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Old 11-23-2010, 09:38 AM   #61
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Default Thanks to Jeff Foxworthery...

You might be a redneck if... "No one in your gun club has all their fingers"!
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Old 11-29-2010, 12:03 PM   #62
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Default

why do blondes wear earmuffs/...to avoid the draft...why are there no ice cubes in the blondes freezer/...she forgot the recipe.....Must Be a Redneck If....you and your spouse devorced and you are still relatives.....You take a beer to a job interview....You put copenhagen sprinkles on your ice cream cone....
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Old 12-13-2010, 09:08 AM   #63
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Default Thanks to Jeff Foxwurthey...

You might be a redneck if... "Making your bed disturbs at least 3 animals"!!!
(I had 3 pets @ one time, but one of them was a bird)! Two dogs at a time is
enough! The bird I had was a cockateil that lived as long as my last beagle
& both of them lived about 16.5 years! Jethro comes from a family of beagles
that live neary 20 yrs, & Goober might have done so if he were not soo
strong a chewer! "He, ground his teeth down to the gums"!!!
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Old 12-15-2010, 02:31 PM   #64
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Default A texas traffic stop.......

A guy makes a rolling stop at a stop sign,and gets pulled over by a local policeman. The guy hands the cop his drivers license,insurance card,plus his ccw concealed carry permit. OK Mr smith the cop says,I see your ccw permit.are you carrying today??...Yes I am Well then you better tell me what you got??...Mr smith says,I got a 357 revolver in my coat pocket,9mmsemi-outo in the glove -box,22 derringer in my boot,and an ar-15 and a shotgun in the trunk,that's about it...Mr smith are you on your way to or from the range??. NOPE...Well then,what are you afraid of??....''NOT A F#CKING THING''...
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Old 12-15-2010, 10:35 PM   #65
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Default Santa...

To Hell with Santa...If he's such a big shot,how come he has to work at Macy's???..
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Old 12-15-2010, 10:46 PM   #66
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Default New-york...new-york...

Spicing up the new-york city marathon..They should make it more interesting-turn it into the new-york triathion,start in the South Bronx at around midnight...That I'd watch...
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Old 12-15-2010, 10:59 PM   #67
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Default Florida...

Florida has so many strip clubs,They need to change their state flag to just a brass pole...
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Old 12-16-2010, 07:38 AM   #68
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Default Ditto Longhair!

Quote:
Originally Posted by LONGHAIR View Post
A guy makes a rolling stop at a stop sign,and gets pulled over by a local policeman. The guy hands the cop his drivers license,insurance card,plus his ccw concealed carry permit. OK Mr smith the cop says,I see your ccw permit.are you carrying today??...Yes I am Well then you better tell me what you got??...Mr smith says,I got a 357 revolver in my coat pocket,9mmsemi-outo in the glove -box,22 derringer in my boot,and an ar-15 and a shotgun in the trunk,that's about it...Mr smith are you on your way to or from the range??. NOPE...Well then,what are you afraid of??....''NOT A F#CKING THING''...
Well, I never had that experience in a traffic stop... other than being set free
very quickly, But, I HAVE been given a "thumbs-up" by "leo's" when they saw
what was in my gunrack!!!
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Old 12-16-2010, 06:07 PM   #69
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Default Redneck...

YOUR A REDNECK IF...Your the only dad keeping his kid home from school to teach him how to get to the next level on the video game...
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Old 12-16-2010, 09:47 PM   #70
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Default Only in Texas

Buck was a rootin'-tootin' cowboy from Texas. He was 5'-1" tall and weighed 95 pounds including his .45 Colt on his hip.

One day Buck went into a saloon and ordered a bottle of whiskey and a glass. He threw the glass up in the air and shot it with his Colt. Then he started drinking whiskey straight from the bottle. He took a slug and said, "Nobody messes with Buck, and I'm Buck, dammit!". Then he took another slug and said, "I'm more man than any sonofabitch in Texas, and any sonofabitch not from Texas is a panty-waste!". This went on with every swallow until the bottle was empty and then he shot the bottle and headed outside.

Two minutes later, he busts back in and the doors fly off the hinges. He looks around and says, "Alright, who is the low-down sorry sonofabitch that painted my horse's balls pink?"

Everybody gets deadly quiet and finally another cowpoke gets up from his chair and slowly walks over to Buck. When he gets boot-to-boot with him, Buck's nose is barely above the big man's belt. He's 6'-10" tall and 325 pounds and looks meaner and ornerier than a Brahma bull.

The big man says, "I painted 'em, you got anything to say about it?" Buck looks him straight in the eye and says, "First coat's dry".
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