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Old 06-11-2012, 07:35 PM   #771
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Originally Posted by Marlinman View Post
No no it didn't.
The bear in the story was not only gay, he was Irish. He was part of that gay Irish couple, Michael Fitz-Patrick and Patrick Fitz-Michael.
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Old 06-11-2012, 07:36 PM   #772
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Originally Posted by AIKIJUTSU

The bear in the story was not only gay, he was Irish. He was part of that gay Irish couple, Michael Fitz-patrick and Patrick Fitz-michael.
Even better......not!
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Old 06-11-2012, 10:42 PM   #773
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Originally Posted by AIKIJUTSU

The bear in the story was not only gay, he was Irish. He was part of that gay Irish couple, Michael Fitz-Patrick and Patrick Fitz-Michael.
Ha, now there's some mudholes!
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Old 06-12-2012, 07:26 AM   #774
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Its not a joke, but hours to show what some police departments have for dispatchers. I was on duty a 18 wheeler drive by and smoke was rolling out of his trailer so I called it in. the dispatcher asked for a description, I told him it was white with green lettering on the side and there was a lot of smoke coming from the trailer. And few second later he asks for a better description. I said yeah there us a crap load of smoke coming from it.

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Old 06-12-2012, 10:14 AM   #775
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Last week, Ethel checked into a
motel on her 70th birthday and she was a bit lonely. She thought, "I'll
call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and
sensual massages."

She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad
for a guy calling himself Tender Tony - a very handsome man with assorted
physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all
the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six
pack abs and she felt quite certain she could bounce a quarter off his
well oiled bum....


She figured, what the heck,
nobody will ever know. I'll give him a call.

"Good evening, ma'am, how may I
help you? . . Oh my, he sounded sooo sexy!

Afraid she would lose her nerve
if she hesitated, she rushed right in, "Hi, I hear you give a great
massage. I'd like you to come to my motel room and give me one. No, wait,
I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really
want is sex. I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys,
rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll
go hot and heavy all night - tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and
whipped cream, anything and everything, I' m ready!! Now how does that
sound?"

He said, "That sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an
outside line."

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Old 06-12-2012, 01:14 PM   #776
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zodiac131911 View Post
Its not a joke, but hours to show what some police departments have for dispatchers. I was on duty a 18 wheeler drive by and smoke was rolling out of his trailer so I called it in. the dispatcher asked for a description, I told him it was white with green lettering on the side and there was a lot of smoke coming from the trailer. And few second later he asks for a better description. I said yeah there us a crap load of smoke coming from it.
Hah! Did the dispatcher tell you he didn't need you to follow the truck?
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Old 06-12-2012, 01:32 PM   #777
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Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north.

After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."

"Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.

Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?"

"Yes, I do," Said Bob.

"Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"

"Well, um, yes," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, "I have to admit that I did."

"And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?"

Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?"

"She just died and left me everything."

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Old 06-12-2012, 04:10 PM   #778
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I would buy the Sarah mag. Lol
When is Nancy Pelosi scheduled to "grace the cover" of the mag?
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Old 06-12-2012, 04:10 PM   #779
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AIKIJUTSU

When is Nancy Pelosi scheduled to "grace the cover" of the mag?
Yep just threw up in my mouth.
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Old 06-13-2012, 04:33 PM   #780
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zodiac131911 View Post
Its not a joke, but hours to show what some police departments have for dispatchers. I was on duty a 18 wheeler drive by and smoke was rolling out of his trailer so I called it in. the dispatcher asked for a description, I told him it was white with green lettering on the side and there was a lot of smoke coming from the trailer. And few second later he asks for a better description. I said yeah there us a crap load of smoke coming from it.
If the dispatcher waited long enough it would be all smoke and no truck!
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