and then they would say"ain't that great, city boy!" I always said "New York, but not NYC. And especially after seeing the kind of geniuses that have been (and are)running the city don't blame em!
__________________
RustyShackleford101 is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Old 08-03-2012, 05:37 AM   #890
Ain't she sweet?
FTF_MODERATOR.png
Feedback Score: 0 reviews
 
winds-of-change's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Northern Illinois
Posts: 22,879
Liked 7098 Times on 4272 Posts
Likes Given: 8607

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Secondhand_Hero View Post
Ah, if you could find it i'd love to see it!
Here is is. Unfortunately it is very small and when I tried to blow it up it got blurry. I hope you can do something with it. I am not very computer savvy.
princess-poster.jpg  
__________________
Honor Student: School of Hard Knocks
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
Quando Omni Flunkus Moritatus
winds-of-change is offline  
 
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Firearms Forum Replies Last Post
Is it just me or does the firing line forum seem restrictive compared to this forum tiberius10721 The Club House 43 03-20-2013 04:39 PM
Fixing Death Row: Not a joke or forum game Dillinger The Club House 30 06-26-2010 07:40 PM
Joke Of the Day markerdown The Club House 8 11-13-2009 07:09 PM
Joke of the Day markerdown The Club House 5 10-23-2009 11:20 PM