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Old 06-11-2012, 12:21 AM   #761
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Lil Johnny -Mohammad

Little Mohammad entered his classroom on the first day of school..

"What is your name?" asked the teacher.

"Mohammad" answered the kid.

"You are in America now. From now on your name will be Johnny," replied the teacher.

In the evening, Mohammad returned home.

"How was your day, Mohammad?" asked his mother.

"My name is not Mohammad. I'm in America and now my name is Johnny."

"AH, are you ashamed of your name, are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!" and she beat him. Then she called his father and he too beat him.

The next day Mohammad returned to school. When the teacher saw him with all the bruises she asked, "What happened to you little Johnny?"

"Well ma'am, 20 hours after becoming an American, I was attacked by two friggin' Arabs."

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Old 06-11-2012, 12:49 AM   #762
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Pretty close to Opaaw's, but slightly different.

Tyrone was doing some finger painting at school one day and figured it would be funny to paint himself white. After doing so he went up to his teacher and said "look ma'am, I'm white, just like Johnny."

Upon hearing this the teacher smacked him and told him to go to the principals office. When the kid got there he told the principal exactly what he told the teacher. The principals reaction was the same as hers, except he sent the kid home.

Once home he explained to hit mom how he became just like Johnny. Not knowing what else to do his mom slapped him and sent him to his room to await his father return from work.

At around five his dad came home and met the kid in his room. His dad calmly asks " son, why are you covered in white paint?" to this the kid says "I painted myself white so I could be just like my friend Johnny."

As punishment the kid was given a spanking and later asked "did you learn anything from this experience?" Tyrone's reply was "as a matter of fact I did, I was white for no more then a day and I already see why they hate us."

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Old 06-11-2012, 01:30 AM   #763
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Teacher tells the kids "Today, I would like for you to tell me what your daddies do for a living, spell it, and if they were here today, tell us what they would give us."

Susie said "My daddy is a baker- B-A-K-E-R. And if he was here today, he would give us a cookie."

Billy said "My daddy is a banker- B-A-N-K-E-R, And if he was here today, he would give us a penny."

Willy said "My Daddy is a 'lectrician- L-E-T...... L-E-K......L-E-C........."

Teacher said "Willy, why don't you think about this for a bit? Who's next?"

Leroy stood up and said "My daddy is a bookie- B-O-O-K-I-E. And if he was here today, he would give us 20 to 1 that Willy ain't never gonna spell electrician!"

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Old 06-11-2012, 03:36 PM   #764
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Thought a few of you guys might like this

.facebook_1587780844.jpg

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Old 06-11-2012, 05:52 PM   #765
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jimogden1984
Thought a few of you guys might like this
Never let your dreams die......lmao
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Old 06-11-2012, 05:54 PM   #766
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You guy hear about the gay bear who laid his pa(w) on the table?

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Old 06-11-2012, 05:57 PM   #767
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bear304inc
You guy hear about the gay bear who laid his pa(w) on the table?
Got caught huh?? Sorry man couldn't resist that's actually a pretty good one though
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Old 06-11-2012, 06:06 PM   #768
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlinman

Got caught huh?? Sorry man couldn't resist that's actually a pretty good one though
Lol, I knew I was going to catch a lil flak for that one, lmao, my pops would stomp a mud hole in my ass, uh,,wait,, no,,,that didn't sound much better,,,,,,,,,
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Old 06-11-2012, 06:08 PM   #769
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bear304inc

Lol, I knew I was going to catch a lil flak for that one, lmao, my pops would stomp a mud hole in my ass, uh,,wait,, no,,,that didn't sound much better,,,,,,,,,
No no it didn't.
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Old 06-11-2012, 06:27 PM   #770
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This is not so much a joke as it is just a true happening that was kinda funny. Years ago I lived in Houston, Tx, and often went to a fast food place called Hamburgers By Gourmet. One lunchtime I was waiting in line and a cute li'l black lady who was running a cash register yelled back to the manager, "Hey Bates, we needs some mo' napkins". The pompous manager yelled back at her, "You don't call me Bates. You call me Mister Bates." The cute li'l lady yelled back at him, "Oh no I doesn't - I calls you Massa Bates." Then she started yelling, "Hey Massa Bates, Hey Massa Bates..." time after time. The manager's face was as red as a tomato. Unfortunately, I never saw her in there after that day.

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